I'd like to say that I will never understand people that need to gossip, and pass around negativity.
But I do.
Insecurity is a powerful thing. I can completely understand how someone in a position that they are not happy in, has to work so hard at cutting other people down, and doing awful things to them.
It's sad, and a little messed up.
Instead of bettering yourself, which takes actual work, and a lot of character, I do completely understand how someone with not a lot going for them, would pass on doing that work, and concentrate on bringing someone they're intimidated by, down to their level.
It's easier. and Lord knows The Worthless hate work, or taking responsibility for themselves.
Except it doesn't really work out.
When people continue to pass you by, while you stay in the same dead end space, trolling and hating, it's hard to see all the flaws in them, and not pick up on the flaws in the person with nothing going for them, continuously running their mouth, or looking for things to gossip about.
It's truly depressing that our generation has such little self worth. Maybe if they'd had a better life, or better parents, or more discipline, or even more importance put on education or character, they would chose the (obviously) more enlightened path.
Maybe they wouldn't act like worthless wastes of space, until that's all anyone thought of, at the mention of their name.
If your unhappy in your life, change it. It isn't anyone's problem but yours
If you've had a rough childhood, or someone was mean to you, get the fuck over yourself. your not special.
I would say that 95% of people have not had a perfect life. Your just like everyone else, except everyone else is smart enough, and strong enough to deal with their shit, and not let it dictate their lives. I occasionally go out to see a band I like, and it kills me, that you can walk into at least four different bars downtown, and all the same bar rats from 5 years ago are still there. I may go to a bar once or twice a month, and I see the same faces, except now they look much sadder, and weathered. Still telling me all about their new band, as if it's not exactly the same as their last shitty band that isn't going anywhere. Every. Single, Time, While most of us moved on, grew up, and got on with the progress of our lives, and I'm not talking about staff. or bar owners. clearly they would sustain a business.
I mean the people with nothing else to do, nowhere else to be, than sitting at a bar, or home on their computer, shooting shit and generally being a worthless hater.
People who watch their friends grow up, move on, find relationships, healthy routines and mature with their life, and just move on to the next slightly younger/dumber group of friends. Then they evolve past you, and you stay where you are, waiting for new people who don't know your tired, pathetic game yet.
I feel bad for these people. Clearly they are not living up to any kind of potential whatsoever, so their defensive. The thing they need to realize is, they don't have to defend themselves. Because nobody is even talking about them, People who only breed negativity, label themselves so the rest of society soon realizes they are counter productive, and forgets all about them. The only time these people get mentioned, is in the piteous tone, of understanding, and sadness that people like this exist.
Showing posts with label questions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label questions. Show all posts
Sunday, 11 October 2015
Friday, 18 September 2015
Baby
Everyone self medicates.
If you've had a bad day, and you grab your favorite greasy fast food.
I love a JBC meal from Wendy's with a Large full sugar root beer, with Chili Cheese Fries. There is something very satisfying about eating something extra delicious and extra bad for you.
Who hasn't come home from a particularly disheartening shift at work and rush to a joint, a tall, neat whiskey, or a large glass of red wine.
Tons of women, and men, act like bitchy little children, at some (admittedly humiliating) moment in their life. Almost everyone has drawn on the differences of another person, and made cruel fun of them, to compensate for their own insecurities and hang ups, at the expense of another person.
That's not even to mention all the cocaine and hardcore street drugs drifting around most communities these days.
I do have to say, I believe that hard drugs would be an exponentially smaller an issue if marijuana was legalized and our Canadian Criminal Code, and Justice Systems were reformed to reflect that of a working, productive society. Nevertheless, The situation is what it is.
People still smoke cigarettes. This used to absolutely confound me, although I know understand it for what it is. The only single loophole for which service staff are able to walk away from a service job shift for 10 minutes and breath.
I now at least appreciate how people could smoke.
I was recently told that France has way more Smokers than The U.S, but on average the people there are much healthier. They attribute the difference to Diet. With rampant obesity on the rise, it's not news that food is a drug to a lot of us, and abused actively and aggressively.
My name is April. and I'm addicted to food.
Alcohol kills foolish amounts of people between impaired drivers and personal alcohol abuse.
Even worse than that is how many legally obtained Prescription Drugs are abused by either their intended, or an unintended user, every single day in Canada.
How many people standing at that Methadone Clinic, you look down your nose at, as you drive to work, are in line because at , they got they hurt, and saw a lazy doctor who was too willing to write a prescription to a hard working good person.
Everyone has pain that they are dealing with. or not dealing with.
This bears repeating.
Every single person has known pain.
If you were bullied, or had less than perfect parents. If you had a toxic, dishonest, self destructive relationship, that left you very insecure. If you struggle with Depression, Anxiety, Loss, Fear or Pain of any kind, it is very unfortunate that you went through that.
Getting through pain, is not an easy thing to do.
You, however, are not special.
Everyone goes through struggles, it's on you to work through it and get over it, or let it ruin your life.
Why does self destruction feel so good?
Why do we all do it.
Everyone gets to make the choices in their life, whether they are good choices that improve it, or bad choices that make their lives unnecessarily difficult.
Who could blame anyone for wanting a break from that to feel good about ourselves?
We all find ways to feel good. Especially when we don't.
So who, but the utterly arrogant, who would assume that it is their business to judge another person for the way they find, to feel good?
It's said that People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones
I just Don't think you should ever under estimate the force of the wind you're throwing them into.
If you've had a bad day, and you grab your favorite greasy fast food.
I love a JBC meal from Wendy's with a Large full sugar root beer, with Chili Cheese Fries. There is something very satisfying about eating something extra delicious and extra bad for you.
Who hasn't come home from a particularly disheartening shift at work and rush to a joint, a tall, neat whiskey, or a large glass of red wine.
Tons of women, and men, act like bitchy little children, at some (admittedly humiliating) moment in their life. Almost everyone has drawn on the differences of another person, and made cruel fun of them, to compensate for their own insecurities and hang ups, at the expense of another person.
That's not even to mention all the cocaine and hardcore street drugs drifting around most communities these days.
I do have to say, I believe that hard drugs would be an exponentially smaller an issue if marijuana was legalized and our Canadian Criminal Code, and Justice Systems were reformed to reflect that of a working, productive society. Nevertheless, The situation is what it is.
People still smoke cigarettes. This used to absolutely confound me, although I know understand it for what it is. The only single loophole for which service staff are able to walk away from a service job shift for 10 minutes and breath.
I now at least appreciate how people could smoke.
I was recently told that France has way more Smokers than The U.S, but on average the people there are much healthier. They attribute the difference to Diet. With rampant obesity on the rise, it's not news that food is a drug to a lot of us, and abused actively and aggressively.
My name is April. and I'm addicted to food.
Alcohol kills foolish amounts of people between impaired drivers and personal alcohol abuse.
Even worse than that is how many legally obtained Prescription Drugs are abused by either their intended, or an unintended user, every single day in Canada.
How many people standing at that Methadone Clinic, you look down your nose at, as you drive to work, are in line because at , they got they hurt, and saw a lazy doctor who was too willing to write a prescription to a hard working good person.
Everyone has pain that they are dealing with. or not dealing with.
This bears repeating.
Every single person has known pain.
If you were bullied, or had less than perfect parents. If you had a toxic, dishonest, self destructive relationship, that left you very insecure. If you struggle with Depression, Anxiety, Loss, Fear or Pain of any kind, it is very unfortunate that you went through that.
Getting through pain, is not an easy thing to do.
You, however, are not special.
Everyone goes through struggles, it's on you to work through it and get over it, or let it ruin your life.
Why does self destruction feel so good?
Why do we all do it.
Everyone gets to make the choices in their life, whether they are good choices that improve it, or bad choices that make their lives unnecessarily difficult.
Who could blame anyone for wanting a break from that to feel good about ourselves?
We all find ways to feel good. Especially when we don't.
So who, but the utterly arrogant, who would assume that it is their business to judge another person for the way they find, to feel good?
It's said that People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones
I just Don't think you should ever under estimate the force of the wind you're throwing them into.
Sunday, 23 August 2015
What Really Matters
When my grandfather passed away I had lived through my first semester of University. 3 hours away from where I had grown up as a very sheltered, admittedly ignorant of life experience or maturity.
He was a lot of different things. he'd lived a lot of different versions of himself. Before I was born he had a problem with alcohol. when my father was a child, alcoholism was legitimately a life choice, where I'm from.
After a long time of being very unhappy, and abusing himself with alcohol, he realized how unhappy he made my grand mother and their two children, he stopped all that. Turned over a new leaf and became an entirely different version of himself. A man that I grew up with, who made jokes, and liked cartoons. Who always had candy, and some time for being silly with a child.
When I was a teenage my grand father got cancer. Sadly, there is nothing unique in that sentence. Hundreds of people, lose their loved ones to Cancer every day. It is soul crushing, to continue on filling the space in your heart left by a human being, with a handful of memories. memory is truly bittersweet in that it is always telling us that we can never go backwards.
I an a very fortunate person. My grand father went through radiation treatments. He got very very sick, and then he got better. He came home. He drove me home every single time i went for a run, stopped into his home for a glass of water, and didn't want to run home. The day he left my hometown, to come to the city, for his treatments, My Grand father smoked his last cigarette. He said, "Well that's it", and threw half a pack, into the garbage can. To this day, my grand mother swears that he never touched one again
But in 2008, after my first semester away from home, separated from my family, figuring out what was important to me, my grand father got very sick. he was gone within 72 hours. A few years before, he had undergone a hernia operation. Complications had caused him to quietly, painlessly and quickly, slip away from us.
When my grand mother brought home his clothing from the hospital, she emptied his pockets. for some reason, I took the money left there. some change, nothing bigger than a quarter.
I brought it home and put it in a black silk bag.
I never understood what it meant to me. I often wondered if it meant I was a material person. Was I a bad person, because I couldn't find any significance in anything other than money and stuff?
Today I understand what it means to me. As I clean my house on a rainy Sunday, I find my little black silk bag, behind a photograph of my younger brother. My Grandfather, My dad and my brother all share a lot of common features. so it seemed appropriate to keep family together.
Today I know why I kept the money. Not for the value, but for the symbol. The most valuable thing my grandfather has given me, is humility, awareness, and a willingness to start over.
Both literally, and metaphorically, I kept the closest thing I possible could. I kept Change.
He was a lot of different things. he'd lived a lot of different versions of himself. Before I was born he had a problem with alcohol. when my father was a child, alcoholism was legitimately a life choice, where I'm from.
After a long time of being very unhappy, and abusing himself with alcohol, he realized how unhappy he made my grand mother and their two children, he stopped all that. Turned over a new leaf and became an entirely different version of himself. A man that I grew up with, who made jokes, and liked cartoons. Who always had candy, and some time for being silly with a child.
When I was a teenage my grand father got cancer. Sadly, there is nothing unique in that sentence. Hundreds of people, lose their loved ones to Cancer every day. It is soul crushing, to continue on filling the space in your heart left by a human being, with a handful of memories. memory is truly bittersweet in that it is always telling us that we can never go backwards.
I an a very fortunate person. My grand father went through radiation treatments. He got very very sick, and then he got better. He came home. He drove me home every single time i went for a run, stopped into his home for a glass of water, and didn't want to run home. The day he left my hometown, to come to the city, for his treatments, My Grand father smoked his last cigarette. He said, "Well that's it", and threw half a pack, into the garbage can. To this day, my grand mother swears that he never touched one again
But in 2008, after my first semester away from home, separated from my family, figuring out what was important to me, my grand father got very sick. he was gone within 72 hours. A few years before, he had undergone a hernia operation. Complications had caused him to quietly, painlessly and quickly, slip away from us.
When my grand mother brought home his clothing from the hospital, she emptied his pockets. for some reason, I took the money left there. some change, nothing bigger than a quarter.
I brought it home and put it in a black silk bag.
I never understood what it meant to me. I often wondered if it meant I was a material person. Was I a bad person, because I couldn't find any significance in anything other than money and stuff?
Today I understand what it means to me. As I clean my house on a rainy Sunday, I find my little black silk bag, behind a photograph of my younger brother. My Grandfather, My dad and my brother all share a lot of common features. so it seemed appropriate to keep family together.
Today I know why I kept the money. Not for the value, but for the symbol. The most valuable thing my grandfather has given me, is humility, awareness, and a willingness to start over.
Both literally, and metaphorically, I kept the closest thing I possible could. I kept Change.
Sunday, 15 December 2013
The Questions keep coming :)
All anons this week! Keep the questions and shares coming! I love it!
how do you handle creative blocks? what do you recommend to someone who feels stifled in their creative endeavors but wishes to overcome these?
I think the first thing to decide is what is stifling you in the first place. What is it that you want to say, and why can't you just say it. Everyone needs an outlet for self expression and creativity, but it's up to you to find your means of expressing yourself, in a way that makes you happy without interfering with other people. I personally don't put pressure on myself to create at all. When something inspires me to write, I express what I have to say about the topic. If someone asks me a question I will respond in the best way that I know how. You cannot force creativity. it must come from an organic desire to express oneself. Find what inspires you and express it, as long as you're not interfering with, or abusing other people in the process. Nobody's happiness is worth the suffering of another person, your personal feelings are irrelevantIf you had to live the rest of your life in a movie which one would you pick?
How do you deal with liars?
The funny thing about liars is often they are not smart enough to not get caught. So they get caught and have to lie in the bed they made for themselvesSome New Ask.FM questions!
Asked by Anon at Ask.fm/HundredThousand
Q: See my best friend complains all day and I didn't say anything about it for a couple of years and then today and I told her to stop complaining and be more positive and she got all mad and now she won't talk to me or hangout with me and ugh :(
You should explain to your friend that you never wanted to hurt her feelings. That's probably why you didn't say anything all along. It's difficult to say something when you know it will likely hurt someone. Especially when it's your best friend and her feelings mean a lot to you. I've learned that it's only someone who really cares about you that will tell you the truth, even when you don't want to hear it, and everyone needs to check their attitude from time to time. I'm sure you two will work it out. Just talk to her. She can't stay mad forever.
Q: See my best friend complains all day and I didn't say anything about it for a couple of years and then today and I told her to stop complaining and be more positive and she got all mad and now she won't talk to me or hangout with me and ugh :(
You should explain to your friend that you never wanted to hurt her feelings. That's probably why you didn't say anything all along. It's difficult to say something when you know it will likely hurt someone. Especially when it's your best friend and her feelings mean a lot to you. I've learned that it's only someone who really cares about you that will tell you the truth, even when you don't want to hear it, and everyone needs to check their attitude from time to time. I'm sure you two will work it out. Just talk to her. She can't stay mad forever.
Wednesday, 2 October 2013
50 shades of rage
I am so infuriated by the society I live in sometimes. women in my society seem to think it's ok to objectify men like they are pieces of meat and then complain about over sexualized women in the media.
People who are so insecure that they worry their partner will be looking elsewhere. It's not about equality for them. It's about ego. How can you possibly hump the furniture over the guy from Republic Of Doyle, then get offended at anyone doing the exact same thing, and keep a straight face?
But you're suppose to be mad about the inequality of it all. Not happy that you get to do it too? There's a select type of person who refers to themselves as a feminist. Except they have no idea what their fighting for. They just need the conflict and excitement in their lives to be happy. These people
This situation gets even worse. Everyone has access to everyone else. Everyone can use Twitter, Facebook, Instagram. The anonymity makes people too bold, and forgetful that the entire world is watching and judging them.There are ridiculous people all over the internet. I picture it looking like a zombie horde just roaming the country side in the wake of the Apocalypse, casually hunting. A friend of my boyfriend's once tweeted "The simple fact you "can" is not meant to be a sign that you "should"." I'm paraphrasing of course, but I thought he had made a very good point. That kind of moral censorship seems to be void in our society.
But media outlets such as Radio and Television Stations and are egging them on. (99.1)HitsFM posted a photo of an over-sexualized, shirtless Alan Hawco, on their Facebook page, and asked fans if they had any questions for him to answer while he would be in their studio. The comments are horrifying to say the least. about half of them are shamelessly throwing themselves at him in the most desperate, pathetic ways. I'm not saying the man isn't good looking or people should like him. I happen to think he's a pretty good actor and the couple of times I've met him and his lovely wife, they are downright sweet people.
I just think the media should have a responsibility in the kind of behavior they reward, target, and incite. This was irresponsible and inappropriate for a company that wants to be taken seriously and respected for it's content. You get what you give. and if you're shoveling trash out, you've got to expect to get some back.
People who are so insecure that they worry their partner will be looking elsewhere. It's not about equality for them. It's about ego. How can you possibly hump the furniture over the guy from Republic Of Doyle, then get offended at anyone doing the exact same thing, and keep a straight face?
But you're suppose to be mad about the inequality of it all. Not happy that you get to do it too? There's a select type of person who refers to themselves as a feminist. Except they have no idea what their fighting for. They just need the conflict and excitement in their lives to be happy. These people
This situation gets even worse. Everyone has access to everyone else. Everyone can use Twitter, Facebook, Instagram. The anonymity makes people too bold, and forgetful that the entire world is watching and judging them.There are ridiculous people all over the internet. I picture it looking like a zombie horde just roaming the country side in the wake of the Apocalypse, casually hunting. A friend of my boyfriend's once tweeted "The simple fact you "can" is not meant to be a sign that you "should"." I'm paraphrasing of course, but I thought he had made a very good point. That kind of moral censorship seems to be void in our society.
But media outlets such as Radio and Television Stations and are egging them on. (99.1)HitsFM posted a photo of an over-sexualized, shirtless Alan Hawco, on their Facebook page, and asked fans if they had any questions for him to answer while he would be in their studio. The comments are horrifying to say the least. about half of them are shamelessly throwing themselves at him in the most desperate, pathetic ways. I'm not saying the man isn't good looking or people should like him. I happen to think he's a pretty good actor and the couple of times I've met him and his lovely wife, they are downright sweet people.
I just think the media should have a responsibility in the kind of behavior they reward, target, and incite. This was irresponsible and inappropriate for a company that wants to be taken seriously and respected for it's content. You get what you give. and if you're shoveling trash out, you've got to expect to get some back.
Wednesday, 25 September 2013
Born Wrong
I very much think that I was born in the wrong body. I was not meant to live in a woman's body. I have no idea about social norms. I can't relate to anyone ever. I now believe that I was supposed to be born a house cat.
My cat's don't give a shit about anything. They walk on whatever they want. They don't give a fuck if anyone notices them, or is mad at them. They don't care about breaking things or destroying anything. I can't decide if I believe they have the capacity for malicious activity or reactions. But they probably do. and no matter what you can't stay mad at them for more than a couple days. It's impossible. No matter how many mistakes they make.
I think I should have been born as one of these furry, adorable, life ruining monsters. So being a person is very different and difficult for me. I think that rather than figuring out who I am, I'm learning all the kind of people I don't want to be.
I think I expected this to me a much bigger thought then it ended up being. I do know that as a human being
I have the day off, a bowl of yummy herb pasta, some video games to play and a little grass to assist the old attention span*. Now I attempt to enjoy some much needed time alone while I get back to my smithing in Whiterun :)
*Mild ADHD, combined with SAD and moderate depression. My head is a broken playground. smoking grass helps better than all the meds I've been prescribed over the years with exponentially less side effects. I'm actually very hopeful that it will be legalized in the next few years. That will make my life, health and prescriptions much much easier to manage.
Wednesday, 21 August 2013
Bully
This needs to be said.
1. Someone who is direct and honest is not a bully. Just grow up.
Someone who says something you do not want to hear, or does the right thing, even if it isn't in your best interest, is not a bully. Nobody has to say anything you want to hear at any time. You can't control what anyone else does in their life, so worry about living your life right. Not who is going to call you on it, if you chose to be an idiot or a jerk. If you are a jerk. Your actions, and words, and malicious behavior will have repercussions, but that isn't someone bullying you. that is someone not letting you bully them. Stop playing the victim. your not.
It's a naive, childish thing to call anyone who opposes you a bully. Most people will realize this when they reach actual adulthood, and stop being a child who just thinks they're all grown up (often doesn't happen until we reach our late 20's, early 30's, and sometimes it doesn't ever happen at all, sadly)
Maybe we all need to be a little more self-aware and take responsibility for our own selfish, delusional, attention starved actions before condemning the person who cares enough to put us in our place.
2. The world is mean. it isn't anyone's job to hold your hand, or make you happy, or be there for you or any of those things. If someone wants to be there, you should cherish them, not burden them with your baggage. It's your job to work out your issues and contribute to society like a normal healthy person so take responsibility for yourself.
3. Actual bullies are worthless. I recently came across a young man on Facebook. He only went to my high school in Grand Falls-Windsor for a short time and I don't even think he would remember me, while he was a friend, of a friend. This past week, this young man, was robbed and beaten within an inch of his life. A friend found him bleeding and luckily got him to medical professionals in time, actually saving his life.
The wounds sustained are horrifying. Troubled vision and movement. constant pain and so much blood loss that he required a transfusion, upon arriving at the emergency room.
In our small city of St. John's, Newfoundland, I never thought anyone could be capable of such hatred and malicious violence.
The overkill inflicted by this beating shows a shocking amount of anger and aggression that I can't imagine feeling toward another living thing. The fact that a person with so many friends and now a facebook full of hope and kind words, could be the victim of such violence breaks my heart for our society.
Last week, in the United States, an Australian man was visiting his in-laws and was heartlessly gunned down, by 3 teenage boys. For no other reason than a remorseless and terrifying "we were bored"
Nobody should ever have to be concerned about physical violence. Only the slowest, most pathetic people, use violence as a tool, because its the only thing they understand.
They don't understand negotiating, or conversation, or anything that makes the world run properly. Lord knows they can't possibly understand taking the highroad or being the bigger person. I think that these people generally feel inadequate in some area. Maybe something going on at home, or in their relationship. A lot of bullies, are actually bullied. I can honestly say that I have never understood making someone else feel terrible, with the same actions that make you feel awful at the hand of someone else. It just doesn't make sense to me to do something that you know makes you feel like less of a person. I'm going to go out on a bit of a limb and say that they probably don't understand their own feelings. I learned while working with abused and troubled children (I worked directly in the field and received every certification available to me for 2 years) that the most important part of my job was helping people understand their own feelings and actions. Asking most children why they do anything will generally be met with
"...I don't know"
the kid isn't being a jerk. he doesn't know. he's not mature enough yet. he hasn't learned enough to understand feelings or emotional reactions. Whether it's a child in provincial care, or a grown man or woman, I'm confident in saying that they have no idea why they do the thoughtless, immature, and downright stupid things that they do.
It's such a shame that education has taken such a back burner in North America. You can almost watch our younger generations get dumber, fatter and less aware of the world every few months. Recently I watched a television judge state that he would much rather have work outsourced, out of the US, because other countries put more importance on education and qualifying their youth for proper job placement and that he trusts them to handle serious technical issues more so than his own country. Call him a bully if you want to. Say he hates America and condemn him on your precious social media. But he is not wrong.
1. Someone who is direct and honest is not a bully. Just grow up.
Someone who says something you do not want to hear, or does the right thing, even if it isn't in your best interest, is not a bully. Nobody has to say anything you want to hear at any time. You can't control what anyone else does in their life, so worry about living your life right. Not who is going to call you on it, if you chose to be an idiot or a jerk. If you are a jerk. Your actions, and words, and malicious behavior will have repercussions, but that isn't someone bullying you. that is someone not letting you bully them. Stop playing the victim. your not.
It's a naive, childish thing to call anyone who opposes you a bully. Most people will realize this when they reach actual adulthood, and stop being a child who just thinks they're all grown up (often doesn't happen until we reach our late 20's, early 30's, and sometimes it doesn't ever happen at all, sadly)
Maybe we all need to be a little more self-aware and take responsibility for our own selfish, delusional, attention starved actions before condemning the person who cares enough to put us in our place.
2. The world is mean. it isn't anyone's job to hold your hand, or make you happy, or be there for you or any of those things. If someone wants to be there, you should cherish them, not burden them with your baggage. It's your job to work out your issues and contribute to society like a normal healthy person so take responsibility for yourself.
3. Actual bullies are worthless. I recently came across a young man on Facebook. He only went to my high school in Grand Falls-Windsor for a short time and I don't even think he would remember me, while he was a friend, of a friend. This past week, this young man, was robbed and beaten within an inch of his life. A friend found him bleeding and luckily got him to medical professionals in time, actually saving his life.
The wounds sustained are horrifying. Troubled vision and movement. constant pain and so much blood loss that he required a transfusion, upon arriving at the emergency room.
In our small city of St. John's, Newfoundland, I never thought anyone could be capable of such hatred and malicious violence.
The overkill inflicted by this beating shows a shocking amount of anger and aggression that I can't imagine feeling toward another living thing. The fact that a person with so many friends and now a facebook full of hope and kind words, could be the victim of such violence breaks my heart for our society.
Last week, in the United States, an Australian man was visiting his in-laws and was heartlessly gunned down, by 3 teenage boys. For no other reason than a remorseless and terrifying "we were bored"
Nobody should ever have to be concerned about physical violence. Only the slowest, most pathetic people, use violence as a tool, because its the only thing they understand.
They don't understand negotiating, or conversation, or anything that makes the world run properly. Lord knows they can't possibly understand taking the highroad or being the bigger person. I think that these people generally feel inadequate in some area. Maybe something going on at home, or in their relationship. A lot of bullies, are actually bullied. I can honestly say that I have never understood making someone else feel terrible, with the same actions that make you feel awful at the hand of someone else. It just doesn't make sense to me to do something that you know makes you feel like less of a person. I'm going to go out on a bit of a limb and say that they probably don't understand their own feelings. I learned while working with abused and troubled children (I worked directly in the field and received every certification available to me for 2 years) that the most important part of my job was helping people understand their own feelings and actions. Asking most children why they do anything will generally be met with
"...I don't know"
the kid isn't being a jerk. he doesn't know. he's not mature enough yet. he hasn't learned enough to understand feelings or emotional reactions. Whether it's a child in provincial care, or a grown man or woman, I'm confident in saying that they have no idea why they do the thoughtless, immature, and downright stupid things that they do.
It's such a shame that education has taken such a back burner in North America. You can almost watch our younger generations get dumber, fatter and less aware of the world every few months. Recently I watched a television judge state that he would much rather have work outsourced, out of the US, because other countries put more importance on education and qualifying their youth for proper job placement and that he trusts them to handle serious technical issues more so than his own country. Call him a bully if you want to. Say he hates America and condemn him on your precious social media. But he is not wrong.
Monday, 12 August 2013
Bookmark Added.
I just came upon what I think is a fascinating discovery. In very broad terms, this is what happens in every single fight I've ever had with the opposite sex.
I'm pissed off. and even though I'm an intelligent human being who is fully aware that I'm being insecure and am probably blatantly wrong, I don't want the blame right away.
At the moment, that I am mad, I want to feel like it is not my fault. and that everyone sucks except me. It doesn't matter what the issue is. Shut up, I know that was a yield sign. I already feel stupid. I know my friend will be my friend again in an hour. Right now it will make me feel better to hear someone else confirming that She's wrong and I'm right.
I think I realized that we don't need you to fix it. You want to fix it because in your boy brain, that seems to be the best thing to do. As far as instincts go, I personally think it's endearing to want to save or or fix something. But, in reality, when you do try to fix it, it makes us feel like we can't do it ourselves and some of us don't like that, so we get defensive, but you can't figure out why because you're just trying to help.
In our own languages, we both know whats wrong, we just have different ways of helping each other.
Now if only I understood men, this whole puzzle will be a little easier...
Chris Rock know's what I'm talking about
I'm pissed off. and even though I'm an intelligent human being who is fully aware that I'm being insecure and am probably blatantly wrong, I don't want the blame right away.
At the moment, that I am mad, I want to feel like it is not my fault. and that everyone sucks except me. It doesn't matter what the issue is. Shut up, I know that was a yield sign. I already feel stupid. I know my friend will be my friend again in an hour. Right now it will make me feel better to hear someone else confirming that She's wrong and I'm right.
I think I realized that we don't need you to fix it. You want to fix it because in your boy brain, that seems to be the best thing to do. As far as instincts go, I personally think it's endearing to want to save or or fix something. But, in reality, when you do try to fix it, it makes us feel like we can't do it ourselves and some of us don't like that, so we get defensive, but you can't figure out why because you're just trying to help.
In our own languages, we both know whats wrong, we just have different ways of helping each other.
Now if only I understood men, this whole puzzle will be a little easier...
Chris Rock know's what I'm talking about
Monday, 24 June 2013
Photo Find!
So something finally grabbed my attention to share with everyone. A letter written by a homeowner, to Home Depot Canada in regards to their business practices.
You can find this photo at the link provided by clicking on the photo! Give Chris a like and a share! Canada is getting fed up and we're strong enough to take our country back. Chris is helping to start what I think will be an inevitable revolution in our society. Hopefully it works out for Stephen Harper like it did for Charles I in England
You can find this photo at the link provided by clicking on the photo! Give Chris a like and a share! Canada is getting fed up and we're strong enough to take our country back. Chris is helping to start what I think will be an inevitable revolution in our society. Hopefully it works out for Stephen Harper like it did for Charles I in England
Monday, 10 June 2013
Ask Me Anything!
If you have anything that you would like to read about, or any questions. something to personal to ask someone close to you, or something about me that you want to know more about. If you've shared a similar experience or learned a lesson the hard way, share with me. Ask me anything on Ask.fm. The little box is right there on your left. Remain anonymous or make an account and join in the conversation. I set up the account to help people. Negativity never gets a reaction, but the only stupid questions are the ones you never ask. Sometimes a little bit of time (and age) teaches you a lot that you can share to help someone else. So speak up. Help yourself or someone else. I can't fix our passive, crumbling society all by myself :p
Sunday, 19 May 2013
Ask.fm BOOK!
Can you recommend anything to read?
Yes!!! reading plays is getting to be a big hobby again. despite how much I hate it when I was in Theatre school. All the major plays by Anton Chekov, Like The Seagull, The Cherry Orchard, and Uncle Vanya are fantastic. I also have a serious guilty pleasure in the Dan Brown books. Angels and Demons, The Da Vinci Code, Digital Fortress, and Deception Point. Seven Plays by Same Shepard, as well as anything by Eugene O'neill. I also own all of these among tons more books if you life in my area/know me and want to borrow one
Yes!!! reading plays is getting to be a big hobby again. despite how much I hate it when I was in Theatre school. All the major plays by Anton Chekov, Like The Seagull, The Cherry Orchard, and Uncle Vanya are fantastic. I also have a serious guilty pleasure in the Dan Brown books. Angels and Demons, The Da Vinci Code, Digital Fortress, and Deception Point. Seven Plays by Same Shepard, as well as anything by Eugene O'neill. I also own all of these among tons more books if you life in my area/know me and want to borrow one
Ask.fm
What’s wrong with the world?
I believe that the world is filled with fear and ignorance, and not enough understanding. It's nothing unnatural, just a sign of the past really, but I believe its everyone's job to overcome it. i also firmly believe that war and fighting are the worst possible ways of achieving this.We don't all have a gun. But we all have a voice, a heart and a brain, that all work to operate a mouth. Do or Do Not. There is no Try.
I believe that the world is filled with fear and ignorance, and not enough understanding. It's nothing unnatural, just a sign of the past really, but I believe its everyone's job to overcome it. i also firmly believe that war and fighting are the worst possible ways of achieving this.We don't all have a gun. But we all have a voice, a heart and a brain, that all work to operate a mouth. Do or Do Not. There is no Try.
Friday, 17 May 2013
Ask.fm
This actually breaks my heart, but this is a real question sent to me via Ask.fm.
Why am I so ugly ?
I'm so sorry that you feel like you're ugly. I've only seen your display photo but you look like a beautiful girl. I also noticed all the hateful questions and insecure words left for you to "answer" as if you could?
I'm the last person to tell anyone to do anything. When that was a problem for me I handled it very poorly and let those people make me feel bad about myself. All you need to worry about is finding something that your good at and take pride in it. A hobby or an art form. Something that you can get really good at and you'll see that your confidence and happiness isn't affected by those people. You're the one in control of your happiness. So make your life what YOU want it to be and make the most of it.
I learned a very difficult lesson over the last few years. I realized that we're all broken. We're all insecure and hurt. and its very unfortunate that those other people think that making you feel bad will make them feel better, because it doesn't work that way
When I was in high school, I was awkward, and thin and pale. Boys thought I was weird, or someone that they could use at their own discretion Girls appeared to think I was some kind of psychological punching bag. and I didn't get what I had done. None of that has changed at all sadly. Except now I realize that I hadn't done anything. I was a proud and confident person. Outspoken and charismatic. and that intimidates people. We all resent the things that we can't have. Sadly I'm the furthest from that confident, happy person, that i have ever been in my life. But I'm getting back there. and If a mess of a human being like me can do it, I believe that anyone can
In my life right now, I'm moved into a suburb. and struggled with the idea of leaving my rustic* downtown St. John's life behind, but it is in every way an improvement. Now I completely resent this house across the street with beautiful renovations and a lovely deck/garden. I find myself standing in the window, enviously watching their hot tub get delivered, or as their new paved driveway gets finished. I think that moment made me realize I'm an adult now. Lamest.
*Rustic is a word that furniture stores use to describe, cheap, crappy or unfinished furniture.
*Read: ghetto
Why am I so ugly ?
I'm so sorry that you feel like you're ugly. I've only seen your display photo but you look like a beautiful girl. I also noticed all the hateful questions and insecure words left for you to "answer" as if you could?
I'm the last person to tell anyone to do anything. When that was a problem for me I handled it very poorly and let those people make me feel bad about myself. All you need to worry about is finding something that your good at and take pride in it. A hobby or an art form. Something that you can get really good at and you'll see that your confidence and happiness isn't affected by those people. You're the one in control of your happiness. So make your life what YOU want it to be and make the most of it.
I learned a very difficult lesson over the last few years. I realized that we're all broken. We're all insecure and hurt. and its very unfortunate that those other people think that making you feel bad will make them feel better, because it doesn't work that way
When I was in high school, I was awkward, and thin and pale. Boys thought I was weird, or someone that they could use at their own discretion Girls appeared to think I was some kind of psychological punching bag. and I didn't get what I had done. None of that has changed at all sadly. Except now I realize that I hadn't done anything. I was a proud and confident person. Outspoken and charismatic. and that intimidates people. We all resent the things that we can't have. Sadly I'm the furthest from that confident, happy person, that i have ever been in my life. But I'm getting back there. and If a mess of a human being like me can do it, I believe that anyone can
In my life right now, I'm moved into a suburb. and struggled with the idea of leaving my rustic* downtown St. John's life behind, but it is in every way an improvement. Now I completely resent this house across the street with beautiful renovations and a lovely deck/garden. I find myself standing in the window, enviously watching their hot tub get delivered, or as their new paved driveway gets finished. I think that moment made me realize I'm an adult now. Lamest.
*Rustic is a word that furniture stores use to describe, cheap, crappy or unfinished furniture.
*Read: ghetto
Saturday, 11 May 2013
Confessions of a Drama Queen
Moving is a fate I would not wish on my worst enemy. While I was studying theatre, I moved my entire life to a different town of this province more than 19 times, and one trip back and forth to England. Afterwards I went on to allow poor decisions made about Defunct relationships, to move me into and out of 3 different houses in St. John's. and Today I had to do I again.
I hate it. It's such a huge endeavor that I can't start anywhere. It makes me sleepy and stressed out just to think about it. It's overwhelming. I spend so much time trying to help people*, but this is one of the few things that is still able to virtually paralyze me. I can't seem to get my head around it at all. Now THAT is adding to my moving stress. Stressing about why I get so stressed about moving. To paraphase one of my most loved television characters of all time. "For I am April. Lord of the Broken People"
*I choose to view life as a road, that we all travel down, at different speeds and times, and sometimes we hit a pothole and it fucked up our car and we learn a difficult lesson. So if we can't manage to warn someone behind us about a pothole, than we are miserable human beings who don't deserve the beautiful planet that we have.
I hate it. It's such a huge endeavor that I can't start anywhere. It makes me sleepy and stressed out just to think about it. It's overwhelming. I spend so much time trying to help people*, but this is one of the few things that is still able to virtually paralyze me. I can't seem to get my head around it at all. Now THAT is adding to my moving stress. Stressing about why I get so stressed about moving. To paraphase one of my most loved television characters of all time. "For I am April. Lord of the Broken People"
*I choose to view life as a road, that we all travel down, at different speeds and times, and sometimes we hit a pothole and it fucked up our car and we learn a difficult lesson. So if we can't manage to warn someone behind us about a pothole, than we are miserable human beings who don't deserve the beautiful planet that we have.
Monday, 22 April 2013
Ask.fm: What's the worst thing someone can do on a first date?
There are three huge things for me.
1. Be respectful to anyone working during your date. A server, or bartender. Don't be a jerk, or do jerk things.
2. talk about himself qll night. If I want to know, I'll ask about me. If your not asking about me, I assume it's because you don't care, and i lose interest quickly.
3. Manners. MANNERS MANNERS MANNERS. Hold doors open. say please and thank you. do not curse or use rude language that could offend me. Not because I believe I'm entitled to special treatment but because I believe the way one interacts with their trusted friends is not how one should behave when making a first impression. And if your smart enough to do so why take a lazy, classless route. If someone respects themselves, they'll probably respect you.
Ask.fm: Do you prefer Theatre or Cinema?
I actually had the perfect Cinematic idea this evening at a friend's house.
I grew up in theatre. It is a very very fulfilling thing for me to be a part of and it holds a very large piece of my heart. I thoroughly enjoy both. I'm a huge Shakespeare Fan, but I also love Star Wars and Really Bad Scary movies. They're my favorite :) Plus anything with a Zombie. I'm totally there!
I grew up in theatre. It is a very very fulfilling thing for me to be a part of and it holds a very large piece of my heart. I thoroughly enjoy both. I'm a huge Shakespeare Fan, but I also love Star Wars and Really Bad Scary movies. They're my favorite :) Plus anything with a Zombie. I'm totally there!
Sunday, 21 April 2013
Shopping tips for Cars, Shopping online and buying in St. John's!
I've been distracted. I bought a new car this week. Buying a new car takes a surprising amount of time, and hustling. I'm so street that it wasn't an issue but here are some tips for buying a new car
1. Don't commit to anything.
2. Be honest. Don't try to play games or have a bidding war. thats just stupid
3. When you find a car that you like, Get a print out of your estimate.
4. Do not commit to anything. Tell your salesmen that you have some research to do and you need time to think about it
5. Show your estimate to EVERYONE. I brought mine to my dad, my boyfriend and a friend who's dad is a car salesmen. All people who knew far more about buying new cars than me.
6. Tell your salesmen the truth. For me it went a lot like this. But I'm an actor and over dramatic so it was practically work-shopped first...
"Well i brought my estimate to some people who were more knowledgeable than i am, and they seemed to think it was really high. I have a problem now because I really love this car, but knowing there are more affordable ones out there, that would budget better, puts me in a tough place"
The car started out being 27, 000 paid over 7 years at 2% financing.. I paid 24, 008, over 5 years with 0% financing by the time I drove my new car home. but like I said. I'm a hustler
I also got $500 off the actual car price, and a $500 gas card from North Atlantic/Petrol Canada.
More Shopping tips! Buying online is nothing to be scared of. but no matter where you buy, big or expensive purchases can be very intimidating. Here are some general tips I've learned along the way
1. THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS KNOWING YOU DO NOT KNOW EVERYTHING!!!
The internet is an amazingly powerful tool. WHEN BUYING ANYTHING you should research the hell out of it. Use Google, use Ask.com, and any other site that has a search bar!
2. Look for Consumer reviews. Websites like Angie's List and Amazon Canada has a lot of customer reviews. If there is anywhere that passive aggressive hate will be shared. it's usually pretty clear in reviews to pick up on trends.
HOWEVER
One person complaining or giving something a bad rating doesn't mean its bad. It means that person wasn't satisfied. If you've ever worked customer service in your life you know what idiots leave a store, and go home to rant like a big man, on the internet. If you see a lot of people complaining about an issue, it may be a problem.
3. Compare brands and read labels. DO YOUR HOMEWORK.
Marketing is designed to be deceiving in some cases, for companies to remain competitive, and salespeople are paid via commission. they are working for you, so don't let them bully you. Be direct and don't be rushed into buying anything. It's their job to get you excited about your product so you cant say no. It's your job to get them excited about the sale, so they can't say no. Their time is an investment they have to make. This is coming from a salesperson. I sell life insurance and I do very well. But there are people who do a lot better, by being a lot less honest. I'm happy to take the pay cut and have integrity.
the last thing I have to share is that this salesperson, who sold me my vehicle was very very good. His name is Tom, at Hickman Motors on Kenmount Road on St. John's NL. He put me in a beautiful new Chevy Sonic with all the features I wanted and I left with a great price, for a great term and a very satisfying experience. I also have $100 Chevrolet gift cards available for anyone in the market for a new car, that you plan on buying at Hickman. Great service and amazing customer attention. I'm easy to contact, but I think I only have 3-5 tags for the giftcard!
1. Don't commit to anything.
2. Be honest. Don't try to play games or have a bidding war. thats just stupid
3. When you find a car that you like, Get a print out of your estimate.
4. Do not commit to anything. Tell your salesmen that you have some research to do and you need time to think about it
5. Show your estimate to EVERYONE. I brought mine to my dad, my boyfriend and a friend who's dad is a car salesmen. All people who knew far more about buying new cars than me.
6. Tell your salesmen the truth. For me it went a lot like this. But I'm an actor and over dramatic so it was practically work-shopped first...
"Well i brought my estimate to some people who were more knowledgeable than i am, and they seemed to think it was really high. I have a problem now because I really love this car, but knowing there are more affordable ones out there, that would budget better, puts me in a tough place"
The car started out being 27, 000 paid over 7 years at 2% financing.. I paid 24, 008, over 5 years with 0% financing by the time I drove my new car home. but like I said. I'm a hustler
I also got $500 off the actual car price, and a $500 gas card from North Atlantic/Petrol Canada.
More Shopping tips! Buying online is nothing to be scared of. but no matter where you buy, big or expensive purchases can be very intimidating. Here are some general tips I've learned along the way
1. THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS KNOWING YOU DO NOT KNOW EVERYTHING!!!
The internet is an amazingly powerful tool. WHEN BUYING ANYTHING you should research the hell out of it. Use Google, use Ask.com, and any other site that has a search bar!
2. Look for Consumer reviews. Websites like Angie's List and Amazon Canada has a lot of customer reviews. If there is anywhere that passive aggressive hate will be shared. it's usually pretty clear in reviews to pick up on trends.
HOWEVER
One person complaining or giving something a bad rating doesn't mean its bad. It means that person wasn't satisfied. If you've ever worked customer service in your life you know what idiots leave a store, and go home to rant like a big man, on the internet. If you see a lot of people complaining about an issue, it may be a problem.
3. Compare brands and read labels. DO YOUR HOMEWORK.
Marketing is designed to be deceiving in some cases, for companies to remain competitive, and salespeople are paid via commission. they are working for you, so don't let them bully you. Be direct and don't be rushed into buying anything. It's their job to get you excited about your product so you cant say no. It's your job to get them excited about the sale, so they can't say no. Their time is an investment they have to make. This is coming from a salesperson. I sell life insurance and I do very well. But there are people who do a lot better, by being a lot less honest. I'm happy to take the pay cut and have integrity.
the last thing I have to share is that this salesperson, who sold me my vehicle was very very good. His name is Tom, at Hickman Motors on Kenmount Road on St. John's NL. He put me in a beautiful new Chevy Sonic with all the features I wanted and I left with a great price, for a great term and a very satisfying experience. I also have $100 Chevrolet gift cards available for anyone in the market for a new car, that you plan on buying at Hickman. Great service and amazing customer attention. I'm easy to contact, but I think I only have 3-5 tags for the giftcard!
Thursday, 11 April 2013
Ask.fm: What is the scariest movie you have ever seen?
The Descent.
It's on Netflix. Not scary per say but it mostly takes place in enclosed tiny spaces under ground and I can get pretty claustrophobic, so I could barely get through half an hour of them squeezing through tiny rock tunnels. I had to turn it off and watch The Big Bang Theory and Animanics just to sleep that night. I actually shuddered while writing this post, just thinking about that movie. That being said, The scariest THING I have ever seen would have to be The Woman In Black. The Play, in London. The Movie was a poor adaptation at best. The play terrified myself and two friends so much so that we watched it holding hands and screaming together. Anyone who knows me know that getting me to emote in public is next to impossible.
It's on Netflix. Not scary per say but it mostly takes place in enclosed tiny spaces under ground and I can get pretty claustrophobic, so I could barely get through half an hour of them squeezing through tiny rock tunnels. I had to turn it off and watch The Big Bang Theory and Animanics just to sleep that night. I actually shuddered while writing this post, just thinking about that movie. That being said, The scariest THING I have ever seen would have to be The Woman In Black. The Play, in London. The Movie was a poor adaptation at best. The play terrified myself and two friends so much so that we watched it holding hands and screaming together. Anyone who knows me know that getting me to emote in public is next to impossible.
Friday, 5 April 2013
Actual hindsight.
Is it more important to readjust your goals for a once in a lifetime experience? Or should the initial goal be reassessed once we find a place in life that is a surprise comfort zone.
A relationship, or a job, or a group of friends that brings you happiness are very valuable things to some people. but not to others. How do you give each other what you need and do the things that your partner needs to make them happy, instinctively, when your instincts are completely different from your loved ones.
I have to admit I found myself in a relationship like this. I've never met an Abed who was so completely opposite to myself. He gave the impression of being vain and slow, which I don't fully understand because now that I know 500% more about him then I did back in those early times, I see the things that gave me that impression, and now that I understand them better, I realize that the last things you could ever use to describe him is egotistical or ignorant.
I found him unbelievably attractive. Truth be told I had known who he was for a really long time. We had met at Noisy Nan"s (a popular jam space, a few years back, tons of people always jamming and hanging out. It was fantastic.) and I was all fluttery and embarrassed Cause I'm me. and that's nothing like being a normal person with a working brain. Anyway this was months before we were ever a couple. I quickly found out that he had a girlfriend. I was a little crushed. But moved on to date someone, I thought I could fix. Thank God I got out of that. Better late then never I suppose.
But I digress. I realize now that being someone with so much emotional need was just as frustrating as being someone with little emotional needs. Abed and I were so different. So we had to spend more time in the other person's shoes then our own, just to connect. The hardest part about communicating differently, and showing your affection and love is different ways is knowing what your partner appreciates, and what they don't recognize as signs of affection. Try to speak someone else's language, before you expect them to speak yours. Try to understand your loved ones
I think the key is not to find what makes you happy. It's to find the person that has all the qualities you love. and if you want to make them happy, maybe you get lucky and that person wants to spend their time making you happy as well. It takes some people a long time to find that person. Some people find it once in a lifetime. If you have found love in your life, you're a very lucky person, so cherish your loved ones. You're lucky to have them.
"Life is only as good as the memories we make"
A relationship, or a job, or a group of friends that brings you happiness are very valuable things to some people. but not to others. How do you give each other what you need and do the things that your partner needs to make them happy, instinctively, when your instincts are completely different from your loved ones.
I have to admit I found myself in a relationship like this. I've never met an Abed who was so completely opposite to myself. He gave the impression of being vain and slow, which I don't fully understand because now that I know 500% more about him then I did back in those early times, I see the things that gave me that impression, and now that I understand them better, I realize that the last things you could ever use to describe him is egotistical or ignorant.
I found him unbelievably attractive. Truth be told I had known who he was for a really long time. We had met at Noisy Nan"s (a popular jam space, a few years back, tons of people always jamming and hanging out. It was fantastic.) and I was all fluttery and embarrassed Cause I'm me. and that's nothing like being a normal person with a working brain. Anyway this was months before we were ever a couple. I quickly found out that he had a girlfriend. I was a little crushed. But moved on to date someone, I thought I could fix. Thank God I got out of that. Better late then never I suppose.
But I digress. I realize now that being someone with so much emotional need was just as frustrating as being someone with little emotional needs. Abed and I were so different. So we had to spend more time in the other person's shoes then our own, just to connect. The hardest part about communicating differently, and showing your affection and love is different ways is knowing what your partner appreciates, and what they don't recognize as signs of affection. Try to speak someone else's language, before you expect them to speak yours. Try to understand your loved ones
I think the key is not to find what makes you happy. It's to find the person that has all the qualities you love. and if you want to make them happy, maybe you get lucky and that person wants to spend their time making you happy as well. It takes some people a long time to find that person. Some people find it once in a lifetime. If you have found love in your life, you're a very lucky person, so cherish your loved ones. You're lucky to have them.
"Life is only as good as the memories we make"
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