Season's Greetings. Some Simple things to keep in mind.

Season's Greetings

There seems to be some confusion. I hear people when I'm out shopping, or when at work, at a variety of places over the years, and more often than not it's proudly and loudly sworn,

“I WILL say 'Merry Christmas'!, or “Canada is a Free Country, and I can say whatever I believe, whenever I believe it”, or some variation of these declaration. Other people complain that they “have” to say 'Happy Holidays' at their job or public gathering place so as not to offend anyone, because we're all so concerned with political correctness. This may or may not be an issue with our society, that is absolutely worth looking at. I don't think it's a good excuse for claiming that your arm has been twisted, over the matter. How old do we have to get before “peer pressure” becomes legitimately unflattering?

Here is the thing, though..

If you're a Christian, or any other faith for that matter, and you want to offer kind words to another person, why not make more of an effort to be extra nice and polite at the grocery store, or saying goodbye to a particularly great server, at a restaurant.

Generally being attentive and nice for any number of reasons, are great, for spreading holiday cheer, and lightening the mood of the people in your community.

But this is where it gets tricky.

It has nothing to do with you.

You do have the right to say whatever you want. Holding your own beliefs, and having the opportunity to celebrate your beliefs, is exactly what makes Canada so amazing for everyone.

But Kindness is not about you. It's about the person your being kind too. So really your beliefs don't matter in this particular situation.

So what if you are choosing to do something kind, for someone around you, and you don't know what faith they celebrate, or how to choose your words to honour it. Isn't it simply courteous to show your kindness, along with your concern for their feelings, and your respect, by simply saying 'Have a Great Weekend!', or 'Happy Holiday's'.

How does it take away from your own personal beliefs, or devalue the way you celebrate the season, to show enough respect and humility, to be able to wish the best for anyone who might cross your path, regardless of their race, belief or the colour of their skin. This is no more right, than not understanding why the video below is shared with this blog post.

Aging Ungracefully.

My neck hurts. The closer I get to being 30, the easier it seems to be, to hurt myself, without even understanding how. I have no idea how I hurt my neck. I spent most of last night tossing and turning, trying to find a position that didn't send shooting pain, up into my brain, and down my back. As a result, I'm home, taking a sick day, to enjoy the headache and radiating pain, in the privacy of my own home.
Getting older is lame. When your a kid, all you want to do is be an adult. what's the appeal? You can eat cookies whenever you want to, stay up as late as you want, and buy alcohol. But nobody tells you that your metabolism kicks out around 25, and your body rejects being awake after 10:30pm, shortly after that.
So now your in your 30's. Enjoying a michelob ultra (watching those carbs now), at 9pm before starting a 45 minute skin care routine. You fall into your bed exhausted because now you wake up at 6:30 every day, like some barn yard animal.
Half your friends have trades, so they work on shifts. 5 days on, 5 days off, etc. You and more of your friends work a regular 9-5. Others are still in school, because none of us really know what we wanted to be when we grew up.
So you can't coordinate your schedules or any disposable income to socialize, or see each other. For a lot of us, the appeal of drinking is gone once you can do it freely and legally. If your a petite body type like myself, you may realize that your really bad at alcohol, and opt to not really drink all that often. So that avenue of socializing is out.
Even if you could get everyone on the same page, everyone is so tired and plagued by social anxieties and other mental health issues that nobody wants to leave their house anyway.
Don't misunderstand me. I hated being a teenager. High school was a nightmare, and I'm very satisfied living on my own terms, in my own lifestyle. But with friends you can't see, Money you can't spend and time you can't waste, it's a sad state of affairs that is only slightly better than living in your parent's basement.
When you consider having someone else do your laundry, cooking your meals, and do your grocery shopping, it's a small wonder that any of us ever left at all. How old is too old to move back in with your parents?

What Really Matters

When my grandfather passed away I had lived through my first semester of University. 3 hours away from where I had grown up as a very sheltered, admittedly ignorant of life experience or maturity.
He was a lot of different things. he'd lived a lot of different versions of himself. Before I was born he had a problem with alcohol. when my father was a child, alcoholism was legitimately a life choice, where I'm from.
After a long time of being very unhappy, and abusing himself with alcohol, he realized how unhappy he made my grand mother and their two children, he stopped all that. Turned over a new leaf and became an entirely different version of himself. A man that I grew up with, who made jokes, and liked cartoons. Who always had candy, and some time for being silly with a child.
When I was a teenage my grand father got cancer. Sadly, there is nothing unique in that sentence. Hundreds of people, lose their loved ones to Cancer every day. It is soul crushing, to continue on filling the space in your heart left by a human being, with a handful of memories. memory is truly bittersweet in that it is always telling us that we can never go backwards.
I an a very fortunate person. My grand father went through radiation treatments. He got very very sick, and then he got better. He came home. He drove me home every single time i went for a run, stopped into his home for a glass of water, and didn't want to run home. The day he left my hometown, to come to the city, for his treatments, My Grand father smoked his last cigarette. He said, "Well that's it", and threw half a pack, into the garbage can. To this day, my grand mother swears that he never touched one again
But in 2008, after my first semester away from home, separated from my family, figuring out what was important to me, my grand father got very sick. he was gone within 72 hours. A few years before, he had undergone a hernia operation. Complications had caused him to quietly, painlessly and quickly, slip away from us.
When my grand mother brought home his clothing from the hospital, she emptied his pockets. for some reason, I took the money left there. some change, nothing bigger than a quarter.
I brought it home and put it in a black silk bag.
I never understood what it meant to me. I often wondered if it meant I was a material person. Was I a bad person, because I couldn't find any significance in anything other than money and stuff?
Today I understand what it means to me. As I clean my house on a rainy Sunday, I find my little black silk bag, behind a photograph of my younger brother. My Grandfather, My dad and my brother all share a lot of common features. so it seemed appropriate to keep family together.
Today I know why I kept the money. Not for the value, but for the symbol. The most valuable thing my grandfather has given me, is humility, awareness, and a willingness to start over.
Both literally, and metaphorically, I kept the closest thing I possible could. I kept Change.

I could very well, become an adult, soon.

So yesterday I learned what it was to be in a situation where you "Can't Even".
This was always an odd thing to me. I never understood why an inability to articulate the language you should know, "off by heart", as they say, became a thing to encourage.
But yesterday, I had such a day, that I am sure that I could not find the words to articular my frustration properly, and so I couldn't even...
Now, as unnerving as THAT was
This evening, I experienced what I understand to be "fangirling" when I tweeted something positive to Sarah Blackwood, in support of her current upset with United Airlines. Not particularly known for their caliber of customer satisfaction. way less stoked for my trip to New York this summer. But I digress.
I send a positive message with a silly video. I am such a fan of this girl. I used to love The Creepshow, a Toronto band, when she was their vocalist. I fell away from their music but I became such a giant fan of her projects and her as a person, and a women role model for people to look up to. Walk Off The Earth have some of my favorite videos on the whole internet. Their music is creative, and honest and so full of innovation that I'm considering leaving Newfoundland just to see them perform live somewhere in Canada soon.
Granted the picture of three baby goats, wearing sweaters and making precious sounds, did the majority of the work, She favorited my tweets. She retweeted my tweets. I shreked like a 4 year old, with a set of car keys dangling above my heads. Attention! from someone I admire!! Just bliss.
Is it possible that I'm slowly starting to understand how to relax and behave like a normal human being...? I'm not sure how I feel about this to be honest...

Motivate Me.

Things aren't going as well as I would have hoped.
I'm not yet in a position to advance aspects of my life to a point where I want them to be. It's getting very difficult to be positive, because I've been given a few extra obstacles in the last year. Things I can't control or stop from happening.
That's probably one of the most frustrating things you can possibly go through. To know something makes you unhappy and still have to watch it happen to you, and live through it, with no real way of recovering the loss.
Maybe that's just another reason I'm really messed up, but sometimes people are too insecure and ignorant to know any better. Sometimes people do rude things like point out mistakes or flaws in other people, to feel good about themselves. Sometimes, people are just so unable to cope with life like everyone else, that they become very self centered and don't know when they are neglecting to treat people around them the ways we all deserve. People who are so unhappy with themselves that it makes them insecure and incapable of being happy for another person. Everyone has had that one friend or roommate that was just impossible to be around sometimes. If they are having a bad day everyone around them is too. Even if your having a good day, these people will belittle you and make you feel low. It's not their fault. They can't accept your happiness as anything other than a personal insult. Their happiness is all about themselves, so you need to make sure you're not wasting your happiness on someone who is just not worth it.
Sometimes we get so invested in something (a job, a relationship, a hobby, or a project) that we're motivated to work harder toward our own goals that we forget other people don't want to hear all about us all day long.
We all have a point and time when someone should take us aside and tell us that the world does not revolve around us.
I believe that we've become a society of self reflection. We all spend so much time in our own heads going over and over conversations that happen. and things that might happen. and what we will say if someone does something to us. Probably more so than all those we spend hours in our own heads saying all the things we wished we had. We all wish we were confident, direct and secure. So maybe we should all stop worrying about everyone else's downfalls, and realize that we need to work on ourselves.

Job Prospects

So I'm newly handling the social media for the restaurant where I work. They're interacting and sharing on Twitter as @mamasoulasnl and can be reached via email at mamasoulasnl@gmail.com. admittedly a little grass roots but it's a start, and that is generally the most complicated and difficult step. I've been passively promoting them via my own personal Facebook and Twitter accounts since before Christmas and have noticed a considerable difference in consistency.
It was very nice to present my ideas with some minor results to back it up. I don't have a fancy Media Manager title just yet but I'm realizing how lucrative it is to be a little ambitious when you see an opportunity. Maybe I'll work up the nerve to ask for that after I have a few months worth of positive results to show for my efforts.
If you're on Twitter follow Mama Soula's and myself (@obviouslyADL) to keep up to date, and share info with your friends and followers. You're St. John's Friends will thank you :)

Now some ask.fm Answers

These are actual answers submitted by teens and young adults to questions on Ask.fm I believe that adding positive actions to any situation makes it better so I want to highlight some of the amazing statements given to an anonymous question.

Q. What do you think of all the haters that use Ask.fm? do you pay any attention?

*They all have their own issues they need to deal with. So they take it out on other people. It's like the popular girls at school that are mean to everyone. They're insecure and think little of themselves but come down on everyone else just so they can put themselves up on a pedestal. I on the other hand don't do that. I try to be really nice to other people

Q. If you knew someone was doing wrong and hurting someone, would you reveal their identity

*yes (3)

*Probably (5)

*of course (1)

It's good to know that somewhere out there parents are still raising and taking responsibility for good children who will grow up and be good people.

The Questions keep coming :)

All anons this week! Keep the questions and shares coming! I love it!

how do you handle creative blocks? what do you recommend to someone who feels stifled in their creative endeavors but wishes to overcome these?

I think the first thing to decide is what is stifling you in the first place. What is it that you want to say, and why can't you just say it. Everyone needs an outlet for self expression and creativity, but it's up to you to find your means of expressing yourself, in a way that makes you happy without interfering with other people. I personally don't put pressure on myself to create at all. When something inspires me to write, I express what I have to say about the topic. If someone asks me a question I will respond in the best way that I know how. You cannot force creativity. it must come from an organic desire to express oneself. Find what inspires you and express it, as long as you're not interfering with, or abusing other people in the process. Nobody's happiness is worth the suffering of another person, your personal feelings are irrelevant

If you had to live the rest of your life in a movie which one would you pick?

Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist.

How do you deal with liars?

The funny thing about liars is often they are not smart enough to not get caught. So they get caught and have to lie in the bed they made for themselves

Some New Ask.FM questions!

Asked by Anon at Ask.fm/HundredThousand
Q: See my best friend complains all day and I didn't say anything about it for a couple of years and then today and I told her to stop complaining and be more positive and she got all mad and now she won't talk to me or hangout with me and ugh :(
You should explain to your friend that you never wanted to hurt her feelings. That's probably why you didn't say anything all along. It's difficult to say something when you know it will likely hurt someone. Especially when it's your best friend and her feelings mean a lot to you. I've learned that it's only someone who really cares about you that will tell you the truth, even when you don't want to hear it, and everyone needs to check their attitude from time to time. I'm sure you two will work it out. Just talk to her. She can't stay mad forever.

Kid Rant

I'm so bloody sick and tired of people using the word Bully. I hate it. It's a scapegoat to hide behind, and a poor excuse to escape taking ownership of a lack of parenting.
I think that everything is just to easy now. I was bullied as a child. Like most people. It's a natural part of life to meet with aggression at some points and to learn how to deal with it. Kids will be kids. It's up to parents to be parents.
If your kid is being bullied on the internet, then she needs to not be on the internet. You can't control everyone that your child comes in contact. and you can let them run off on their own to fall on their face all the time. Reason would say that at some point you have to stop letting "your" iPad occupy your children, while the internet raises them and you watch dancing with the stars.
There were on computers when I was born. At some point in grade school we got one, and later on moved onto having the internet and limited internet time. the key word there LIMITED I was allowed to be on the computer for 1 hour.
There is no point in lying, I found some bad stuff on the internet. Natural curiosity is going to cause anyone to go looking for something thought to be taboo, for any number of reasons.  But I was raised actively by two parents who spent time with me. They taught me right from wrong, so when I saw an ad that was bad, seemed like a virus or was just plain lewd, I simply viewed it as a waste of time. vulgarity was always something my mother repulsed. to this day she does not swear and scolds my 27 year old self every time I curse in her presence. I suppose in a lot of ways I had it easy. There was no internet to isolate me. and when there was, my parents had a problem with it.
It bothers me to see parents handing off their cellphone or tablet and letting the child stare, poking a touchscreen the entire time they are in a restaurant.  It is not a tool to allow parents to act as though they didn't choose to become parents. It's a full-time job being a parent. It takes a lot of work. If you want a night off (as I'll be the first to say, any parent is entitled to) get a sitter and enjoy a night alone.  If you want to have family dinner leave all the electronics at home and spend a couple of hours with your kids.  Please don't let the internet raise your kids. It will make them stupid and obese and disappointments to you, and everyone else.
It's a task that I know, myself, I am not up to. I'm not cut out to be a parent at all, and I believe that if more people took that notion more seriously, and assessed if they were or were not able to raise a child properly, and took the proper intelligent, well known, correct methods to protect themselves, we wouldn't have such an over populated social service system, to be so underfunded. We can't increase budgets with money that we do not have. We have to decrease need to lighten the load on everything.

Ask.Fm inspired post.

Ask.Fm asks:
What scares you more than anything else?

I think being alone is what I am most afraid of. Not on a day to day basis. I really enjoy spending some time alone. But my biggest fear is having every relationship not work out, and ending up alone, without love. Some relationships just don't work out. Some people are just too different or need different things out of life. It isn't anyone's fault if they aren't exactly what YOU need. As much as it really sucks a lot of the time, There is nothing you can do about that except get over it and move on. But I digress. Not having a partner, to share my life with, scares me the most.

Ask.FM Traffic

Anon Question: "What advice would you give to guys who want to try and know a pretty lady intimately,mentally and physically, without coming off too aggressive, or too passive"

#HTM: First of all, Be Honest. Look at the situation objectively. Is this person in a relationship already? Do you think that they share your feelings? Do you really know them or are you just too excited about a little crush? Be mature and up front with her. She deserves to know your feelings but its not up to her to make you happy. Sometimes things work out better than you had hoped. But sometimes it doesn't work out at all the way you want, and all you can do is get over it and move on, in search of happiness for yourself.

Orange Leaves, and Hoodie Sleeves

I'm having a lot of trouble writing again. I suppose to don't really have that much to say. I've been working as much as possible and had a lovely, eventful Thanksgiving Weekend. (Canadian Thanksgiving, Obviously)

I've been working as much as possible and I'm finally seeing it pay off. I'm finally starting to get ahead, and the optimism it's given me is like being revived. For a long time I thought it was impossible to advance or get ahead. A lot of set backs had me very discouraged. But I'm getting there and it's a fantastic feeling. Making Headway. I'm starting to think that life is really all about the little things. I see retirement commercials telling me to spend my youth working all day every day so I can be rich when I'm 65 and falling apart. I don't see value in that. I think we should work hard some time and relax, play and enjoy our lives some time. I'd rather have a lifetime of memories when I'm 65. Not disposable income.
To be life is about all the stuff that happens in between. The Bar-B-Q's and Halloween parties and softball games and New Years. Life loses it's luster and excitement when you look at it like it's 75+ years. It's 39 000 000 Moments. The only determining factor is your own potential for happiness, and how you choose to remember all those moments.

This change on outlook has really helped me to keep things in prospective. This was a massive positive change that adds to my happiness and mental health.

Another exciting thing that has happened is that Friends of mine got engaged last weekend. and She asked me to be her maid of honor. I'm kind of a control freak, I really enjoy planning and organizing and designing and being very hands on in endeavors. This will be a challenge for me to not take over. But I'm very excited to do all the M.O.H. duties. I just don't really know what they are yet.

Artistic Process

I thought I missed acting.
So I decided to audition for a play. I got the part I wanted. Nothing too serious. not too much pressure. but still quite challenging for me personally.
I love the play. I love my part, but rehearsal becomes tedious at the end of the week. Actors are often very insecure people. They need a lot of praise and attention and take "creative feedback" in weird and unpredictable ways. It's unbelievably tedious to be in a room full of people so much like myself.
In a lot of ways I'm freaking awesome. But I have a lot of flaws that I don't realize, until they irritate me about somebody else. I feel as though this probably makes me an awful person but I am who I am and I can't change that. Being in a room with with a few different things you hate about yourself for 3 hours at a time is daunting. Being the target of obnoxious, ignorant ego makes it kind of worse.

I still like the play a lot. and it's nice to see some friends that I used to work with when I was involved with a lot of this stuff. But after working a long day on my feet, making few tips on $13 Breakfasts Specials*, I don't want to go to a room where I know there will be an insecure, obnoxious, attention-starved, really, really sad person. It's not an environment I would choose to be in, if not for the obligation. But I can't stop acting because of the people in that whole social deal. It's just such a shame that it's such a small scene in our city that the same people will always be around.

I feel as though I was going somewhere with all of this. Or maybe I just had to vent the frustration of a good day that got better then ending in a crappy way. It's disappointing really.

Also, non of them are fans of Seinfeld. They don't get a single hilariously well times Seinfeld reference that I make. I don't have any other really strong ways of communicating with people. So my hands are a little tied here. How can I exist in their world? Being an actor for me is like when the paralyzed soldier in Avatar, gets in the tube to be a blue thing and have a different life. Probably more like an Animorph actually. Where if I stay as an actor for too long I have to stay that way. Also if you don't know what the Animorph's are you have a lot of reading to do.

* This is not to say that I have an issue with the tippers, or the breakfast crowd. Some of my favorite regulars are brunch on Saturday and Sunday. It's just not as expensive as other meals. Most people tip on a percentage of 10%-20% of their bill. So obviously if the bill is less the tip is less.

human facepalm

I was so impressed by you.

I wanted you to think that I was funny, or smart or clever and see something in me that you wanted. I've never had any issue attracting men. Men much more successful, better looking, smarter and a hell of a lot smoother than you. So why did I need you to like me so bad? you never even treated me very well, and sex with you allowed me to make many a grocery list in my head. You made no effort because you probably didn't care if I liked you or not. You loved you enough for both of us.
The worst part I was completely crushed when you wanted to stop seeing me, saying you gave it a shot and I just was not special.
Now, looking back on all of that I feel very stupid. I wasted so much time on you. Reading your stupid, masturbatory blog, and watching you ruin stand up shows, and bomb performances, out of laziness and a spoiled, self important attitude. You want all of the things your friends and family have, without having to give any respect, care, concern or work to get them. Life simply doesn't work that way.
You were a bad boyfriend, but I'm fairly sure that is because you are a spoiled, thoughtless, self centered person. I should be able to tie this into "you can't make a ho a housewife" somehow but I just can't seem to get there right now. One of these days maybe I'll edit this.

It's hilarious to see you anywhere in public, like this morning, desperately trying to act like you don't notice anything or anyone around you, even though you had the foresight to get as far away from me as possible and hide behind a rack of motor oil. Overkill much?
Much less is the fact that I actually paid attention to you, when you talked, and I understand that you wouldn't even know what to look for in an automotive section anywhere. Yet another flaw in your lack of a personality
The worst part about being really smart (government tested and proven "gifted intelligence" thank you very much) is when you see other people who really think they are. They never seem to have the intelligence to recognize courtesy, compassion or good manners as valuable things. Like being smart entitles you to being a rude, obnoxious jackass. In actually its an abundance of ignorance makes someone so uncouth and repulsive.* Not intelligence.
For a really long I thought about you. and obsessed about what was wrong with me. The only thing wrong with me is that I didn't walk away from you sooner then you made me. I didn't love myself enough to know you were a total waste of time. But now I do, so thank you for a lesson learned the hard way.

*There is nothing less attractive than rude, ignorant behavior. Joking at someone's expense, Correcting people in front of friends, or picking fights with other people around. You're a neanderthal and it's hideous. Stop cutting down others to make up for your own shortcoming. it's very transparent and pathetic.

Show Biz for a Minute

This isn't a usual blog post for me but I think it's important for both sides to be heard.
So by now, everyone has heard that Jim Carrey had some choice words to say about his own work, and the entire production of Kick Ass 2. It seems to me that in the wake of all of the violence in schools and the horrifyingly common shooting situations that have devastated the U.S. this year, Jim Carrey didn't feel right perpetuating violence in the media. That is, at least the way I understand it to be. I could be wrong. If you care enough, just Google it. Now Chloe Grace Mortez* is saying that she doesn't agree with Carrey. In an interview with Britain's The Sun, Moretz says that while she respects Carrey's decision to snub the film, she doesn't agree with the sentiment
*Mortez plays Hit Girl, again in the sequel. She's a great actor, and I think she's probably a great hit girl but some of her habits as an actor bug me. Also her Mask looks goofy.
I find by the end of the movie, I'm sick of looking at her stupid mask. She is an absolutely stunning girl. Downright breathtaking. Grace for days (too much Seinfeld this week. apologies..)
My point is, I could easily believe that it is an attempt for Hit Girl to be taken seriously, and not as some pathetic sexual icon. I completely respect that. I really hope that is why, but you could make her mask look smart and not sexy.
Every super hero should get to look cool. It's why everyone of us would love to be a super hero. She doesn't have to be over exposed but please please let her look cool. It is such a Bad-ass character. and actually pretty well written. I really enjoyed the first movie, minus Nick Cage*. Stop wasting such an awesome character in a distracting costume. Check out the entire interview at The Sun, and see what Mortez had to say about the film and her Co star in the film. It's pretty nice to see some class and intelligence returning to Hollywood.

http://www.itsadansworld.net/2010/09/united-by-style-marvel-takes-dc-to.html

*Nick Cage. who I honestly believe to be in some early stage of dementia. or some kind of life crisis? I don't really know. but I feel as though he's losing his mind.

#indiebandproblems

I'm pretty sure that I've talked about this before (at least once) but it bears repeating. In my city there is an amazing music scene. it's diverse, and creative and there is literally something for just about everyone. I'm sure this is also the case with many more cities around the world. I find it very impressive. The thing that frustrates me about creativity is a lot of people think that it means they are entitled to praise, and special treatment and above all else, an audience.
So many Facebook posts, and tweets and passive aggressive comments circulate, all blaming the audience for not paying the money or giving the band their time and attention.

"You'll pay $20 at Starbucks, But you won't spend $5 on your local music scene. pretty cool..."

1. Yes. I will absolutely spend $20 at Starbucks because that is what I want. Delicious fancy coffee and baked goods interests me, and I like to treat my coworkers sometimes.
2. I will spend the $5 to see a band I like. Actually I will likely spend at least $50 every time I go out and support my local music scene. I go out, have some drinks, buy people drinks and tip the bartenders well, because I know our awesome time is their bullshit shift cause some bitch called in sick.

If something is happening and I want to see it, I will go out if i can afford to. Like most people I would think. I guarantee you, if people wanted to come to your shows, or see your band, or hear your music, they will. What would stop them? I don't know many people who have a problem spending money when/how they want to.

It's not fair to expect everyone in your life to be your biggest fan just because of what you choose to do. I enjoy the diversity that our music scene has to offer, but nobody ever plays music for themselves. You play for an audience. and if you don't interest anyone, you don't get an audience. that is nobodies fault but your own. You can force anyone on the planet to have a different set of interests. Your girlfriend/boyfriend/best friend/family doesn't have to love your music. It's your choice, not theres. Would you pay $5-$50 to go out and not enjoy yourself? Why do you expect other people should for you?
It's called popular music for a reason. If your music isn't getting anyones attention or any audience after so long. The problem isn't with The Scene. It's probably with whatever your doing. At the end of the day, the reality is you can love your music all you want. Make music for yourself and make it all about yourself. it's totally your call. But unless you're willing to pay cover to see yourself hundreds of times, consider it a hobby. You have no idea about any professional music career.

The Authority On Everything

So I've been having a rough week. Working a lot in a very warm restaurant. I love the summer, especially in Newfoundland. If you've never been to St. John's, NL I strongly suggest you find a week to spend here. I'm so in love with where I live. All the culture and food and nature and history. It's an amazing place. The thing about depression though is how good or bad anything is going around you has absolutely no bearing on your mental health. You could have a seemingly perfect life and be completely unhappy with yourself, and the last thing anyone should ever do, is give their two cents on someone else's situation. 

Seriously.

I'm so sick of being told what is wrong with me, or what I need to do, or having my feelings downgraded by someone ignorant enough to assume its a competition and they have to win. I'm in serious danger of punching a know it all, mouth piece, directly in said mouth, the next time one tries to tell me all about what I'm going through. The worst part is these people are so oblivious to how ignorant they're being. they seem to feel perfectly justified in assuming they know anything about someone else.
My favorite part is when they are so obviously completely full of it. A friend of mine coined this kind of person as an "Authority on Everything" and I can't think of a better description. 

My favorite is when they tell a story and blatantly make up really specific details that no person would ever tell them. It's easy to pick up on habits and patterns like this, because this person is constantly telling foolish stories and anyone (not just people with OCD like myself) can pick up on the patterns.
It's funny how much someone's language and body language change when they are lying. To me this just says that even they know they are full of it, and they are so desperate to seem genuine that they try to add credibility. It's so painfully obvious. As a general rule, if you make shit up, most intelligent adults can tell and are probably mocking you for it behind your back, if not to your face. So knock it off.

That wasn't even the point of this post, but I had to vent. If you don't think you know anyone like this. You are probably one of these people, and you are irritating everyone who has to be around you. If you were secure enough with yourself and being who you are, you wouldn't be trying so hard to prove who you were to anyone else. So come to terms with the fact that you are not as smart as you think you are, because everyone around you already knows. trust me. Your constant correcting of people and complete lack of social graces are speaking for themselves every time you insist on overpowering every conversation anyone tries to have with you.
That really turned into me being a mean girl. I don't like that. But I know a couple people who I hope read this and realize. but they probably wont.

just words. pick your favorites and express yourself.

I read somewhere that love is giving another human being the ability to completely crush you and destroy your heart. and trusting them not to. I know a lot of people struggle with saying the words. and I think it's because love means something different to everyone.
We're all such amazingly unique human beings. Nobody feels exactly the same way about their significant other as everyone else. we all appreciate and value different things, and therefore see different values in love.
It's a natural (train of) thought to expect your version of love from someone else. We all know how we express ourselves and show love. So we look for those same actions and expressions from the people we're expressing our love for.
Completely natural, but hopelessly impossible. Expectations that you have of how someone should express their feelings for you is impractical. It's only going to cause hurt feelings, tension, resentment, and communication problems which unravel a perfectly amazing relationship.
The "honeymoon" phase doesn't end independently when it feels like it. we kill it. When we try to make someone define how they feel about us, it can only be in their own words and actions. If someone is treating you by standards that you've outlined for them, you'll never trust that it's true or real.
When someone expresses THEMSELVES, in their own way, to show you what you mean to them it means more to you then any Disney movie or Sex and the City season can outrageously glamorize

I never talk about my relationship. But it's too good of an example to not use.
I love bad movies. mostly if they involve dinosaurs, or mega sharks. Mutant animals returning to Battle Mega Shark, such as Crocosaurus or Giant Octopus. Over the top, low budget, Animal Attack movies. I f**king love them. nothing on film or T.V. brings me so much hilarious enjoyment.

Yesterday boyfriend PVR'd Sharknado for me. and was super excited to show me. I know full well that this action does not say "love" to 90% of you, but just the thought is amazing. He was scrolling through channels and saw something that I would really enjoy. I was at work and wouldn't be home for hours so he made sure I didn't miss it. Knowing someone else has that kind of concern for the simple things that make you happy, and wanting so badly for you to have everything in the world.

That means more to me than any foolish Disney Prince or lavish vacation with Mr Big. Those things aren't real. What's real is having someone in your life who wants to be there and be happy with you, and even when you're completely insane (comes with the territory of owning ovaries) you argue and have really shitty times. but you get through it and you're happy again. THAT is Love to me. and it makes me happy. So what else can you ask for?

Well I don't really have any friends. That would be nice too if I got to have two things that would make me happy.

Social Calls

I can't decide if I'm behind in the times or if our society has yet to develop social expectations for new behavior. I was out with a number of friends a few nights ago. (8-10 people I would estimate) and I found it very difficult to carry out a conversation. Most people talking were limited to jokes and one liners about something on the television, or commenting on others statements. Nobody was asking anyone else questions, or making any effort to converse with each other. I'm awkward enough on my own, so I often rely on asking questions to get other people talking, while I obsess about what to say, without looking weird or silly. Social Anxiety is a real treat, let me tell you.

On this particular occasion, I noticed a great deal of something that I find to be very offensive. Everyone there was on their cellphone.
A couple people were actually taking part in the same conversation on Facebook with other people. and commenting to one another about THAT conversation, and not even talking to anyone who made an effort to be the in the same room as them.

Several people spent the entire gathering texting, to make plans with other people and actually left to go spend time with THAT person, and other people were checking Facebook, Twitter, or looking at photos. Things I do to occupy myself while bored in the doctors office or when commercials interrupt a favored television show.

Am I the only one who finds this unbelievably offensive? I would have been perfectly content to stay at home and play Skyrim all evening. It was a gathering for a Pay Per View UFC event, which I have little interest in, but I went to socialize with my friends which we rarely get to do anymore. I found myself feeling very hurt that most people there would rather be having conversations with other people who DIDN'T even make he effort to spend that time with them. I even volunteered to be the designated driver, even though I had beverages sitting in the fridge, from the night before, and drove two other people there.
I found myself sitting alone, watching a barbaric sport that I have little interest in, making comments and trying to be observant, and start a conversation, to no avail.
"the little guy really seems to have the technical advantage there"
nothing. Asking questions about sponsorship and what an MMA Fighter makes were also met with dead air more often than not.
I talked more with strangers that I wasn't even introduced to, and introduced myself. They at least asked questions and seemed to want to make small talk with me.. I would have thought that kind of appalling social etiquette would be considered taboo.
More often than not, I can look around a social group I thought I was a part of, to see everyone on their cellphones. For a long time everyone with an iPhone played games together on their phones, while sitting in the same room. I have a Blackberry and don't play games on my phone, ESPECIALLY when I'm in a room and attempting to spend time with other people. I cannot comprehend any way that this kind of thing is not thought to be rude, or disrespectful.
A friend told me that I should have left and gone to do something that was fun for me, although I know this would still have resulted in judgement upon ME, and a complete lack of consideration of their own behavior. I even went so far as to say
"Guys, there are people in this room, who made the effort to spend time with you"
multiple times, and was completely ignored. Is this just another aspect of our technological society for me to be bitter about, or poor manners?
I was told about a party where the host placed a basket by her front door for people to put their cellphones in when they enter her home. I know full well that anyone who walks into my house will ignore that, even though I would love to give it a try in the future.
I want as many opinions as possible on this. I need to understand it, even if it is me that needs to get over it and accept that this is how our society works now. What do you think?