Less Time Online. More Time in Real Life.

I've been away from this for a little bit of time. I'd like to say that I missed it but I've hardly even noticed that I wasn't writing. I've been wondering why I started this, in the first place. What need it was meeting for me to bother to do it. I don't enjoy social media.

I really dislike Facebook, and keep Twitter for local news and support for local business and networking. I don't use any other social media. I don't use Instagram, SnapChat, Pintrest, or even Facebook Messenger. I'm sure there are far more social media outlets that are very popular, I just can't think of any off the top of my head. The Internet is now a very overwhelming place to exist.

So why do I need this pathetic little place to voice my opinions, where (between few and zero) people can read them and understand me? I'm still at a loss for why if anyone reads any of the things I say, despite views and exposure referenced in my "Blogger Insights", but it's protected risk taking. 

Like calling some guy out, from behind your large, violent friend, I may as well be shouting from inside a panic room, in space.

To argue on the internet seems to be such a tiny victory for one's self esteem, or shots taken at an already fragile ego. 

Many would have to agree that the ability to feel good about yourself, and confidently live your life on your own terms is important thing for everyone to have, however getting behind a computer screen, with a spell check, and the whole internet to make you look like an expert, we all get too brave.

A lot of people hold such specific and rigid views and ideals (NOT THAT THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT!) that their emotions are tied very closely to things they care about. When things we care about are threatened, we all go into fight or flight mode.

The internet strips debate down to its BORING bare bones.

All you have are words and punctuation. 

Despite all the feelings you put into what you say, The thoughts and metaphors and carefully chosen words and language, internet lacks the ability to display voice, eye contact, gestures, tone of the voice, speaking the words your reading on a computer screen. It's just data. without all the tools of language, you may as well be reading and processing binary code.

What is even worse than our choices for a method of debate, is the fact that despite the intention of someone communicating all of that to us, we fail to read it as the person we are talking to. 

We read it in our own offended, sometimes too defensive voice. When we're arguing with another faceless humanoid, that we  have no emotional connection to, our responsibilities to think before we speak, and show have respect for one another are gone because this relationship is fleeting. its not a person you have any investment in, or something that is in our life. 

Arguing with the people in our lives is more difficult. what if they leave? What if you hurt their feelings, and cant take it back? what if you change this relationship, forever? we do a lot more thinking before we speak, when we care about the words we use.

If we all got off the internet and resumed living in real life, we would see the world a lot differently and our interactions with each other would be much more positive and productive. 

I feel like our society being so vain, and insecure has a lot to do with our new antisocial internet lifestyle. I can't decide which one I think is the metaphorical Chicken and which one is The Egg. 

I don't know why I continue to contribute to this blog and the lifestyle I'm criticizing. I do know, that I am in no way perfect. Aren't we all really just looking for other people to connect with? I don't believe that people want to fight. I believe people want to be understood. They want to be validated, and secure that their version of happiness isn't being threatened. To find others like us to share a version of happiness with. SO shouldn't we all get off the internet and take a more hands on approach to our happiness?

Ask.fm: Do you prefer Theatre or Cinema?

I actually had the perfect Cinematic idea this evening at a friend's house.
I grew up in theatre. It is a very very fulfilling thing for me to be a part of and it holds a very large piece of my heart. I thoroughly enjoy both. I'm a huge Shakespeare Fan, but I also love Star Wars and Really Bad Scary movies. They're my favorite :) Plus anything with a Zombie. I'm totally there!

Dirty Little Secrets

So I have a confession to make. I have to admit this is very difficult for me to share, but here goes. I love romance and gestures of affection. I don't like that I do. I'm relatively feeling-less otherwise. I often fear that on some level I'm a psychopath because I honestly have very little emotional attachment to 90% of the people around me. But when it comes to the people I do care about, I cannot do enough to show them how I feel.
 I talk to my family (mom, dad and brothers) at least 3 times a week. Unfortunately I live in a different city from all of them so It's really hard to see them more often than I do.
I also constantly try to go over and above to show boyfriends/partners what they mean to me. gifts, dates, cooking meals, back rubs, voicing my own feelings so they know what they mean to me.
Despite being mostly stone faced  I fall very hard for people. I can usually tell in the first couple of months, If I love someone, or if I'm wasting their/my time. I guess that is part of coldness that I can appreciate. I can cut ties and be over it, fairly quickly when it becomes apparent to me that, that is, in fact, the best option.
I cry a lot. like a lot. I think that it's because I keep all my feelings hidden from the general population. I don't trust most people. So because I only share my feelings/emotions with a few select people that I do trust, they all come flooding out and it's hard to control. Like flood gates I suppose. Or trying to close a fire door, to escape when like 15 Zombies are pushing on the other side and have their stupid zombie arms are all jammed in the slightly open door. stressful to say the least.
But there is nothing that makes me happier than gestures of affection. Physical contact, words spoken, cards and simple gifts that don't cost money. Something real that I can see.
I think maybe my trust issues go deeper than I realize.
Maybe I don't even trust myself, or I just can't trust believing. I have to see it, and hear it proven, to know its not going anywhere.  Which is kind of funny because I'm one of the few people I know in my age group that still hold a strong connection to my christian faith, and God. I just can't believe in people I suppose, but that shouldn't be very surprising for anyone. Humanity becomes less deserving of our faith and trust, every single day we're on the planet.
That was a bit of a rant. I had a very humbling meeting at my office today and it's causing me to reflect a lot. Now that the pity party is over, I will get back to work and stop feeling bad about myself.
Everyone needs to vent sometimes after all. If you ever need to vent, feel free to do it here. On your left. That little Ask.fm box?
<----right there!
you can tell me anything. Ask me any question you want or share any story that you think will help someone else. While I do stand by my statement that I don't have any feelings, I do have a great deal of concern for the moral fiber of our society these days, For teen girls, and everyone who has the unfortunate task of going against the grain and standing out. People who should be supported, and taught and loved. Not shunned for their individualism. Again, my personal baggage comes out here ha ha thank god growing up in a shithole with terrible people systematically killed all the feelings I had. What a mess I would be now. ha ha

Make Love and Cookies. Not War and Segregation.

<3 april

Make Way for Queen Bambi!

So I wanted to take a few minutes to talk about a new business in St. John's/online. A friend of mine has started Queen Bambi Boutique. This shop is essentially me in a nutshell. Pretty flower and cute animal accessories and Zombie Apocalypse goodness. I've reserved my copy of The Rise Of The General, A fantastic addition to The Walking Dead comic book series, for those who are fans of the comics or television show.
Queen Bambi is a modern day collage of things. I love these kind of shops because you simply never know what you are going to find there. Original pieces that your friends will covet, and you will love showing off.
The other thing I love about Queen Bambi, is the tons of gift ideas. If I see something and I don't immediately want it for myself, it;s because i know it will make an amazing gift to perfectly suit a friend or lovde ones personality or individual style. Serious Check out this shop! and Like them on Facebook today!

CHECK OUT QUEEN BAMBI BOUTIQUE RIGHT NOW!! 
quantities are limited and this is your opportunity to score original pieces your friends (and strangers) will wish they found first!!

Mine! but if you hurry you can secure a copy too!!

Lots of really awesome things for lots of different people. Ahh diversity. what a beautiful thing :)

Peace Out Formspring

So as you know, Formspring is shutting down. I don't think anyone is surprised, I have, however found a great new site that will give you the same options. Ask me anything, or share any story with me. You have no idea how many people you could help just by sharing an experience. sign as "anon" if you don't want your name/info posted and I'll pick a Community Character that I think best fits you! ask.fm/HundredThousand

Always Cherish The Cabin! (Formspring Question #12)

Formspring Asked: What's a secret skill that you have?

I grew up in a small town where dad and my male (and female) family members are hunters and outdoors people. I'm small and frail, and thus not built for such things. But i have been taught to shoot both guns and bows. I'm actually a pretty good shot. although it's been a few years since I've been around them.
My dad taught me to respect the large, potentially dangerous animals, that frequent our cabin property and the tools we use to hunt them. I used to be very afraid of guns. Now i understand that because I possess the knowledge to use them safely, I can view them as tools, not weapons. That being said, I grew up with hunting rifles and a standard fiberglass bow and arrow set. Dad also dulled my arrows until i was able to actually aim/hit a target. Far cry from the semiautomatic weapons that I agree should not be legal for private ownership.
Also, and this is completely not your questions, but rather where my train of thought took me, my dad is converting his cabin, to be completely light/wind powered. It's just a project for him. He's an old hippie who possesses a fascination for science and technology. I just see a self-sufficient cabin, kept safe by an iron gate, with an artisan well and food stocks for months. When the Zombie Apocalypse hits. You can find me there.

Shameless Self Promotion

Hey All! Like my page on Facebook to stay up to date on posts and conversations n the blog! Follow me on Twitter @TheWonderWords and tweet me you're relationship questions and stories

"Always, cherish the cabin"

We had this cabin when I was a kid. It was on an island. (A small one, no bigger than a city block, but an island none the less!) That island was our paradise. My brother and I and our cousins and friends were in love with that place. I had just read Island Of The Blue Dolphins by Scott O'Dell so this was very very exciting to me.
The part of the trip I always hated was the drive there. 90 minutes, and It broke away from the main road after about half an hour and turned into a road that I feel was designed to make me vomit. I got sick every single time I went to that cabin, and I would cry and say I didn't want to go, because of it.
In hindsight, some of my most amazing memories and stories I love to tell people, happened on that island. I shot my first Bow & Arrow there, and later my first gun. (I'm a really really good shot. the result of hippie parents in Newfoundland. Unlike regular hippies, they had come to terms with killing things as a food source.) I like to think I've grown up a little as of late.
I went through a period of time where I had to deal with things far above my maturity level. For a really long time. I feel older than I am and so I have a great deal of trouble placing where I "should be" in life. This issue also caused me a  lot of grief and stress, but I've learned that there isn't one path that we're all suppose to be on. We all need to find our own path. This can be very difficult, without someone going ahead of us to make the trail a little smoother for us.

I'm headed right back to that island at the first signs of a Zombie Apocalypse. My Go Bag is packed.