Season's Greetings. Some Simple things to keep in mind.

Season's Greetings

There seems to be some confusion. I hear people when I'm out shopping, or when at work, at a variety of places over the years, and more often than not it's proudly and loudly sworn,

“I WILL say 'Merry Christmas'!, or “Canada is a Free Country, and I can say whatever I believe, whenever I believe it”, or some variation of these declaration. Other people complain that they “have” to say 'Happy Holidays' at their job or public gathering place so as not to offend anyone, because we're all so concerned with political correctness. This may or may not be an issue with our society, that is absolutely worth looking at. I don't think it's a good excuse for claiming that your arm has been twisted, over the matter. How old do we have to get before “peer pressure” becomes legitimately unflattering?

Here is the thing, though..

If you're a Christian, or any other faith for that matter, and you want to offer kind words to another person, why not make more of an effort to be extra nice and polite at the grocery store, or saying goodbye to a particularly great server, at a restaurant.

Generally being attentive and nice for any number of reasons, are great, for spreading holiday cheer, and lightening the mood of the people in your community.

But this is where it gets tricky.

It has nothing to do with you.

You do have the right to say whatever you want. Holding your own beliefs, and having the opportunity to celebrate your beliefs, is exactly what makes Canada so amazing for everyone.

But Kindness is not about you. It's about the person your being kind too. So really your beliefs don't matter in this particular situation.

So what if you are choosing to do something kind, for someone around you, and you don't know what faith they celebrate, or how to choose your words to honour it. Isn't it simply courteous to show your kindness, along with your concern for their feelings, and your respect, by simply saying 'Have a Great Weekend!', or 'Happy Holiday's'.

How does it take away from your own personal beliefs, or devalue the way you celebrate the season, to show enough respect and humility, to be able to wish the best for anyone who might cross your path, regardless of their race, belief or the colour of their skin. This is no more right, than not understanding why the video below is shared with this blog post.

Gossip Folk

I'd like to say that I will never understand people that need to gossip, and pass around negativity.
But I do.
Insecurity is a powerful thing. I can completely understand how someone in a position that they are not happy in, has to work so hard at cutting other people down, and doing awful things to them.
It's sad, and a little messed up.
Instead of bettering yourself, which takes actual work, and a lot of character, I do completely understand how someone with not a lot going for them, would pass on doing that work, and concentrate on bringing someone they're intimidated by, down to their level.
It's easier. and Lord knows The Worthless hate work, or taking responsibility for themselves.
Except it doesn't really work out.
When people continue to pass you by, while you stay in the same dead end space, trolling and hating, it's hard to see all the flaws in them, and not pick up on the flaws in the person with nothing going for them, continuously running their mouth, or looking for things to gossip about.
It's truly depressing that our generation has such little self worth. Maybe if they'd had a better life, or better parents, or more discipline, or even more importance put on education or character, they would chose the (obviously) more enlightened path.
Maybe they wouldn't act like worthless wastes of space, until that's all anyone thought of, at the mention of their name.
If your unhappy in your life, change it. It isn't anyone's problem but yours
If you've had a rough childhood, or someone was mean to you, get the fuck over yourself. your not special.
I would say that 95% of people have not had a perfect life. Your just like everyone else, except everyone else is smart enough, and strong enough to deal with their shit, and not let it dictate their lives. I occasionally go out to see a band I like, and it kills me, that you can walk into at least four different bars downtown, and all the same bar rats from 5 years ago are still there. I may go to a bar once or twice a month, and I see the same faces, except now they look much sadder, and weathered. Still telling me all about their new band, as if it's not exactly the same as their last shitty band that isn't going anywhere. Every. Single, Time, While most of us moved on, grew up, and got on with the progress of our lives, and I'm not talking about staff. or bar owners. clearly they would sustain a business.
I mean the people with nothing else to do, nowhere else to be, than sitting at a bar, or home on their computer, shooting shit and generally being a worthless hater.
People who watch their friends grow up, move on, find relationships, healthy routines and mature with their life, and just move on to the next slightly younger/dumber group of friends. Then they evolve past you, and you stay where you are, waiting for new people who don't know your tired, pathetic game yet.
I feel bad for these people. Clearly they are not living up to any kind of potential whatsoever, so their defensive. The thing they need to realize is, they don't have to defend themselves. Because nobody is even talking about them, People who only breed negativity, label themselves so the rest of society soon realizes they are counter productive, and forgets all about them. The only time these people get mentioned, is in the piteous tone, of understanding, and sadness that people like this exist.

Baby

Everyone self medicates.
If you've had a bad day, and you grab your favorite greasy fast food.
I love a JBC meal from Wendy's with a Large full sugar root beer, with Chili Cheese Fries. There is something very satisfying about eating something extra delicious and extra bad for you.
Who hasn't come home from a particularly disheartening shift at work and rush to a joint, a tall, neat whiskey, or a large glass of red wine.
Tons of women, and men, act like bitchy little children, at some (admittedly humiliating) moment in their life. Almost everyone has drawn on the differences of another person, and made cruel fun of them, to compensate for their own insecurities and hang ups, at the expense of another person.
That's not even to mention all the cocaine and hardcore street drugs drifting around most communities these days.
I do have to say, I believe that hard drugs would be an exponentially smaller an issue if marijuana was legalized and our Canadian Criminal Code, and Justice Systems were reformed to reflect that of a working, productive society. Nevertheless, The situation is what it is.
People still smoke cigarettes. This used to absolutely confound me, although I know understand it for what it is. The only single loophole for which service staff  are able to walk away from a service job shift for 10 minutes and breath.
I now at least appreciate how people could smoke.
I was recently told that France has way more Smokers than The U.S, but on average the people there are much healthier. They attribute the difference to Diet. With rampant obesity on the rise, it's not news that food is a drug to a lot of us, and abused actively and aggressively.
My name is April. and I'm addicted to food.
Alcohol kills foolish amounts of people between impaired drivers and personal alcohol abuse.
Even worse than that is how many legally obtained Prescription Drugs are abused by either their intended, or an unintended user, every single day in Canada.
How many people standing at that Methadone Clinic, you look down your nose at, as you drive to work, are in line because at , they got they hurt, and saw a lazy doctor who was too willing to write a prescription to a hard working good person.
Everyone has pain that they are dealing with. or not dealing with.
This bears repeating.
Every single person has known pain.
If you were bullied, or had less than perfect parents. If you had a toxic, dishonest, self destructive relationship, that left you very insecure. If you struggle with Depression, Anxiety, Loss, Fear or Pain of any kind, it is very unfortunate that you went through that.
Getting through pain, is not an easy thing to do.
You, however, are not special.
Everyone goes through struggles, it's on you to work through it and get over it, or let it ruin your life.
Why does self destruction feel so good?
Why do we all do it.
Everyone gets to make the choices in their life, whether they are good choices that improve it, or bad choices that make their lives unnecessarily difficult.
Who could blame anyone for wanting a break from that to feel good about ourselves?
We all find ways to feel good. Especially when we don't.
So who, but the utterly arrogant, who would assume that it is their business to judge another person for the way they find, to feel good?
It's said that People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones
I just Don't think you should ever under estimate the force of the wind you're throwing them into.

Aging Ungracefully.

My neck hurts. The closer I get to being 30, the easier it seems to be, to hurt myself, without even understanding how. I have no idea how I hurt my neck. I spent most of last night tossing and turning, trying to find a position that didn't send shooting pain, up into my brain, and down my back. As a result, I'm home, taking a sick day, to enjoy the headache and radiating pain, in the privacy of my own home.
Getting older is lame. When your a kid, all you want to do is be an adult. what's the appeal? You can eat cookies whenever you want to, stay up as late as you want, and buy alcohol. But nobody tells you that your metabolism kicks out around 25, and your body rejects being awake after 10:30pm, shortly after that.
So now your in your 30's. Enjoying a michelob ultra (watching those carbs now), at 9pm before starting a 45 minute skin care routine. You fall into your bed exhausted because now you wake up at 6:30 every day, like some barn yard animal.
Half your friends have trades, so they work on shifts. 5 days on, 5 days off, etc. You and more of your friends work a regular 9-5. Others are still in school, because none of us really know what we wanted to be when we grew up.
So you can't coordinate your schedules or any disposable income to socialize, or see each other. For a lot of us, the appeal of drinking is gone once you can do it freely and legally. If your a petite body type like myself, you may realize that your really bad at alcohol, and opt to not really drink all that often. So that avenue of socializing is out.
Even if you could get everyone on the same page, everyone is so tired and plagued by social anxieties and other mental health issues that nobody wants to leave their house anyway.
Don't misunderstand me. I hated being a teenager. High school was a nightmare, and I'm very satisfied living on my own terms, in my own lifestyle. But with friends you can't see, Money you can't spend and time you can't waste, it's a sad state of affairs that is only slightly better than living in your parent's basement.
When you consider having someone else do your laundry, cooking your meals, and do your grocery shopping, it's a small wonder that any of us ever left at all. How old is too old to move back in with your parents?

Less Time Online. More Time in Real Life.

I've been away from this for a little bit of time. I'd like to say that I missed it but I've hardly even noticed that I wasn't writing. I've been wondering why I started this, in the first place. What need it was meeting for me to bother to do it. I don't enjoy social media.

I really dislike Facebook, and keep Twitter for local news and support for local business and networking. I don't use any other social media. I don't use Instagram, SnapChat, Pintrest, or even Facebook Messenger. I'm sure there are far more social media outlets that are very popular, I just can't think of any off the top of my head. The Internet is now a very overwhelming place to exist.

So why do I need this pathetic little place to voice my opinions, where (between few and zero) people can read them and understand me? I'm still at a loss for why if anyone reads any of the things I say, despite views and exposure referenced in my "Blogger Insights", but it's protected risk taking. 

Like calling some guy out, from behind your large, violent friend, I may as well be shouting from inside a panic room, in space.

To argue on the internet seems to be such a tiny victory for one's self esteem, or shots taken at an already fragile ego. 

Many would have to agree that the ability to feel good about yourself, and confidently live your life on your own terms is important thing for everyone to have, however getting behind a computer screen, with a spell check, and the whole internet to make you look like an expert, we all get too brave.

A lot of people hold such specific and rigid views and ideals (NOT THAT THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT!) that their emotions are tied very closely to things they care about. When things we care about are threatened, we all go into fight or flight mode.

The internet strips debate down to its BORING bare bones.

All you have are words and punctuation. 

Despite all the feelings you put into what you say, The thoughts and metaphors and carefully chosen words and language, internet lacks the ability to display voice, eye contact, gestures, tone of the voice, speaking the words your reading on a computer screen. It's just data. without all the tools of language, you may as well be reading and processing binary code.

What is even worse than our choices for a method of debate, is the fact that despite the intention of someone communicating all of that to us, we fail to read it as the person we are talking to. 

We read it in our own offended, sometimes too defensive voice. When we're arguing with another faceless humanoid, that we  have no emotional connection to, our responsibilities to think before we speak, and show have respect for one another are gone because this relationship is fleeting. its not a person you have any investment in, or something that is in our life. 

Arguing with the people in our lives is more difficult. what if they leave? What if you hurt their feelings, and cant take it back? what if you change this relationship, forever? we do a lot more thinking before we speak, when we care about the words we use.

If we all got off the internet and resumed living in real life, we would see the world a lot differently and our interactions with each other would be much more positive and productive. 

I feel like our society being so vain, and insecure has a lot to do with our new antisocial internet lifestyle. I can't decide which one I think is the metaphorical Chicken and which one is The Egg. 

I don't know why I continue to contribute to this blog and the lifestyle I'm criticizing. I do know, that I am in no way perfect. Aren't we all really just looking for other people to connect with? I don't believe that people want to fight. I believe people want to be understood. They want to be validated, and secure that their version of happiness isn't being threatened. To find others like us to share a version of happiness with. SO shouldn't we all get off the internet and take a more hands on approach to our happiness?

Job Prospects

So I'm newly handling the social media for the restaurant where I work. They're interacting and sharing on Twitter as @mamasoulasnl and can be reached via email at mamasoulasnl@gmail.com. admittedly a little grass roots but it's a start, and that is generally the most complicated and difficult step. I've been passively promoting them via my own personal Facebook and Twitter accounts since before Christmas and have noticed a considerable difference in consistency.
It was very nice to present my ideas with some minor results to back it up. I don't have a fancy Media Manager title just yet but I'm realizing how lucrative it is to be a little ambitious when you see an opportunity. Maybe I'll work up the nerve to ask for that after I have a few months worth of positive results to show for my efforts.
If you're on Twitter follow Mama Soula's and myself (@obviouslyADL) to keep up to date, and share info with your friends and followers. You're St. John's Friends will thank you :)

50 shades of rage

I am so infuriated by the society I live in sometimes. women in my society seem to think it's ok to objectify men like they are pieces of meat and then complain about over sexualized women in the media.
People who are so insecure that they worry their partner will be looking elsewhere. It's not about equality for them. It's about ego. How can you possibly hump the furniture over the guy from Republic Of Doyle, then get offended at anyone doing the exact same thing, and keep a straight face?
But you're suppose to be mad about the inequality of it all. Not happy that you get to do it too? There's a select type of person who refers to themselves as a feminist. Except they have no idea what their fighting for. They just need the conflict and excitement in their lives to be happy. These people

This situation gets even worse. Everyone has access to everyone else. Everyone can use Twitter, Facebook, Instagram. The anonymity makes people too bold, and forgetful that the entire world is watching and judging them.There are ridiculous people all over the internet. I picture it looking like a zombie horde just roaming the country side in the wake of the Apocalypse, casually hunting. A friend of my boyfriend's once tweeted "The simple fact you "can" is not meant to be a sign that you "should"." I'm paraphrasing of course, but I thought he had made a very good point. That kind of moral censorship seems to be void in our society.

But media outlets such as Radio and Television Stations and  are egging them on. (99.1)HitsFM posted a photo of an over-sexualized, shirtless Alan Hawco, on their Facebook page, and asked fans if they had any questions for him to answer while he would be in their studio. The comments are horrifying to say the least. about half of them are shamelessly throwing themselves at him in the most desperate, pathetic ways.  I'm not saying the man isn't good looking or people should like him. I happen to think he's a pretty good actor and the couple of times I've met him and his lovely wife, they are downright sweet people.
 I just think the media should have a responsibility in the kind of behavior they reward, target, and incite. This was irresponsible and inappropriate for a company that wants to be taken seriously and respected for it's content. You get what you give. and if you're shoveling trash out,  you've got to expect to get some back.

Show Biz for a Minute

This isn't a usual blog post for me but I think it's important for both sides to be heard.
So by now, everyone has heard that Jim Carrey had some choice words to say about his own work, and the entire production of Kick Ass 2. It seems to me that in the wake of all of the violence in schools and the horrifyingly common shooting situations that have devastated the U.S. this year, Jim Carrey didn't feel right perpetuating violence in the media. That is, at least the way I understand it to be. I could be wrong. If you care enough, just Google it. Now Chloe Grace Mortez* is saying that she doesn't agree with Carrey. In an interview with Britain's The Sun, Moretz says that while she respects Carrey's decision to snub the film, she doesn't agree with the sentiment
*Mortez plays Hit Girl, again in the sequel. She's a great actor, and I think she's probably a great hit girl but some of her habits as an actor bug me. Also her Mask looks goofy.
I find by the end of the movie, I'm sick of looking at her stupid mask. She is an absolutely stunning girl. Downright breathtaking. Grace for days (too much Seinfeld this week. apologies..)
My point is, I could easily believe that it is an attempt for Hit Girl to be taken seriously, and not as some pathetic sexual icon. I completely respect that. I really hope that is why, but you could make her mask look smart and not sexy.
Every super hero should get to look cool. It's why everyone of us would love to be a super hero. She doesn't have to be over exposed but please please let her look cool. It is such a Bad-ass character. and actually pretty well written. I really enjoyed the first movie, minus Nick Cage*. Stop wasting such an awesome character in a distracting costume. Check out the entire interview at The Sun, and see what Mortez had to say about the film and her Co star in the film. It's pretty nice to see some class and intelligence returning to Hollywood.

http://www.itsadansworld.net/2010/09/united-by-style-marvel-takes-dc-to.html

*Nick Cage. who I honestly believe to be in some early stage of dementia. or some kind of life crisis? I don't really know. but I feel as though he's losing his mind.

#indiebandproblems

I'm pretty sure that I've talked about this before (at least once) but it bears repeating. In my city there is an amazing music scene. it's diverse, and creative and there is literally something for just about everyone. I'm sure this is also the case with many more cities around the world. I find it very impressive. The thing that frustrates me about creativity is a lot of people think that it means they are entitled to praise, and special treatment and above all else, an audience.
So many Facebook posts, and tweets and passive aggressive comments circulate, all blaming the audience for not paying the money or giving the band their time and attention.

"You'll pay $20 at Starbucks, But you won't spend $5 on your local music scene. pretty cool..."

1. Yes. I will absolutely spend $20 at Starbucks because that is what I want. Delicious fancy coffee and baked goods interests me, and I like to treat my coworkers sometimes.
2. I will spend the $5 to see a band I like. Actually I will likely spend at least $50 every time I go out and support my local music scene. I go out, have some drinks, buy people drinks and tip the bartenders well, because I know our awesome time is their bullshit shift cause some bitch called in sick.

If something is happening and I want to see it, I will go out if i can afford to. Like most people I would think. I guarantee you, if people wanted to come to your shows, or see your band, or hear your music, they will. What would stop them? I don't know many people who have a problem spending money when/how they want to.

It's not fair to expect everyone in your life to be your biggest fan just because of what you choose to do. I enjoy the diversity that our music scene has to offer, but nobody ever plays music for themselves. You play for an audience. and if you don't interest anyone, you don't get an audience. that is nobodies fault but your own. You can force anyone on the planet to have a different set of interests. Your girlfriend/boyfriend/best friend/family doesn't have to love your music. It's your choice, not theres. Would you pay $5-$50 to go out and not enjoy yourself? Why do you expect other people should for you?
It's called popular music for a reason. If your music isn't getting anyones attention or any audience after so long. The problem isn't with The Scene. It's probably with whatever your doing. At the end of the day, the reality is you can love your music all you want. Make music for yourself and make it all about yourself. it's totally your call. But unless you're willing to pay cover to see yourself hundreds of times, consider it a hobby. You have no idea about any professional music career.

Photo Find!

So something finally grabbed my attention to share with everyone. A letter written by a homeowner, to Home Depot Canada in regards to their business practices.

You can find this photo at the link provided by clicking on the photo! Give Chris a like and a share! Canada is getting fed up and we're strong enough to take our country back. Chris is helping to start what I think will be an inevitable revolution in our society. Hopefully it works out for Stephen Harper like it did for Charles I in England

Ask.fm BOOK!

Can you recommend anything to read?

Yes!!! reading plays is getting to be a big hobby again. despite how much I hate it when I was in Theatre school. All the major plays by Anton Chekov, Like The Seagull, The Cherry Orchard, and Uncle Vanya are fantastic. I also have a serious guilty pleasure in the Dan Brown books. Angels and Demons, The Da Vinci Code, Digital Fortress, and Deception Point. Seven Plays by Same Shepard, as well as anything by Eugene O'neill. I also own all of these among tons more books if you life in my area/know me and want to borrow one

Drug of Choice

So I have this new job. and I really love it.
I guess the issue I'm struggling with, is that I know I could be working nonstop, and making a lot of money. But I'm not interested in doing that right now. I'm interested in making ends meet and being able to live a little more comfortably, while saving up for a down payment on a home.
If I make enough sales in a week, I get a bonus. and more consistently you "bonus" you go from 5% of your alp sales, to 10% to 15% which is the maximum bonus. You then get 15%for every week that you continue to bonus. The equivalent to 2 decent sales is what you need to bonus. this is not difficult to do.
I guess I just feel that if I'm making my bonus, then I'm meeting the production goals they expect of me. If they are rewarding me for my sales and I'm making very good money, I'm lead to believe they are happy with my performance.
I love that this job allows me to be at home, and writing on my blog at 11 am on a Friday  enjoying a coffee and doing some light paperwork (also par for the course with an independent sales job.)
So if this is where I want to be right now, why do I have to leave it so quickly? I've been working 2 or more jobs for the last 5 years. We always tell kids to enjoy it while they're young because being an adult is no fun. So if I'm happy where I am right now, what is wrong with that? Why can't I just enjoy a little vacation in my busy life? isn't that the guilt we always put on kids? Enjoy your childhood and stop trying to advance! Slow down and appreciate the things you have. Why are you in such a hurry to grow up?!
If I'm currently comfortable and happy why do I want to kill myself working nonstop? that's not a life. That is planning for your kids to have a comfortable life.

"Not that there is anything wrong with that!" 

To each their own and if your happy, I will always be happy for you. But I don't want to have children. Life is too short to live it for other people, in my humble opinion. So that isn't exactly something that is a priority for me to plan for. So is it a crime to take the easy road for a little while? it will still take me to the same place. and this way I'm really enjoying the ride :)