Season's Greetings. Some Simple things to keep in mind.

Season's Greetings

There seems to be some confusion. I hear people when I'm out shopping, or when at work, at a variety of places over the years, and more often than not it's proudly and loudly sworn,

“I WILL say 'Merry Christmas'!, or “Canada is a Free Country, and I can say whatever I believe, whenever I believe it”, or some variation of these declaration. Other people complain that they “have” to say 'Happy Holidays' at their job or public gathering place so as not to offend anyone, because we're all so concerned with political correctness. This may or may not be an issue with our society, that is absolutely worth looking at. I don't think it's a good excuse for claiming that your arm has been twisted, over the matter. How old do we have to get before “peer pressure” becomes legitimately unflattering?

Here is the thing, though..

If you're a Christian, or any other faith for that matter, and you want to offer kind words to another person, why not make more of an effort to be extra nice and polite at the grocery store, or saying goodbye to a particularly great server, at a restaurant.

Generally being attentive and nice for any number of reasons, are great, for spreading holiday cheer, and lightening the mood of the people in your community.

But this is where it gets tricky.

It has nothing to do with you.

You do have the right to say whatever you want. Holding your own beliefs, and having the opportunity to celebrate your beliefs, is exactly what makes Canada so amazing for everyone.

But Kindness is not about you. It's about the person your being kind too. So really your beliefs don't matter in this particular situation.

So what if you are choosing to do something kind, for someone around you, and you don't know what faith they celebrate, or how to choose your words to honour it. Isn't it simply courteous to show your kindness, along with your concern for their feelings, and your respect, by simply saying 'Have a Great Weekend!', or 'Happy Holiday's'.

How does it take away from your own personal beliefs, or devalue the way you celebrate the season, to show enough respect and humility, to be able to wish the best for anyone who might cross your path, regardless of their race, belief or the colour of their skin. This is no more right, than not understanding why the video below is shared with this blog post.

Orange Leaves, and Hoodie Sleeves

I'm having a lot of trouble writing again. I suppose to don't really have that much to say. I've been working as much as possible and had a lovely, eventful Thanksgiving Weekend. (Canadian Thanksgiving, Obviously)

I've been working as much as possible and I'm finally seeing it pay off. I'm finally starting to get ahead, and the optimism it's given me is like being revived. For a long time I thought it was impossible to advance or get ahead. A lot of set backs had me very discouraged. But I'm getting there and it's a fantastic feeling. Making Headway. I'm starting to think that life is really all about the little things. I see retirement commercials telling me to spend my youth working all day every day so I can be rich when I'm 65 and falling apart. I don't see value in that. I think we should work hard some time and relax, play and enjoy our lives some time. I'd rather have a lifetime of memories when I'm 65. Not disposable income.
To be life is about all the stuff that happens in between. The Bar-B-Q's and Halloween parties and softball games and New Years. Life loses it's luster and excitement when you look at it like it's 75+ years. It's 39 000 000 Moments. The only determining factor is your own potential for happiness, and how you choose to remember all those moments.

This change on outlook has really helped me to keep things in prospective. This was a massive positive change that adds to my happiness and mental health.

Another exciting thing that has happened is that Friends of mine got engaged last weekend. and She asked me to be her maid of honor. I'm kind of a control freak, I really enjoy planning and organizing and designing and being very hands on in endeavors. This will be a challenge for me to not take over. But I'm very excited to do all the M.O.H. duties. I just don't really know what they are yet.

a tiny amount of growth maybe

Yesterday was a very interesting day for me.
I should back up a little. I recently accepted a role in a community theatre version of August: Osage County. which I am very excited about. It's a very well written play and the director seems to really know her stuff. I'm very optimistic.

So yesterday I get an email that is CC'd to the entire cast. and I notice some names on the list I've worked with before a couple friends and people that I think are really great actors.  One of the names however is one of the most insufferable old bitches I've ever had the unfortunate luck of meeting.
Now a very short time ago, this would have ruined my entire day. Knowing that I'd have to spend a lot of my free time with people who's had a negative impact on my life. but yesterday it didn't seem to bother me so much.

So I go to work and the charming little girl who I mentioned as my Manager (From the Insurance Company, in an earlier post called Day One) For any one who won't bother to check back, I wrote to her trying to set up a meeting to return my things and resign. She wrote me back firing me on the spot, without letting me leave on my own. It was very unfair and hurtful but proved that I didn't want to be the kind of person that likes selling Life Insurance to senior citizens on fixed incomes, Or is really good at it. It takes a shitty person to do business that way. Someone who actually claimed to be dead inside with no conscience. What a gift, to be so self aware, at such a young age.

Anyway the Ice Queen comes to the counter, with her fake insurance sales smile and says
"Hey Missus! Haven't seen you in ages. You're working here now are you??"
I had to walk away to get change for a guy, but was very happy to leave before I burst into laughter The last thing she said to me was that I was fired. via text message. This class act is so simple that she can't even remember a couple of months ago.

I couldn't help but find it funny that she was legitimately pretending nothing happened and was acting as though we were old friends.

"haven't seen you in ages"
of course you haven't seen me? I tried to sit down with you and you fired me. Where would you see me?

Later the same day, I go out to eat at a new restaurant, downtown. One of the few people that I will never ever speak to again, is sitting 4 tables away staring at me, not unlike the slow-witted Goldfish, while I eat, my broccoli. Again, this would have ruined my mood a couple of years ago. But I looked up and said "well...it's just raining bitches today" and we laughed and went about our date.

Now generally a day that is just teeming with unintelligent, hurt filled people would have sent me home to cry in my bed. I've come to realize that throughout my life, females in my life have betrayed me, abused me and disregarded and disrespected me as a person. While I know it's unreasonable like everyone else, I cannot change or help my feelings.

I'm afraid of girls.

This day, however I thought it was so funny. What are the odds of three awful people in one day? I feel like that may be a little progress, however shallow of inconsequential it may be to anyone else. Other people don't affect my happiness anymore. At least they affect it a lot less.

Ask.fm: Scary Experience

What has been the scariest experience in your life?

Coming home from England, (the most amazing trip of my life), to find out that they were waiting for me to come back to have tests done for cancer. I had tests done before my trip and they came back with some questionable results over the 2 months I was gone. The worst part of the whole thing was that nobody in my family would tell me about my results. I knew nothing at all until I got off a plane, and my mom told me i had to leave university and go back to Grand Falls-Windsor where a specialist was waiting for me to do biopsies and other invasive, uncomfortable tests. I know that my family didnt want to ruin my trip. They didn't want me to be on another continent and worried about things I couldn't control. But this is something that I still struggle with because I'm the kind of person who would want to know. and they know that, and unfortunately it's something that has affected my trust with several people because.

Lucky I was and still am cancer free, and a lot of people don't get so lucky. But that was easily the scariest experience of my life.

Ask.fm

What’s wrong with the world?

I believe that the world is filled with fear and ignorance, and not enough understanding. It's nothing unnatural, just a sign of the past really, but I believe its everyone's job to overcome it. i also firmly believe that war and fighting are the worst possible ways of achieving this.We don't all have a gun. But we all have a voice, a heart and a brain, that all work to operate a mouth. Do or Do Not. There is no Try.

Ask.fm

This actually breaks my heart, but this is a real question sent to me via Ask.fm.

Why am I so ugly ?

I'm so sorry that you feel like you're ugly. I've only seen your display photo but you look like a beautiful girl. I also noticed all the hateful questions and insecure words left for you to "answer" as if you could?
I'm the last person to tell anyone to do anything. When that was a problem for me I handled it very poorly and let those people make me feel bad about myself. All you need to worry about is finding something that your good at and take pride in it. A hobby or an art form. Something that you can get really good at and you'll see that your confidence and happiness isn't affected by those people. You're the one in control of your happiness. So make your life what YOU want it to be and make the most of it.
I learned a very difficult lesson over the last few years. I realized that we're all broken. We're all insecure and hurt. and its very unfortunate that those other people think that making you feel bad will make them feel better, because it doesn't work that way
When I was in high school, I was awkward, and thin and pale. Boys thought I was weird, or someone that they could use at their own discretion Girls appeared to think I was some kind of psychological punching bag. and I didn't get what I had done. None of that has changed at all sadly. Except now I realize that I hadn't done anything. I was a proud and confident person. Outspoken and charismatic. and that intimidates people. We all resent the things that we can't have. Sadly I'm the furthest from that confident, happy person, that i have ever been in my life. But I'm getting back there. and If a mess of a human being like me can do it, I believe that anyone can

In my life right now, I'm moved into a suburb. and struggled with the idea of leaving my rustic* downtown St. John's life behind, but it is in every way an improvement. Now I completely resent this house across the street with beautiful renovations and a lovely deck/garden. I find myself standing in the window, enviously watching their hot tub get delivered, or as their new paved driveway gets finished. I think that moment made me realize I'm an adult now. Lamest.

*Rustic is a word that furniture stores use to describe, cheap, crappy or unfinished furniture.
*Read: ghetto

Birthday Present! Thank you Twisted Sister!

my birthday present from boyfriend. It's so awesome. I love it!!! He knows I love Twisted Sister Boutique

Photo Share

I just found this on my Facebook and wanted to share it. What a beautiful human being. So few left these days.

Ask.fm: "When you're in really stressful situations, what do you usually do to calm you down?"

I tend to be really good at disappearing into my own head. Taking myself out of the situation, as much as possible. daydreaming as it were. Space out and pretend your some place that you want to be.
 I just focus on breathing as slowly as possible and going somewhere quiet. Even if its to the bathroom for a few minutes to calm down. Controlling your breathing is the most important thing for sure.
Hope that helps :) I love the questions you guys are asking! Ask me a question, or share something you've learned recently! 

For all the (you just lost the) Game Of Thrones Fans out there! So stoked that this series is back!

Ask.fm: Paul McCartney said: "If slaughterhouses had glass walls, everyone would be a vegetarian." What do you think about it?

I think Paul McCartney is an uninformed jackass. I thought he made that clear a few year ago when he showed up in the wrong province to boycott the seal hunt in Newfoundland, with completely wrong information. Oh you didn't hear about that? Check it out.


Danny Williams debates the Seal Hunt with Sir Paul, and Heather Mills McCartney on CNN

knock it off!

I have a problem with people who tell their kids or other kids that they have it easy. You have no idea what that child is going through. You're an adult, and they have to trust you.
By fantasizing a childhood full of hopscotch and chalk drawings in the middle of the street, you're telling that child that they are not strong enough. That what they have going on doesn't matter. You devalue them.  And when their self worth is decreased, the bar they set for themselves is lowered.
They aren't stupid.
Treat them like they are people. People that need your protection and support to grow up healthy and secure, and they just might surprise you. I'm not saying you should let them do what they want. Kids need boundaries and rules. But they need to feel good too. Violent Games and Adult television shows are not for kids. It's your job to protect them from those things. You're their parent, not their friend. Kids will be exposed to a million things that are far too mature for them to process or experience properly. Don't add to that pile of potential reasons your kid gets screwed up.

Everything In It's Place

In a lot of ways it helps economy to have a local scene. Bars pay Bands. Bargoers like to see Cover Bands or a certain genre of music. Therefore there is a place for every person, and every genre and as long as there is an audience for your art, then you will be successful. If you do not have an audience. you need a new plan. It's just that simple. Performing music is not about yourself. You want an audience to come and enjoy your music. Doesn't that immediately make it about what THEY want to see. You can't make people like you. You can make music that they want to listen to. I don't get why this is so hard for people to understand. The perfect most ideal situation in music is making music that you love that is accepted and celebrated by other people. The more the better. But this is not the most common situation. Bands get upset when nobody comes to their shows. You're choosing to make noise that they don't want to listen to. That's what it comes down to. They don't make you listen to shit that you don't want to. You know how that whiny friend who is always negative and complaining and having a pity party. nobody likes being around that friend. So don't be that friend.

Ask.fm/hundredthousand

Question: How do you handle stress and anxiety?


well the short answer to that would be "not very well"
I've struggled with depression and anxiety for most of my life. Unbeknownst to everyone, including myself up until a few years ago. When things get overwhelming I find it best to be in a quiet place. I don't like for anyone to make physical contact with me at all so that's completely out of the question.I focus on my breathing and slowing it down as much as possible, as that is usually 90% of the problem.

First and foremost, the best thing you can ever do is talk to your doctor. or any doctor. I cannot tell you how important this is. If your having trouble sleeping, eating, or keeping focus, Stress and anxiety may be a more serious problem then you realize. Ever have a ear ache, but you ignore it instead of going to your doctor? It doesn't go away. It gets so much worse right? So you have a brain ache. TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR
Talk to your loved ones.They can probably tell that something is going on with you, and are probably worried because you're not yourself. The absolutely last thing, and the worst thing you can ever do is keep it to yourself. It will never get any better by doing that. Doing things that you know will make your loved ones worry about you is just about the most heartless, inhumane thing you could do to a person. The people that choose to be in your life are there for a reason. they care about you. they are not there to play the head squire in your quest for attention.. (Blatant steal from Nick and Norah)

The most important thing you can do is love yourself. and respect yourself. and always make sure your choices make you happy and healthy.

Deciding where to build your own ceiling

I realized recently that I want to build and design my own home. really really badly. In an earlier post I talked about wanting money and security and all of those things, and I think what really happened is that I grew up a little bit recently. I've gotten better at loving myself, and thus I decided on goals that will give me the level of comfort in my life that I deserve. At some point, that I simply cannot put my finger on, I matured, and wanted to be an adult. I stopped being scared that I was missing everything. I wanted the world for myself, and felt motivation to improve my life for nothing other than my own happiness. The hardest step you will ever have to take in any endeavor is the first one. Nothing will ever be more difficult than that. So at some point we all just have to (wo)man up and view the world (as well as ourselves), through the more life experienced adults we all become. There is no point in being upset about getting older. We all do. Want to stay looking young. Smoking and Stress are the two most common causes of aged skin. So relax. Respect everyone. Especially yourself. Be healthy and decide which path you want to be on, then just live and let live. It's the easiest way to stay young forever.

Also Ask me anything at HundredThousandMistakes and Like hindsight. on Facebook

Seriously.

So I made a horrifying discovery today.
I logged on to ask.fm to check my questions and share with some people.
I asked (anonymously) for everyone to share their best friend's best trait. and then to share the 3 things they were most proud of about themselves.
Not a single person had a single good thing to say about themselves.
Not a single thing they were proud of.
That is absolutely heartbreaking. Everyone, especially young people, NEED to have something to be proud of. We need to show the people in our lives that they are important, and that they have things going for them. I'm legitimately sad that nobody on ask.fm is proud of themselves. I truly believe that every single human being is beautiful in their own way. Everyone has something to offer that nobody else does. The only thing sadder than feeling as though you don't have anything, is seeing girls who feel that their body is the one thing that they DO have to offer.
I got a question that asked what I would like to change. I would like to change the way women view themselves. I would like to give them self respect and show them the beauty in everyone so nobody ever has to say "good qualities about myself? I dunno" that is the saddest response I've ever gotten. and I will never forget it. I am however determined to change it.

Peace Out Formspring

So as you know, Formspring is shutting down. I don't think anyone is surprised, I have, however found a great new site that will give you the same options. Ask me anything, or share any story with me. You have no idea how many people you could help just by sharing an experience. sign as "anon" if you don't want your name/info posted and I'll pick a Community Character that I think best fits you! ask.fm/HundredThousand

video killed the industry

So I have made a couple of significant changes this week. A lot is happening. My apologies for not being around.
I began my career on Monday Morning. I'm now an Independent Insurance Agent working for AIL.  Selling Life, accident and Cancer insurance, among other kinds. I'm working with people to find ways to meet their needs and provide for themselves and it feels amazing. Selling Insurance doesn't sound like it woulds be very exciting. But it sort of is. My Co Workers are amazing. My office is here in town, I work whenever I want and I have an extensive, very generous benefits program. I have picked out one of the policies that my company offers, for myself and I'm providing for my whole life, at a very affordable cost because I'm so young.
It's a very exciting position to be in, but it was in no way easy. My education began with a 21 day online program. Paid for by my employer. Which ended with a multiple choice evaluation, of 140 questions. I'm not trying to slight this exam at all. It costs $100 to do. My company also paid that for the first one, and that exam was so horrifying that I left the exam room feeling violated. I scored 54% on the $100 Free Exam. I needed 60%. I wanted to cry, but I didn't. I just went and booked the second one. paid the $100 myself, and wrote it again in two weeks.
2 days later I was at the Confederation Building having my licence processed and given to me. Tuesday and Wednesday, After some training, Jenn took me out in the field with her. We drove to Old Shop and New Harbour, meeting clients and helping them find solutions to their concerns.
People are always so relieved and relaxed after they take care of this stuff. Nobody wants to think about getting older. it's depressing, when you have so much left that you want to do. But making some arrangements now so you (or your family) don't have to in the future is one of the most affordable, important, generous things you can do for your family and loved ones.
So many people lay awake at night, with a seriously ill parent, and worries about their parents, and their own families being in this unfortunate, devastating position.
That's what it comes down to for me. I've never slept well. I can't fall asleep well, i don't stay asleep, and when I wake up I have a hard time getting back to sleep. My mind races. It's mainly the fault of an onset anxiety disorder that I possess. Jealous right?
But there are other people who go to sleep a little easier because of the work I do. Because i care and and I'm a sensitive person so I can't help but attach myself to my work a little. Maybe that is wrong. or stupid. But maybe it means that i actually care, and I have a conscience and that will make me really really good at it.

I've worked in a lot of industries that were much too rough for me. Partially because I used to think that at some point I felt I had to. That it was everyone's duty to do something that was difficult for someone other than yourself. That was being a human being, and finding another human being to love.. I still believe people owe it to the world to be kind to each other and to strive for peace and harmony. that will never change. but I didn't have to do it, like I thought I did. I think I just had to prove to myself that I could do all those things. I had to prove to myself that while I wanted a comfortable life, I didn't need one to be happy. But my goodness it helps.
Nobody ever put more pressure on me than I put on myself. In every aspect of my life. That is a flaw I will be working to fix, probably for the rest of my life. Thank God I have an amazing insurance package*.

My ideal job is based on morals, and acting in good conscience, and talking with people. It's connecting with people and adding to the value of their life. It's a lot easier to fall asleep at night knowing you made it easier for a few other people around the city to fall asleep that night. if you look hard enough. You will always find what you are looking for. You just have to make sure your looking for the right things.

*PROTIP: buy insurance when you're young. it costs pennies on the dollar (literally) and you'll never lose it. Invest in yourself, and others will too.

Always Cherish The Cabin! (Formspring Question #12)

Formspring Asked: What's a secret skill that you have?

I grew up in a small town where dad and my male (and female) family members are hunters and outdoors people. I'm small and frail, and thus not built for such things. But i have been taught to shoot both guns and bows. I'm actually a pretty good shot. although it's been a few years since I've been around them.
My dad taught me to respect the large, potentially dangerous animals, that frequent our cabin property and the tools we use to hunt them. I used to be very afraid of guns. Now i understand that because I possess the knowledge to use them safely, I can view them as tools, not weapons. That being said, I grew up with hunting rifles and a standard fiberglass bow and arrow set. Dad also dulled my arrows until i was able to actually aim/hit a target. Far cry from the semiautomatic weapons that I agree should not be legal for private ownership.
Also, and this is completely not your questions, but rather where my train of thought took me, my dad is converting his cabin, to be completely light/wind powered. It's just a project for him. He's an old hippie who possesses a fascination for science and technology. I just see a self-sufficient cabin, kept safe by an iron gate, with an artisan well and food stocks for months. When the Zombie Apocalypse hits. You can find me there.

Papa Don't Preach

My dad and I are too much alike, to ever get along properly, like normal human beings. My dad is an old hippe. I'm a reborn hippie. So we always connect on things like music and (sure I'll say it) my deep affection for Mary Jane.
In a lot of ways we are kindred spirits, with the same hopes for the world. except everything he says (through no personal fault of his own), comes through a slightly homophobic, uneducated filter, that you can only really blame on his era in time. the way he grew up and the time he grew up in
but naturally, him being overly conservative and me being overly liberal and supportive of any and every alternative form of a happy lifestyle, causes us to butt heads a lot.
While he is a free thinking person, who believe in the power of love and music, he is very set in his ways. He is from a time when homophobia and racist jokes were not taboo. Born and raised in a community that profits on control and influence regularly, Social pressure is a vicious thing to answer too in a small community.
The things I realize these days is that I'm just like my dad. Insecure, threatened, and I believe, for my own part anyway, damaged by small town mentality, and plain ignorance, manipulating a fragile soul.
My hometown is a beautiful place that has the unfortunate luck of being run filled with very unhappy, insecure people. So threatened by everyone around them, and secretive of their lives. Nobody wants anyone to know anything about them, but that is not necessarily wrong because everyone is in each others business, in as judgmental of a way as they can possible manage. I get it. I do. It just seems so very sad. That is why people like we do the 18 years they were sentenced and get the fuck out of dodge at our earliest convenience It's a shame really. the potential that location could have were it to shed its ignorance and insecurity and attempt to move forward with the rest of humanity.

Here Comes The Sun

So I went for a little adventure on Sunday, to visit some friends. I took some pictures with my Blackberry

My dream house. If this place had a two car driveway I would be hounding the owners to sell it to me.

 The camera is not the greatest but with lots of natural, strong light around it takes some pretty nice photos.

Check out the whole photo set on Facebook and Like the Hindsight Facebook Page today!

Gower Street. 

<3 April