Less Time Online. More Time in Real Life.

I've been away from this for a little bit of time. I'd like to say that I missed it but I've hardly even noticed that I wasn't writing. I've been wondering why I started this, in the first place. What need it was meeting for me to bother to do it. I don't enjoy social media.

I really dislike Facebook, and keep Twitter for local news and support for local business and networking. I don't use any other social media. I don't use Instagram, SnapChat, Pintrest, or even Facebook Messenger. I'm sure there are far more social media outlets that are very popular, I just can't think of any off the top of my head. The Internet is now a very overwhelming place to exist.

So why do I need this pathetic little place to voice my opinions, where (between few and zero) people can read them and understand me? I'm still at a loss for why if anyone reads any of the things I say, despite views and exposure referenced in my "Blogger Insights", but it's protected risk taking. 

Like calling some guy out, from behind your large, violent friend, I may as well be shouting from inside a panic room, in space.

To argue on the internet seems to be such a tiny victory for one's self esteem, or shots taken at an already fragile ego. 

Many would have to agree that the ability to feel good about yourself, and confidently live your life on your own terms is important thing for everyone to have, however getting behind a computer screen, with a spell check, and the whole internet to make you look like an expert, we all get too brave.

A lot of people hold such specific and rigid views and ideals (NOT THAT THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT!) that their emotions are tied very closely to things they care about. When things we care about are threatened, we all go into fight or flight mode.

The internet strips debate down to its BORING bare bones.

All you have are words and punctuation. 

Despite all the feelings you put into what you say, The thoughts and metaphors and carefully chosen words and language, internet lacks the ability to display voice, eye contact, gestures, tone of the voice, speaking the words your reading on a computer screen. It's just data. without all the tools of language, you may as well be reading and processing binary code.

What is even worse than our choices for a method of debate, is the fact that despite the intention of someone communicating all of that to us, we fail to read it as the person we are talking to. 

We read it in our own offended, sometimes too defensive voice. When we're arguing with another faceless humanoid, that we  have no emotional connection to, our responsibilities to think before we speak, and show have respect for one another are gone because this relationship is fleeting. its not a person you have any investment in, or something that is in our life. 

Arguing with the people in our lives is more difficult. what if they leave? What if you hurt their feelings, and cant take it back? what if you change this relationship, forever? we do a lot more thinking before we speak, when we care about the words we use.

If we all got off the internet and resumed living in real life, we would see the world a lot differently and our interactions with each other would be much more positive and productive. 

I feel like our society being so vain, and insecure has a lot to do with our new antisocial internet lifestyle. I can't decide which one I think is the metaphorical Chicken and which one is The Egg. 

I don't know why I continue to contribute to this blog and the lifestyle I'm criticizing. I do know, that I am in no way perfect. Aren't we all really just looking for other people to connect with? I don't believe that people want to fight. I believe people want to be understood. They want to be validated, and secure that their version of happiness isn't being threatened. To find others like us to share a version of happiness with. SO shouldn't we all get off the internet and take a more hands on approach to our happiness?

I could very well, become an adult, soon.

So yesterday I learned what it was to be in a situation where you "Can't Even".
This was always an odd thing to me. I never understood why an inability to articulate the language you should know, "off by heart", as they say, became a thing to encourage.
But yesterday, I had such a day, that I am sure that I could not find the words to articular my frustration properly, and so I couldn't even...
Now, as unnerving as THAT was
This evening, I experienced what I understand to be "fangirling" when I tweeted something positive to Sarah Blackwood, in support of her current upset with United Airlines. Not particularly known for their caliber of customer satisfaction. way less stoked for my trip to New York this summer. But I digress.
I send a positive message with a silly video. I am such a fan of this girl. I used to love The Creepshow, a Toronto band, when she was their vocalist. I fell away from their music but I became such a giant fan of her projects and her as a person, and a women role model for people to look up to. Walk Off The Earth have some of my favorite videos on the whole internet. Their music is creative, and honest and so full of innovation that I'm considering leaving Newfoundland just to see them perform live somewhere in Canada soon.
Granted the picture of three baby goats, wearing sweaters and making precious sounds, did the majority of the work, She favorited my tweets. She retweeted my tweets. I shreked like a 4 year old, with a set of car keys dangling above my heads. Attention! from someone I admire!! Just bliss.
Is it possible that I'm slowly starting to understand how to relax and behave like a normal human being...? I'm not sure how I feel about this to be honest...

Job Prospects

So I'm newly handling the social media for the restaurant where I work. They're interacting and sharing on Twitter as @mamasoulasnl and can be reached via email at mamasoulasnl@gmail.com. admittedly a little grass roots but it's a start, and that is generally the most complicated and difficult step. I've been passively promoting them via my own personal Facebook and Twitter accounts since before Christmas and have noticed a considerable difference in consistency.
It was very nice to present my ideas with some minor results to back it up. I don't have a fancy Media Manager title just yet but I'm realizing how lucrative it is to be a little ambitious when you see an opportunity. Maybe I'll work up the nerve to ask for that after I have a few months worth of positive results to show for my efforts.
If you're on Twitter follow Mama Soula's and myself (@obviouslyADL) to keep up to date, and share info with your friends and followers. You're St. John's Friends will thank you :)

Show Biz for a Minute

This isn't a usual blog post for me but I think it's important for both sides to be heard.
So by now, everyone has heard that Jim Carrey had some choice words to say about his own work, and the entire production of Kick Ass 2. It seems to me that in the wake of all of the violence in schools and the horrifyingly common shooting situations that have devastated the U.S. this year, Jim Carrey didn't feel right perpetuating violence in the media. That is, at least the way I understand it to be. I could be wrong. If you care enough, just Google it. Now Chloe Grace Mortez* is saying that she doesn't agree with Carrey. In an interview with Britain's The Sun, Moretz says that while she respects Carrey's decision to snub the film, she doesn't agree with the sentiment
*Mortez plays Hit Girl, again in the sequel. She's a great actor, and I think she's probably a great hit girl but some of her habits as an actor bug me. Also her Mask looks goofy.
I find by the end of the movie, I'm sick of looking at her stupid mask. She is an absolutely stunning girl. Downright breathtaking. Grace for days (too much Seinfeld this week. apologies..)
My point is, I could easily believe that it is an attempt for Hit Girl to be taken seriously, and not as some pathetic sexual icon. I completely respect that. I really hope that is why, but you could make her mask look smart and not sexy.
Every super hero should get to look cool. It's why everyone of us would love to be a super hero. She doesn't have to be over exposed but please please let her look cool. It is such a Bad-ass character. and actually pretty well written. I really enjoyed the first movie, minus Nick Cage*. Stop wasting such an awesome character in a distracting costume. Check out the entire interview at The Sun, and see what Mortez had to say about the film and her Co star in the film. It's pretty nice to see some class and intelligence returning to Hollywood.

http://www.itsadansworld.net/2010/09/united-by-style-marvel-takes-dc-to.html

*Nick Cage. who I honestly believe to be in some early stage of dementia. or some kind of life crisis? I don't really know. but I feel as though he's losing his mind.

job hunt revival

So after a couple of weeks of working 4 hour shifts and wasting a lot of my time. The health food store tells me that I'm not a good fit and they wont be asking me to work any more shifts. I'm a lovely person though. Lovely enough to pay me little to nothing and waste my time, while bills pile up and debts increase. I guess the lesson I should be learning from this is "people who treat others that way with such little regard on not people I want to work for. She also emailed me at 6pm on a Sunday. Professional I know. Not even enough regard to have a phone call about it. I know I should be happy that they made their treatment of people clear before I was committed to that place, and they probably did me a favor. but right now I'm just upset and being a girl about it for a day. I'm at a total loss for what I did wrong. I loved it there. I loved helping customers and my favorite thing to do to pass the time was to put away all the stock so my pregnant boss didn't have to. I still have no idea what I did wrong. I was 20 minutes early most days. parked in the parking lot waiting for the owner to get there. One day I was late because Bagel Cafe tool a long time to bring us our food/bill. and I called her right away and apologized profusely and it was the only time I've ever been anything other than early.

Now the job hunt continues. The bills aren't going anywhere. I really loved my last bar tending job. but a difficult manager made it a less than good situation. I wish I could go back there. the staff there were my friends and I liked them

Talking bout my generation

The generation just a few years ahead of mine was pushed into professional careers. They were inspired to excel and learn and become doctors, lawyers, and teachers. Because that is what our society needed at that time. Nurses and Therapists, professionals the rest of us could rely on and They met that need and then some. I have good friends in all of these professions that I'm so proud of and value greatly when I need their advice or services.
My generation is somehow caught in the middle of an economic shift.
When we were in junior/highschool we were told that you weren't going to get anywhere in life without a university degree. The world needed professionals, but nobody was taking into consideration how many they were producing. So we all skipped off to university getting our BAs and planning to be teachers and lawyers.

4 years later the same people that guided us toward university changed their tune. Now those same voices were saying
"why did you waste that time? you need a trade if your going to make anything of yourself. Here...Have ANOTHER loan from the government. We won't give you enough to live on, but we'll pay for the tuition and allow you to live a stress filled life where ends rarely meet and you'll get to lie awake at night worrying about your bills."

So while you're in trade school, you still have to work your shitty low level job to pay your bills. because your not 18 years old anymore and you don't live with your parents, and you don't get to start over. Our lot was to make the best of a bad situation, fall further into debt and have our credit ruined by promises and plans that were never meant to work out for us.

We're a generation lost in the middle. People younger than me, came out of high school, went right into the trades and make loot. We're the experimental generation. coming up through school my class was always the one who tested the "pilot programs"
Few of them were a success, most fell on their faces, leaving us no further ahead than we were before. I feel that being the test subject generation leaves us at a disadvantage in life. At least lab rats are still, at the end of the day, taken care of by the guessing idiots who test on them.

Day One

So after I posted this morning about my revelation, I got a call from a manager at my office. I explained myself and said that I wasn't happy and outlined that it had nothing to do with the actual job and I had no complaints. Her response was that she and the head of the office had a meeting and that they had decided to terminate me, and to return my keys. it really makes no difference in the end, as I was unhappy and leaving anyhow. If nothing else it only proves that I was completely right to go with my gut and my happiness on that one.

at 9am I had an interview, I got half way through the application and read an area that they wanted me to sign. it stated that the company could have access to any and all of my information. medical, personal information, credit checks, (random drug testing was also mandatory) and what have you. This made me kind of uncomfortable. it probably is standard in a lot of fields but it wasn't something I was comfortable with. Later down the paragraph it stated that the company wold have permission to share my information with any and all of their affiliates, for any reason and at any point. it was at this point that i returned the application to the manager overseeing the application process, and let her know why i wasn't comfortable and thanked her for the opportunity.

at 3 pm I had another interview. it went as well as it could have, and I'm really hoping that I get the job. it seems to meet all the needs that I have, and could be something that I could really contribute to. Plus a salary and benefits is nothing to sneeze at.

now I have to wait the weekend to hear. this is the worst part. weekends when no business takes place. :/

Admittedly A Mess.

I have a problem.
I really really want chest tattoos.
An idea I've had for a really long time in reference to my favorite book/play. and the first play I ever acted in with a substantial role.. But I'm worried that when I have to play in grown up life (I work in the life insurance industry, face to face with clients), i wont be able to hide them sufficiently under my clothing.
Then for a moment, I begin to resent that them being there would be a problem. It's 2013 people, am I just being paranoid about how it would be viewed in the grown up community?

I know this is far from the most important problem going on in the world right now. But you must give me credit, in that it is an issue none the less. To be perfectly honest, I generally have no issue covering up or dressing appropriately, I don't consider it offensive. I chose to get the tattoos I have. I wasn't born with them. People judge each other based on the choices they make every day. Surely I couldn't possibly think that I can make a loud, bold statement, on purpose, and in return only receive praises, along with complimentary feedback, and that nobody to judge it. What breed of spoiled self-centered primitive screw-head could possibly be of that state of mind?*
But yes back to my issue. Chest tattoos in the professional world. I don't know what to do.  Either way I'm too new at my job,  to attempt to make a big change, a la 1980's shoulder pad wearing women's movies. Though it would be really bad ass. I think I would probably leave out the shoulder pads. Unless they made me look like a robot. Either way, I would have a dope costume.

 *I know you can't see it but there's a coy/cheeky expression to go along with all this wonderful satire.

Yeah I'll be the first to admit that this really got away from me at a lot of points. I blame The Office. I keep getting distracted so the different thoughts don't flow together. Yeah I think that's it.

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