Aging Ungracefully.

My neck hurts. The closer I get to being 30, the easier it seems to be, to hurt myself, without even understanding how. I have no idea how I hurt my neck. I spent most of last night tossing and turning, trying to find a position that didn't send shooting pain, up into my brain, and down my back. As a result, I'm home, taking a sick day, to enjoy the headache and radiating pain, in the privacy of my own home.
Getting older is lame. When your a kid, all you want to do is be an adult. what's the appeal? You can eat cookies whenever you want to, stay up as late as you want, and buy alcohol. But nobody tells you that your metabolism kicks out around 25, and your body rejects being awake after 10:30pm, shortly after that.
So now your in your 30's. Enjoying a michelob ultra (watching those carbs now), at 9pm before starting a 45 minute skin care routine. You fall into your bed exhausted because now you wake up at 6:30 every day, like some barn yard animal.
Half your friends have trades, so they work on shifts. 5 days on, 5 days off, etc. You and more of your friends work a regular 9-5. Others are still in school, because none of us really know what we wanted to be when we grew up.
So you can't coordinate your schedules or any disposable income to socialize, or see each other. For a lot of us, the appeal of drinking is gone once you can do it freely and legally. If your a petite body type like myself, you may realize that your really bad at alcohol, and opt to not really drink all that often. So that avenue of socializing is out.
Even if you could get everyone on the same page, everyone is so tired and plagued by social anxieties and other mental health issues that nobody wants to leave their house anyway.
Don't misunderstand me. I hated being a teenager. High school was a nightmare, and I'm very satisfied living on my own terms, in my own lifestyle. But with friends you can't see, Money you can't spend and time you can't waste, it's a sad state of affairs that is only slightly better than living in your parent's basement.
When you consider having someone else do your laundry, cooking your meals, and do your grocery shopping, it's a small wonder that any of us ever left at all. How old is too old to move back in with your parents?

Shopping tips for Cars, Shopping online and buying in St. John's!

I've been distracted. I bought a new car this week. Buying a new car takes a surprising amount of time, and hustling. I'm so street that it wasn't an issue but here are some tips for buying a new car

1. Don't commit to anything.
2. Be honest. Don't try to play games or have a bidding war. thats just stupid
3. When you find a car that you like, Get a print out of your estimate.
4. Do not commit to anything. Tell your salesmen that you have some research to do and you need time to think about it
5. Show your estimate to EVERYONE. I brought mine to my dad, my boyfriend and a friend who's dad is a car salesmen. All people who knew far more about buying new cars than me.
6. Tell your salesmen the truth. For me it went a lot like this. But I'm an actor and over dramatic so it was practically work-shopped first...
"Well i brought my estimate to some people who were more knowledgeable than i am, and they seemed to think it was really high. I have a problem now because I really love this car, but knowing there are more affordable ones out there, that would budget better, puts me in a tough place"

The car started out being 27, 000 paid over 7 years at 2% financing.. I paid 24, 008, over 5 years with 0% financing by the time I drove my new car home. but like I said. I'm a hustler
I also got $500 off the actual car price, and a $500 gas card from North Atlantic/Petrol Canada.

More Shopping tips! Buying online is nothing to be scared of. but no matter where you buy, big or expensive purchases can be very intimidating. Here are some general tips I've learned along the way

1. THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS KNOWING YOU DO NOT KNOW EVERYTHING!!!
The internet is an amazingly powerful tool. WHEN BUYING ANYTHING you should research the hell out of it. Use Google, use Ask.com, and any other site that has a search bar!
2. Look for Consumer reviews. Websites like Angie's List and Amazon Canada has a lot of customer reviews. If there is anywhere that passive aggressive hate will be shared. it's usually pretty clear in reviews to pick up on trends.
HOWEVER
One person complaining or giving something a bad rating doesn't mean its bad. It means that person wasn't satisfied. If you've ever worked customer service in your life you know what idiots leave a store, and go home to rant like a big man, on the internet. If you see a lot of people complaining about an issue, it may be a problem.

3. Compare brands and read labels. DO YOUR HOMEWORK.
Marketing is designed to be deceiving in some cases, for companies to remain competitive, and salespeople are paid via commission. they are working for you, so don't let them bully you. Be direct and don't be rushed into buying anything. It's their job to get you excited about your product so you cant say no. It's your job to get them excited about the sale, so they can't say no. Their time is an investment they have to make. This is coming from a salesperson. I sell life insurance and I do very well. But there are people who do a lot better, by being a lot less honest. I'm happy to take the pay cut and have integrity.

the last thing I have to share is that this salesperson, who sold me my vehicle was very very good. His name is Tom, at Hickman Motors on Kenmount Road on St. John's NL. He put me in a beautiful new Chevy Sonic with all the features I wanted and I left with a great price, for a great term and a very satisfying experience. I also have $100 Chevrolet gift cards available for anyone in the market for a new car, that you plan on buying at Hickman. Great service and amazing customer attention. I'm easy to contact, but I think I only have 3-5 tags for the giftcard!

Dirty Little Secrets

So I have a confession to make. I have to admit this is very difficult for me to share, but here goes. I love romance and gestures of affection. I don't like that I do. I'm relatively feeling-less otherwise. I often fear that on some level I'm a psychopath because I honestly have very little emotional attachment to 90% of the people around me. But when it comes to the people I do care about, I cannot do enough to show them how I feel.
 I talk to my family (mom, dad and brothers) at least 3 times a week. Unfortunately I live in a different city from all of them so It's really hard to see them more often than I do.
I also constantly try to go over and above to show boyfriends/partners what they mean to me. gifts, dates, cooking meals, back rubs, voicing my own feelings so they know what they mean to me.
Despite being mostly stone faced  I fall very hard for people. I can usually tell in the first couple of months, If I love someone, or if I'm wasting their/my time. I guess that is part of coldness that I can appreciate. I can cut ties and be over it, fairly quickly when it becomes apparent to me that, that is, in fact, the best option.
I cry a lot. like a lot. I think that it's because I keep all my feelings hidden from the general population. I don't trust most people. So because I only share my feelings/emotions with a few select people that I do trust, they all come flooding out and it's hard to control. Like flood gates I suppose. Or trying to close a fire door, to escape when like 15 Zombies are pushing on the other side and have their stupid zombie arms are all jammed in the slightly open door. stressful to say the least.
But there is nothing that makes me happier than gestures of affection. Physical contact, words spoken, cards and simple gifts that don't cost money. Something real that I can see.
I think maybe my trust issues go deeper than I realize.
Maybe I don't even trust myself, or I just can't trust believing. I have to see it, and hear it proven, to know its not going anywhere.  Which is kind of funny because I'm one of the few people I know in my age group that still hold a strong connection to my christian faith, and God. I just can't believe in people I suppose, but that shouldn't be very surprising for anyone. Humanity becomes less deserving of our faith and trust, every single day we're on the planet.
That was a bit of a rant. I had a very humbling meeting at my office today and it's causing me to reflect a lot. Now that the pity party is over, I will get back to work and stop feeling bad about myself.
Everyone needs to vent sometimes after all. If you ever need to vent, feel free to do it here. On your left. That little Ask.fm box?
<----right there!
you can tell me anything. Ask me any question you want or share any story that you think will help someone else. While I do stand by my statement that I don't have any feelings, I do have a great deal of concern for the moral fiber of our society these days, For teen girls, and everyone who has the unfortunate task of going against the grain and standing out. People who should be supported, and taught and loved. Not shunned for their individualism. Again, my personal baggage comes out here ha ha thank god growing up in a shithole with terrible people systematically killed all the feelings I had. What a mess I would be now. ha ha

Make Love and Cookies. Not War and Segregation.

<3 april

knock it off!

I have a problem with people who tell their kids or other kids that they have it easy. You have no idea what that child is going through. You're an adult, and they have to trust you.
By fantasizing a childhood full of hopscotch and chalk drawings in the middle of the street, you're telling that child that they are not strong enough. That what they have going on doesn't matter. You devalue them.  And when their self worth is decreased, the bar they set for themselves is lowered.
They aren't stupid.
Treat them like they are people. People that need your protection and support to grow up healthy and secure, and they just might surprise you. I'm not saying you should let them do what they want. Kids need boundaries and rules. But they need to feel good too. Violent Games and Adult television shows are not for kids. It's your job to protect them from those things. You're their parent, not their friend. Kids will be exposed to a million things that are far too mature for them to process or experience properly. Don't add to that pile of potential reasons your kid gets screwed up.

Papa Don't Preach

My dad and I are too much alike, to ever get along properly, like normal human beings. My dad is an old hippe. I'm a reborn hippie. So we always connect on things like music and (sure I'll say it) my deep affection for Mary Jane.
In a lot of ways we are kindred spirits, with the same hopes for the world. except everything he says (through no personal fault of his own), comes through a slightly homophobic, uneducated filter, that you can only really blame on his era in time. the way he grew up and the time he grew up in
but naturally, him being overly conservative and me being overly liberal and supportive of any and every alternative form of a happy lifestyle, causes us to butt heads a lot.
While he is a free thinking person, who believe in the power of love and music, he is very set in his ways. He is from a time when homophobia and racist jokes were not taboo. Born and raised in a community that profits on control and influence regularly, Social pressure is a vicious thing to answer too in a small community.
The things I realize these days is that I'm just like my dad. Insecure, threatened, and I believe, for my own part anyway, damaged by small town mentality, and plain ignorance, manipulating a fragile soul.
My hometown is a beautiful place that has the unfortunate luck of being run filled with very unhappy, insecure people. So threatened by everyone around them, and secretive of their lives. Nobody wants anyone to know anything about them, but that is not necessarily wrong because everyone is in each others business, in as judgmental of a way as they can possible manage. I get it. I do. It just seems so very sad. That is why people like we do the 18 years they were sentenced and get the fuck out of dodge at our earliest convenience It's a shame really. the potential that location could have were it to shed its ignorance and insecurity and attempt to move forward with the rest of humanity.