I'll be the rain, falling on your fire escape

I don't think that it's outside of anyone's basic needs to want someone to want them. At some point, living two separate lives, and keeping them separate, starts to sting a little. When someone is actively keeping the natural progression of a relationship on hold, while they live their life, and achieve all the things they want for themselves, you can't help but wonder what your even doing there at all.
It's hard to decide if that person even wants you, or if they just don't want to be alone or start over. It is however very easy to feel like your not something that is important to them when they make a decision, or take a trip, or plan huge life changes, and they don't involve you at all.
That is not to say that your partner should run everything by you. But take buying a house for example. If someone wanted to spend their life with you, and all that stuff, wouldn't they want you to see the house you'd be moving into? Wouldn't they talk to you about moving in, as buying a house is the inevitable plan. So moving out and into a new place is the end result regardless. So when a loved one is going through all these life changes and you aren't a part of it, what are you to think?
When offers are being made and houses are being seen, and all of these things are going on, and it barely even comes up in conversations, much less is the involvement of your loved ones, maybe they have to assess how you really feel about them, and if they are wasting their time, chasing a relationship that they are never going to have with you.
It's cruel and selfish to keep someone around that you aren't in love with, or planning to  live happily ever after with. You're keeping that person from ever finding that happiness with anyone else. Because you're too selfish and scared to explore any of those feelings within yourself. I can't think of a worst situation to be in. My sympathy and patience go out to all the women, and men, who are stuck in this limbo. Do you chose to live without someone you are in love with? or stay somewhere and keep waiting to feel your feelings reciprocated, without insecurity or dishonesty, and achieve the dreams you've had for most of your life. Bob Marley Said, "“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
But when you have to wonder how much someone is willing to suffer for you, how can you waste the precious amount of life, that you have, suffering?