The Worst Diet

I sometimes think about how thin I used to be.
When trying on clothes at the mall is discouraging, or the level of takeout in my diet is embarrassing, I immediately wish for the body that I had 6 years ago.

The body that I had when I had no money for groceries because I had accumulated so much debt, wasting money, drinking and being stupid, that the truly impressive amount of money I was making waiting tables and bartending, was eaten up by debt, bills, and the aforementioned stupidity.

The body that I had when I was in an abusive, unhealthy relationship. When I was up arguing all night long, and sleeping all day, and doing too much for an unhealthy person in denial about their issues.

The body I had, when I was isolated, and didn't have any friends. Nobody to invite me to dinner, or to go shopping with. Nobody to show me nerdy card/board/video games, and make me feel good about myself. When I was so pestered by people looking to troll and make my life miserable that I literally wanted to die, instead of go out to socialize ad give them any more ammunition

The body that I had, when I spent a lot time answering for my behavior. Explaining where I was, and trying desperately to prove that I wasn't "another dumb slutty girl, who lies to guys, and manipulates them".

I made very bad decisions because I didn't value myself. 

I took in the negative things people said to me, and about me, and I let that dictate my life. 

I was not strong enough to be smart, or even comfortable with being alone, therefore I was chronically depressed. .

But now I know I'm not stupid. Now there is no way someone could make me feel stupid.

In a moment of weakness, I always wish for the body I had six years ago, but I remember the life, medical health, and financial profile (or lack thereof) that came with it. 

I think this goes for everyone.

When things are not what you want them to be, I find it helpful to think of where you've been. How far you've come, and the progress you've made in your life. The contribution you make to the lives of others. Everything that would be missing without you right now.

When you look at the big picture, 5 pounds seems to be a silly thing to cry over, in your car.

Eat Healthy. Get Active. Get More Sleep. Love Yourself.

What Really Matters

When my grandfather passed away I had lived through my first semester of University. 3 hours away from where I had grown up as a very sheltered, admittedly ignorant of life experience or maturity.
He was a lot of different things. he'd lived a lot of different versions of himself. Before I was born he had a problem with alcohol. when my father was a child, alcoholism was legitimately a life choice, where I'm from.
After a long time of being very unhappy, and abusing himself with alcohol, he realized how unhappy he made my grand mother and their two children, he stopped all that. Turned over a new leaf and became an entirely different version of himself. A man that I grew up with, who made jokes, and liked cartoons. Who always had candy, and some time for being silly with a child.
When I was a teenage my grand father got cancer. Sadly, there is nothing unique in that sentence. Hundreds of people, lose their loved ones to Cancer every day. It is soul crushing, to continue on filling the space in your heart left by a human being, with a handful of memories. memory is truly bittersweet in that it is always telling us that we can never go backwards.
I an a very fortunate person. My grand father went through radiation treatments. He got very very sick, and then he got better. He came home. He drove me home every single time i went for a run, stopped into his home for a glass of water, and didn't want to run home. The day he left my hometown, to come to the city, for his treatments, My Grand father smoked his last cigarette. He said, "Well that's it", and threw half a pack, into the garbage can. To this day, my grand mother swears that he never touched one again
But in 2008, after my first semester away from home, separated from my family, figuring out what was important to me, my grand father got very sick. he was gone within 72 hours. A few years before, he had undergone a hernia operation. Complications had caused him to quietly, painlessly and quickly, slip away from us.
When my grand mother brought home his clothing from the hospital, she emptied his pockets. for some reason, I took the money left there. some change, nothing bigger than a quarter.
I brought it home and put it in a black silk bag.
I never understood what it meant to me. I often wondered if it meant I was a material person. Was I a bad person, because I couldn't find any significance in anything other than money and stuff?
Today I understand what it means to me. As I clean my house on a rainy Sunday, I find my little black silk bag, behind a photograph of my younger brother. My Grandfather, My dad and my brother all share a lot of common features. so it seemed appropriate to keep family together.
Today I know why I kept the money. Not for the value, but for the symbol. The most valuable thing my grandfather has given me, is humility, awareness, and a willingness to start over.
Both literally, and metaphorically, I kept the closest thing I possible could. I kept Change.

Motivate Me.

Things aren't going as well as I would have hoped.
I'm not yet in a position to advance aspects of my life to a point where I want them to be. It's getting very difficult to be positive, because I've been given a few extra obstacles in the last year. Things I can't control or stop from happening.
That's probably one of the most frustrating things you can possibly go through. To know something makes you unhappy and still have to watch it happen to you, and live through it, with no real way of recovering the loss.
Maybe that's just another reason I'm really messed up, but sometimes people are too insecure and ignorant to know any better. Sometimes people do rude things like point out mistakes or flaws in other people, to feel good about themselves. Sometimes, people are just so unable to cope with life like everyone else, that they become very self centered and don't know when they are neglecting to treat people around them the ways we all deserve. People who are so unhappy with themselves that it makes them insecure and incapable of being happy for another person. Everyone has had that one friend or roommate that was just impossible to be around sometimes. If they are having a bad day everyone around them is too. Even if your having a good day, these people will belittle you and make you feel low. It's not their fault. They can't accept your happiness as anything other than a personal insult. Their happiness is all about themselves, so you need to make sure you're not wasting your happiness on someone who is just not worth it.
Sometimes we get so invested in something (a job, a relationship, a hobby, or a project) that we're motivated to work harder toward our own goals that we forget other people don't want to hear all about us all day long.
We all have a point and time when someone should take us aside and tell us that the world does not revolve around us.
I believe that we've become a society of self reflection. We all spend so much time in our own heads going over and over conversations that happen. and things that might happen. and what we will say if someone does something to us. Probably more so than all those we spend hours in our own heads saying all the things we wished we had. We all wish we were confident, direct and secure. So maybe we should all stop worrying about everyone else's downfalls, and realize that we need to work on ourselves.

Now some ask.fm Answers

These are actual answers submitted by teens and young adults to questions on Ask.fm I believe that adding positive actions to any situation makes it better so I want to highlight some of the amazing statements given to an anonymous question.

Q. What do you think of all the haters that use Ask.fm? do you pay any attention?

*They all have their own issues they need to deal with. So they take it out on other people. It's like the popular girls at school that are mean to everyone. They're insecure and think little of themselves but come down on everyone else just so they can put themselves up on a pedestal. I on the other hand don't do that. I try to be really nice to other people

Q. If you knew someone was doing wrong and hurting someone, would you reveal their identity

*yes (3)

*Probably (5)

*of course (1)

It's good to know that somewhere out there parents are still raising and taking responsibility for good children who will grow up and be good people.

Ask.FM Traffic

Anon Question: "What advice would you give to guys who want to try and know a pretty lady intimately,mentally and physically, without coming off too aggressive, or too passive"

#HTM: First of all, Be Honest. Look at the situation objectively. Is this person in a relationship already? Do you think that they share your feelings? Do you really know them or are you just too excited about a little crush? Be mature and up front with her. She deserves to know your feelings but its not up to her to make you happy. Sometimes things work out better than you had hoped. But sometimes it doesn't work out at all the way you want, and all you can do is get over it and move on, in search of happiness for yourself.

human facepalm

I was so impressed by you.

I wanted you to think that I was funny, or smart or clever and see something in me that you wanted. I've never had any issue attracting men. Men much more successful, better looking, smarter and a hell of a lot smoother than you. So why did I need you to like me so bad? you never even treated me very well, and sex with you allowed me to make many a grocery list in my head. You made no effort because you probably didn't care if I liked you or not. You loved you enough for both of us.
The worst part I was completely crushed when you wanted to stop seeing me, saying you gave it a shot and I just was not special.
Now, looking back on all of that I feel very stupid. I wasted so much time on you. Reading your stupid, masturbatory blog, and watching you ruin stand up shows, and bomb performances, out of laziness and a spoiled, self important attitude. You want all of the things your friends and family have, without having to give any respect, care, concern or work to get them. Life simply doesn't work that way.
You were a bad boyfriend, but I'm fairly sure that is because you are a spoiled, thoughtless, self centered person. I should be able to tie this into "you can't make a ho a housewife" somehow but I just can't seem to get there right now. One of these days maybe I'll edit this.

It's hilarious to see you anywhere in public, like this morning, desperately trying to act like you don't notice anything or anyone around you, even though you had the foresight to get as far away from me as possible and hide behind a rack of motor oil. Overkill much?
Much less is the fact that I actually paid attention to you, when you talked, and I understand that you wouldn't even know what to look for in an automotive section anywhere. Yet another flaw in your lack of a personality
The worst part about being really smart (government tested and proven "gifted intelligence" thank you very much) is when you see other people who really think they are. They never seem to have the intelligence to recognize courtesy, compassion or good manners as valuable things. Like being smart entitles you to being a rude, obnoxious jackass. In actually its an abundance of ignorance makes someone so uncouth and repulsive.* Not intelligence.
For a really long I thought about you. and obsessed about what was wrong with me. The only thing wrong with me is that I didn't walk away from you sooner then you made me. I didn't love myself enough to know you were a total waste of time. But now I do, so thank you for a lesson learned the hard way.

*There is nothing less attractive than rude, ignorant behavior. Joking at someone's expense, Correcting people in front of friends, or picking fights with other people around. You're a neanderthal and it's hideous. Stop cutting down others to make up for your own shortcoming. it's very transparent and pathetic.

job hunt revival

So after a couple of weeks of working 4 hour shifts and wasting a lot of my time. The health food store tells me that I'm not a good fit and they wont be asking me to work any more shifts. I'm a lovely person though. Lovely enough to pay me little to nothing and waste my time, while bills pile up and debts increase. I guess the lesson I should be learning from this is "people who treat others that way with such little regard on not people I want to work for. She also emailed me at 6pm on a Sunday. Professional I know. Not even enough regard to have a phone call about it. I know I should be happy that they made their treatment of people clear before I was committed to that place, and they probably did me a favor. but right now I'm just upset and being a girl about it for a day. I'm at a total loss for what I did wrong. I loved it there. I loved helping customers and my favorite thing to do to pass the time was to put away all the stock so my pregnant boss didn't have to. I still have no idea what I did wrong. I was 20 minutes early most days. parked in the parking lot waiting for the owner to get there. One day I was late because Bagel Cafe tool a long time to bring us our food/bill. and I called her right away and apologized profusely and it was the only time I've ever been anything other than early.

Now the job hunt continues. The bills aren't going anywhere. I really loved my last bar tending job. but a difficult manager made it a less than good situation. I wish I could go back there. the staff there were my friends and I liked them

Talking bout my generation

The generation just a few years ahead of mine was pushed into professional careers. They were inspired to excel and learn and become doctors, lawyers, and teachers. Because that is what our society needed at that time. Nurses and Therapists, professionals the rest of us could rely on and They met that need and then some. I have good friends in all of these professions that I'm so proud of and value greatly when I need their advice or services.
My generation is somehow caught in the middle of an economic shift.
When we were in junior/highschool we were told that you weren't going to get anywhere in life without a university degree. The world needed professionals, but nobody was taking into consideration how many they were producing. So we all skipped off to university getting our BAs and planning to be teachers and lawyers.

4 years later the same people that guided us toward university changed their tune. Now those same voices were saying
"why did you waste that time? you need a trade if your going to make anything of yourself. Here...Have ANOTHER loan from the government. We won't give you enough to live on, but we'll pay for the tuition and allow you to live a stress filled life where ends rarely meet and you'll get to lie awake at night worrying about your bills."

So while you're in trade school, you still have to work your shitty low level job to pay your bills. because your not 18 years old anymore and you don't live with your parents, and you don't get to start over. Our lot was to make the best of a bad situation, fall further into debt and have our credit ruined by promises and plans that were never meant to work out for us.

We're a generation lost in the middle. People younger than me, came out of high school, went right into the trades and make loot. We're the experimental generation. coming up through school my class was always the one who tested the "pilot programs"
Few of them were a success, most fell on their faces, leaving us no further ahead than we were before. I feel that being the test subject generation leaves us at a disadvantage in life. At least lab rats are still, at the end of the day, taken care of by the guessing idiots who test on them.

Get some coffee. This one goes on awhile...

Over the course of the last few days I've realized a lot of things. Most of which was in large part to an article shared on my Facebook called "10 Things You Learn In Your 20's"
I do strongly recommend giving it a look if you are in your mid (to late :/) 20's. This article is a quick read, and holds a lot of truth, to be honest. Through reading this, I started comparing it to my life, and my current frustrations regarding my work/career. So I set out to talk to my friends, my partner, and my mother (The Holy Trinity of advice/calling me on my bullshit).

But I had a preconceived notion in my head that just working in the mall somewhere made me a loser. and granted, if I was beginning at entry level, minimum wage, working in the food court, at my age, Yes, I would have to agree that I'd have screwed the pouch on a lot of major life choices.

But I'm from the TGIF generation. Boy Meet's World, Family Matters, The Fresh Prince, The Simpsons* and later on Sabrina The Teenage Witch and Teen Angel, taught me about morals and values and respect, So I understand that my education is valuable and I have a lot of amazing job experience, and am more than qualified to begin in lower or middle management.

Reading about the 10 things I should have learned, Number 5 really spoke to my recent career stresses and doubts.

"5. People are pretentious about jobs."

and here is the twist! You didn't see this coming I bet.

I realized that nobody in my life was putting that pressure on me.
My mom just wanted me to be happy.
My boyfriend's only advice to me ever is to make sure that I was happy. It's amazing how much it improves your perspective, when you have someone in your life, who is completely devoted to your happiness together. It's a feeling that I will truly never forget. That is love in my opinion. That level of devotion for another human being. Wanting another human being to be happy that badly.

At the end of the day it was my own presumptions and judgments that I was thinking about. Not any of my loved ones. None of my friends would ever judge me for being happy at a job. that's why they're my friends and I love them more than anything. I don't have many close friends but I greatly value the few that I have.

I've decided to leave my high paying Insurance Sales Job, for something less aggressive I have several interviews for management positions for clothing stores and restaurants. Hindsight allows me to realize that I was happiest and really enjoyed going to work, when I was working with people, in the retail industry, so I'm going back to a retail position where I can advance and take pride in the work that I do, while I enjoy doing it. I think you need to measure the amount of money you need to be happy, against how much bullshit you are willing to take at a job. It's just a job. it doesn't define you. It just pays the bills, and the fact is you're going to spend most of your life there, so it may as well be something that you enjoy. I enjoy retail. So the job hunt continues! I'm going to blog the whole job hunt process I think.

Today I have an interview at 3pm for an assistant manager position. there are two openings. I look young, so it's difficult to appear mature, without looking like I'm playing dress up with my mom's clothes, but little things help.
Wearing your hair in a mature style
Wearing lipstick in a conservative shade, not lip gloss.
Go easy on the makeup. it's bad for your skin, and makes you look really insecure and superficial.
Wear comfortable shoes. If you aren't comfortable, you aren't relaxed and performing at the level your capable of (that one goes for all aspects of life, actually.)

Ask.fm

What’s wrong with the world?

I believe that the world is filled with fear and ignorance, and not enough understanding. It's nothing unnatural, just a sign of the past really, but I believe its everyone's job to overcome it. i also firmly believe that war and fighting are the worst possible ways of achieving this.We don't all have a gun. But we all have a voice, a heart and a brain, that all work to operate a mouth. Do or Do Not. There is no Try.

Ask.fm

This actually breaks my heart, but this is a real question sent to me via Ask.fm.

Why am I so ugly ?

I'm so sorry that you feel like you're ugly. I've only seen your display photo but you look like a beautiful girl. I also noticed all the hateful questions and insecure words left for you to "answer" as if you could?
I'm the last person to tell anyone to do anything. When that was a problem for me I handled it very poorly and let those people make me feel bad about myself. All you need to worry about is finding something that your good at and take pride in it. A hobby or an art form. Something that you can get really good at and you'll see that your confidence and happiness isn't affected by those people. You're the one in control of your happiness. So make your life what YOU want it to be and make the most of it.
I learned a very difficult lesson over the last few years. I realized that we're all broken. We're all insecure and hurt. and its very unfortunate that those other people think that making you feel bad will make them feel better, because it doesn't work that way
When I was in high school, I was awkward, and thin and pale. Boys thought I was weird, or someone that they could use at their own discretion Girls appeared to think I was some kind of psychological punching bag. and I didn't get what I had done. None of that has changed at all sadly. Except now I realize that I hadn't done anything. I was a proud and confident person. Outspoken and charismatic. and that intimidates people. We all resent the things that we can't have. Sadly I'm the furthest from that confident, happy person, that i have ever been in my life. But I'm getting back there. and If a mess of a human being like me can do it, I believe that anyone can

In my life right now, I'm moved into a suburb. and struggled with the idea of leaving my rustic* downtown St. John's life behind, but it is in every way an improvement. Now I completely resent this house across the street with beautiful renovations and a lovely deck/garden. I find myself standing in the window, enviously watching their hot tub get delivered, or as their new paved driveway gets finished. I think that moment made me realize I'm an adult now. Lamest.

*Rustic is a word that furniture stores use to describe, cheap, crappy or unfinished furniture.
*Read: ghetto

This is the one that starts a war

We all went to school with a girl we felt sorry for. A girl who was much too friendly with guys, and thought it was am empowering thing to enjoy confrontational drama with other girls. The girl who relished in being "The Bitch", and didn't care that being promiscuous caused everyone to talk about her negatively.  as long as they were talking about her at all.
It was always a little sad to me that this girl felt she had nothing more valuable to offer.  Dressing in a provocative way, and trying to act the way you think adults act, is the most obvious and childish thing that a young person can do, and it's so obvious because it is in no way, how actual adults behave. it's the way that teens in love with the glamour image of adulthood, THINK adults behave.
Sex is not difficult. Anyone can do it. It doesn't take any education. It isn't something to be proud of. So when I see a girl behaving this way, I don't understand why she can't take pride in her brain, or an ability, or something that requires some effort to be good at.
Some girls have a passion for music, or art. They learn every word, and every song. A lot of them learn to play instruments and make their own music. I believe that any artistic ability is a gift that should be nurtured  Lots of girls Make beautiful art. A dear friend of mine is the most amazing designer. She makes clothing, does interior decorating, and takes stunning photos, of herself and everything else that inspires her. She's not someone who needs to behave negatively, or dress provocatively to get attention. The things in her life that allow her to express herself give her confidence, and security with herself. THAT is something worth bragging about. A healthy version of self worth that nobody else can affect. I can promise you, that when she is alone, she feels just as good about herself as when she's in a room full of people, because her happiness and self worth don't depend on other people. THAT is something hat I envy in a person. That's something that I haven't really figured out yet. Just like a lot of other people.
Soo girls, i have to say this. Stop trying to grow up. When I was younger, these "questionable women" were 16, and it was shocking how young that was. Now girls are trying to mature to the level of a grown woman, at 11 and 12 years old. I beg you to respect yourself. I'm nobody's mother. It's not my place to tell anyone what to do. But all I want is for you girls to realize your value. Find something in your life that you can feel proud of. Everyone deserves pride. We all need it, But don't lower yourself to such a devastating level. It doesn't do anything for you. Well that isn't true. A lot of girls will tell you that making bad decisions and not respecting yourself will make you feel like less of a person at the end of the day. I can't imagine willingly doing that to myself, and the people in my life that care for me. We're all flawed human beings. nobody is perfect, So we all have the task of keeping ourselves in check. Not being perfect is no excuse for not living the best life that you can. You're responsible for your own happiness. Taking responsibility for ourselves is one of the hardest things that we all have to do. But we do.

Ask.fm: Another Rant. Get comfy.

I appreciate the response. I'll definitely mull it over and try and let it sink in. It was actually your post titled "you probably think this is about you", which while I didn't think that, is totally a tendency in thinking for me. Also would like to point out that no I'm not an internet creeper :)

haha I didn't think that, but with a boyfriend in a band who plays for obsessive teen girls its always an issue/concern/thorn in our sides, sadly. 
I actually went back and read that post again. It's a little sad how much of it is me trying to defend my own flaws, both past and present :/ But the message I wanted people to get was that you deserve fulfillment and happiness. and the best way to get that is being a good person, and working hard to achieve it on your own. it will mean more to you that way. 
I had a moment a couple of years ago. where I was thinking about where I wanted to be. and being sad about not getting that far ahead then I realized, that I was the one not taking any steps to move forward. I was the one refusing to grow up. the situation I was in, was not one that would give me the things I wanted. The job I had, the people I had in my life, the relationship I was choosing to be in,* and the habits I had they were all the things holding me back. 
So I realized that I had to grow up a little. I'm struggling with the idea of getting older. Mostly because I'm struggling with the thought that I'm not where I felt I should be in life. I didn't have as much figured out as I wanted to. So I did something about it. I worked on getting a job I could advance in and make good money to be comfortable. The first one didn't work out, but that's life. So I found another job with the opportunities I was looking for and went about getting it. This was a lot of work and took over 6 months and a provincial certification.. but it was the first steps to getting the life I wanted. So I didn't see an option not to.

*this was years ago when I thought people changed, or that you could fix them. If you think this now, you're wasting your time. Please take my advice and cut your losses. Other people's damages are not your obligation to repair/live with.

Anyway I guess what I'm saying is that, more than anything else that rant was about Me. and all the foolish mistakes (hence the name 'Hundred Thousand Mistakes') that kept me from being happy. I guess my hope was that someone would recognize that in themselves and make some changes to be happier.

Thank you so much for your contribution. I really appreciate you taking the time to read my blog, and share your thoughts! thanks again!

Ask:fm (bit of a rant. grab some coffee)

I really like how you express yourself and that you live the values that you write about. However I also find it intimidating. I often find myself intimidated by people of strong value, and find myself asking questions like "am I the type of person that they consider awful'. What advice do you have for somebody who is insecure in such a way and feels they are never "good enough" for someone like you?


First of all, please let me say thank you for such kind words. It seems that you put a lot of pressure on yourself, and it makes me sad to read that, because I believe that every person has value. It's just a matter of their ability to see it. It's pretty clear to me that you have trouble seeing it a lot of the time.
Everyone deserves to feel good about themselves, and be happy. The first thing that I did was assess how I treated people. I paid attention to people's reactions to me, things I did that were confrontational, or self serving. Nobody intends to do it. But we all do, so we all need to check ourselves (as gangsters with street cred such as myself, often say) and make sure that we aren't being a self centered jackass who only things about what they want.....sry that got away from me there.. See. I'm just as bitter and bitchy as anyone else from time to time. We're all just humans.

You don't have to be intimidated by anybody, because everyone is equal. really, you only view them as better, because you don't value yourself properly. I, personally don't consider anyone to be awful, unless they have done something to me, or someone close to me, to warrant my thinking so. I will never ever go out of my way to say anything rude to anyone. In fact, If i don't like someone, I probably just don't speak to them. Because I don't want anything to do with them. If you're someone that I think is awful, than your probably someone who was in my life, but is no longer. so don't sweat it. I promise I don't think about anyone who has had any negative impact on myself or my loved ones. You sound as though you're someone who is still around my extended circle (or being an internet creep. but I hope not) though, so please feel free to message me and talk anytime

Shopping tips for Cars, Shopping online and buying in St. John's!

I've been distracted. I bought a new car this week. Buying a new car takes a surprising amount of time, and hustling. I'm so street that it wasn't an issue but here are some tips for buying a new car

1. Don't commit to anything.
2. Be honest. Don't try to play games or have a bidding war. thats just stupid
3. When you find a car that you like, Get a print out of your estimate.
4. Do not commit to anything. Tell your salesmen that you have some research to do and you need time to think about it
5. Show your estimate to EVERYONE. I brought mine to my dad, my boyfriend and a friend who's dad is a car salesmen. All people who knew far more about buying new cars than me.
6. Tell your salesmen the truth. For me it went a lot like this. But I'm an actor and over dramatic so it was practically work-shopped first...
"Well i brought my estimate to some people who were more knowledgeable than i am, and they seemed to think it was really high. I have a problem now because I really love this car, but knowing there are more affordable ones out there, that would budget better, puts me in a tough place"

The car started out being 27, 000 paid over 7 years at 2% financing.. I paid 24, 008, over 5 years with 0% financing by the time I drove my new car home. but like I said. I'm a hustler
I also got $500 off the actual car price, and a $500 gas card from North Atlantic/Petrol Canada.

More Shopping tips! Buying online is nothing to be scared of. but no matter where you buy, big or expensive purchases can be very intimidating. Here are some general tips I've learned along the way

1. THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS KNOWING YOU DO NOT KNOW EVERYTHING!!!
The internet is an amazingly powerful tool. WHEN BUYING ANYTHING you should research the hell out of it. Use Google, use Ask.com, and any other site that has a search bar!
2. Look for Consumer reviews. Websites like Angie's List and Amazon Canada has a lot of customer reviews. If there is anywhere that passive aggressive hate will be shared. it's usually pretty clear in reviews to pick up on trends.
HOWEVER
One person complaining or giving something a bad rating doesn't mean its bad. It means that person wasn't satisfied. If you've ever worked customer service in your life you know what idiots leave a store, and go home to rant like a big man, on the internet. If you see a lot of people complaining about an issue, it may be a problem.

3. Compare brands and read labels. DO YOUR HOMEWORK.
Marketing is designed to be deceiving in some cases, for companies to remain competitive, and salespeople are paid via commission. they are working for you, so don't let them bully you. Be direct and don't be rushed into buying anything. It's their job to get you excited about your product so you cant say no. It's your job to get them excited about the sale, so they can't say no. Their time is an investment they have to make. This is coming from a salesperson. I sell life insurance and I do very well. But there are people who do a lot better, by being a lot less honest. I'm happy to take the pay cut and have integrity.

the last thing I have to share is that this salesperson, who sold me my vehicle was very very good. His name is Tom, at Hickman Motors on Kenmount Road on St. John's NL. He put me in a beautiful new Chevy Sonic with all the features I wanted and I left with a great price, for a great term and a very satisfying experience. I also have $100 Chevrolet gift cards available for anyone in the market for a new car, that you plan on buying at Hickman. Great service and amazing customer attention. I'm easy to contact, but I think I only have 3-5 tags for the giftcard!

Photo Share

I just found this on my Facebook and wanted to share it. What a beautiful human being. So few left these days.

Dirty Little Secrets

So I have a confession to make. I have to admit this is very difficult for me to share, but here goes. I love romance and gestures of affection. I don't like that I do. I'm relatively feeling-less otherwise. I often fear that on some level I'm a psychopath because I honestly have very little emotional attachment to 90% of the people around me. But when it comes to the people I do care about, I cannot do enough to show them how I feel.
 I talk to my family (mom, dad and brothers) at least 3 times a week. Unfortunately I live in a different city from all of them so It's really hard to see them more often than I do.
I also constantly try to go over and above to show boyfriends/partners what they mean to me. gifts, dates, cooking meals, back rubs, voicing my own feelings so they know what they mean to me.
Despite being mostly stone faced  I fall very hard for people. I can usually tell in the first couple of months, If I love someone, or if I'm wasting their/my time. I guess that is part of coldness that I can appreciate. I can cut ties and be over it, fairly quickly when it becomes apparent to me that, that is, in fact, the best option.
I cry a lot. like a lot. I think that it's because I keep all my feelings hidden from the general population. I don't trust most people. So because I only share my feelings/emotions with a few select people that I do trust, they all come flooding out and it's hard to control. Like flood gates I suppose. Or trying to close a fire door, to escape when like 15 Zombies are pushing on the other side and have their stupid zombie arms are all jammed in the slightly open door. stressful to say the least.
But there is nothing that makes me happier than gestures of affection. Physical contact, words spoken, cards and simple gifts that don't cost money. Something real that I can see.
I think maybe my trust issues go deeper than I realize.
Maybe I don't even trust myself, or I just can't trust believing. I have to see it, and hear it proven, to know its not going anywhere.  Which is kind of funny because I'm one of the few people I know in my age group that still hold a strong connection to my christian faith, and God. I just can't believe in people I suppose, but that shouldn't be very surprising for anyone. Humanity becomes less deserving of our faith and trust, every single day we're on the planet.
That was a bit of a rant. I had a very humbling meeting at my office today and it's causing me to reflect a lot. Now that the pity party is over, I will get back to work and stop feeling bad about myself.
Everyone needs to vent sometimes after all. If you ever need to vent, feel free to do it here. On your left. That little Ask.fm box?
<----right there!
you can tell me anything. Ask me any question you want or share any story that you think will help someone else. While I do stand by my statement that I don't have any feelings, I do have a great deal of concern for the moral fiber of our society these days, For teen girls, and everyone who has the unfortunate task of going against the grain and standing out. People who should be supported, and taught and loved. Not shunned for their individualism. Again, my personal baggage comes out here ha ha thank god growing up in a shithole with terrible people systematically killed all the feelings I had. What a mess I would be now. ha ha

Make Love and Cookies. Not War and Segregation.

<3 april

Actual hindsight.

Is it more important to readjust your goals for a once in a lifetime experience? Or should the initial goal be reassessed once we find a place in life that is a surprise comfort zone.
A relationship, or a job, or a group of friends that brings you happiness are very valuable things to some people. but not to others. How do you give each other what you need and do the things that your partner needs to make them happy, instinctively, when your instincts are completely different from your loved ones.
I have to admit I found myself in a relationship like this. I've never met an Abed who was so completely opposite to myself. He gave the impression of being vain and slow, which I don't fully understand because now that I know 500% more about him then I did back in those early times, I see the things that gave me that impression, and now that I understand them better, I realize that the last things you could ever use to describe him is egotistical or ignorant.
I found him unbelievably attractive. Truth be told I had known who he was for a really long time. We had met at Noisy Nan"s (a popular jam space, a few years back, tons of people always jamming and hanging out. It was fantastic.) and I was all fluttery and embarrassed  Cause I'm me. and that's nothing like being a normal person with a working brain. Anyway this was months before we were ever a couple. I quickly found out that he had a girlfriend. I was a little crushed. But moved on to date someone, I thought I could fix. Thank God I got out of that. Better late then never I suppose.
But I digress. I realize now that being someone with so much emotional need was just as frustrating as being someone with little emotional needs. Abed and I were so different. So we had to spend more time in the other person's shoes then our own, just to connect. The hardest part about communicating differently, and showing your affection and love is different ways is knowing what your partner appreciates, and what they don't recognize as signs of affection. Try to speak someone else's language, before you expect them to speak yours. Try to understand your loved ones
I think the key is not to find what makes you happy. It's to find the person that has all the qualities you love. and if you want to make them happy, maybe you get lucky and that person wants to spend their time making you happy as well. It takes some people a long time to find that person. Some people find it once in a lifetime. If you have found love in your life, you're a very lucky person, so cherish your loved ones. You're lucky to have them.

"Life is only as good as the memories we make"

god problems

Seriously.

So I made a horrifying discovery today.
I logged on to ask.fm to check my questions and share with some people.
I asked (anonymously) for everyone to share their best friend's best trait. and then to share the 3 things they were most proud of about themselves.
Not a single person had a single good thing to say about themselves.
Not a single thing they were proud of.
That is absolutely heartbreaking. Everyone, especially young people, NEED to have something to be proud of. We need to show the people in our lives that they are important, and that they have things going for them. I'm legitimately sad that nobody on ask.fm is proud of themselves. I truly believe that every single human being is beautiful in their own way. Everyone has something to offer that nobody else does. The only thing sadder than feeling as though you don't have anything, is seeing girls who feel that their body is the one thing that they DO have to offer.
I got a question that asked what I would like to change. I would like to change the way women view themselves. I would like to give them self respect and show them the beauty in everyone so nobody ever has to say "good qualities about myself? I dunno" that is the saddest response I've ever gotten. and I will never forget it. I am however determined to change it.