Speaking Greek

I've failed on the blog front pretty bad. Boyfriend is out of the province and I promised myself I would make use of the time alone to change some things that I want to. I've put a lot of time into work and its really paying off. I've been eating really well, and getting a mild amount of exercise and as a result, I am feeling pretty great too.
I guess I find it easier to writing, when I'm unhappy. Complaining comes more naturally to me I guess.
Not that, that makes me any different, I'm sure it's a general humanity kind of thing.
I'm thinking of trying to learn Greek with Rosetta Stone. I work in a Greek restaurant for Greek people. If that weren't enough of a reason to learn a new language, Boyfriend and I are planning a trip to Greece in the near future. Just seems like something that will make my life easier in the future.

Ask.fm

What’s wrong with the world?

I believe that the world is filled with fear and ignorance, and not enough understanding. It's nothing unnatural, just a sign of the past really, but I believe its everyone's job to overcome it. i also firmly believe that war and fighting are the worst possible ways of achieving this.We don't all have a gun. But we all have a voice, a heart and a brain, that all work to operate a mouth. Do or Do Not. There is no Try.

Confessions of a Drama Queen

Moving is a fate I would not wish on my worst enemy. While I was studying theatre, I moved my entire life to a different town of this province more than 19 times, and one trip back and forth to England. Afterwards I went on to allow poor decisions made about Defunct relationships, to move me  into and out of 3 different houses in St. John's. and Today I had to do I again.
I hate it. It's such a huge endeavor that I can't start anywhere. It makes me sleepy and stressed out just to think about it. It's overwhelming. I spend so much time trying to help people*, but this is one of the few things that is still able to virtually paralyze me. I can't seem to get my head around it at all. Now THAT is adding to my moving stress. Stressing about why I get so stressed about moving. To paraphase one of my most loved television characters of all time. "For I am April. Lord of the Broken People"

*I choose to view life as a road, that we all travel down, at different speeds and times, and sometimes we hit a pothole and it fucked up our car and we learn a difficult lesson. So if we can't manage to warn someone behind us about a pothole, than we are miserable human beings who don't deserve the beautiful planet that we have.

Shopping tips for Cars, Shopping online and buying in St. John's!

I've been distracted. I bought a new car this week. Buying a new car takes a surprising amount of time, and hustling. I'm so street that it wasn't an issue but here are some tips for buying a new car

1. Don't commit to anything.
2. Be honest. Don't try to play games or have a bidding war. thats just stupid
3. When you find a car that you like, Get a print out of your estimate.
4. Do not commit to anything. Tell your salesmen that you have some research to do and you need time to think about it
5. Show your estimate to EVERYONE. I brought mine to my dad, my boyfriend and a friend who's dad is a car salesmen. All people who knew far more about buying new cars than me.
6. Tell your salesmen the truth. For me it went a lot like this. But I'm an actor and over dramatic so it was practically work-shopped first...
"Well i brought my estimate to some people who were more knowledgeable than i am, and they seemed to think it was really high. I have a problem now because I really love this car, but knowing there are more affordable ones out there, that would budget better, puts me in a tough place"

The car started out being 27, 000 paid over 7 years at 2% financing.. I paid 24, 008, over 5 years with 0% financing by the time I drove my new car home. but like I said. I'm a hustler
I also got $500 off the actual car price, and a $500 gas card from North Atlantic/Petrol Canada.

More Shopping tips! Buying online is nothing to be scared of. but no matter where you buy, big or expensive purchases can be very intimidating. Here are some general tips I've learned along the way

1. THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS KNOWING YOU DO NOT KNOW EVERYTHING!!!
The internet is an amazingly powerful tool. WHEN BUYING ANYTHING you should research the hell out of it. Use Google, use Ask.com, and any other site that has a search bar!
2. Look for Consumer reviews. Websites like Angie's List and Amazon Canada has a lot of customer reviews. If there is anywhere that passive aggressive hate will be shared. it's usually pretty clear in reviews to pick up on trends.
HOWEVER
One person complaining or giving something a bad rating doesn't mean its bad. It means that person wasn't satisfied. If you've ever worked customer service in your life you know what idiots leave a store, and go home to rant like a big man, on the internet. If you see a lot of people complaining about an issue, it may be a problem.

3. Compare brands and read labels. DO YOUR HOMEWORK.
Marketing is designed to be deceiving in some cases, for companies to remain competitive, and salespeople are paid via commission. they are working for you, so don't let them bully you. Be direct and don't be rushed into buying anything. It's their job to get you excited about your product so you cant say no. It's your job to get them excited about the sale, so they can't say no. Their time is an investment they have to make. This is coming from a salesperson. I sell life insurance and I do very well. But there are people who do a lot better, by being a lot less honest. I'm happy to take the pay cut and have integrity.

the last thing I have to share is that this salesperson, who sold me my vehicle was very very good. His name is Tom, at Hickman Motors on Kenmount Road on St. John's NL. He put me in a beautiful new Chevy Sonic with all the features I wanted and I left with a great price, for a great term and a very satisfying experience. I also have $100 Chevrolet gift cards available for anyone in the market for a new car, that you plan on buying at Hickman. Great service and amazing customer attention. I'm easy to contact, but I think I only have 3-5 tags for the giftcard!

Actual hindsight.

Is it more important to readjust your goals for a once in a lifetime experience? Or should the initial goal be reassessed once we find a place in life that is a surprise comfort zone.
A relationship, or a job, or a group of friends that brings you happiness are very valuable things to some people. but not to others. How do you give each other what you need and do the things that your partner needs to make them happy, instinctively, when your instincts are completely different from your loved ones.
I have to admit I found myself in a relationship like this. I've never met an Abed who was so completely opposite to myself. He gave the impression of being vain and slow, which I don't fully understand because now that I know 500% more about him then I did back in those early times, I see the things that gave me that impression, and now that I understand them better, I realize that the last things you could ever use to describe him is egotistical or ignorant.
I found him unbelievably attractive. Truth be told I had known who he was for a really long time. We had met at Noisy Nan"s (a popular jam space, a few years back, tons of people always jamming and hanging out. It was fantastic.) and I was all fluttery and embarrassed  Cause I'm me. and that's nothing like being a normal person with a working brain. Anyway this was months before we were ever a couple. I quickly found out that he had a girlfriend. I was a little crushed. But moved on to date someone, I thought I could fix. Thank God I got out of that. Better late then never I suppose.
But I digress. I realize now that being someone with so much emotional need was just as frustrating as being someone with little emotional needs. Abed and I were so different. So we had to spend more time in the other person's shoes then our own, just to connect. The hardest part about communicating differently, and showing your affection and love is different ways is knowing what your partner appreciates, and what they don't recognize as signs of affection. Try to speak someone else's language, before you expect them to speak yours. Try to understand your loved ones
I think the key is not to find what makes you happy. It's to find the person that has all the qualities you love. and if you want to make them happy, maybe you get lucky and that person wants to spend their time making you happy as well. It takes some people a long time to find that person. Some people find it once in a lifetime. If you have found love in your life, you're a very lucky person, so cherish your loved ones. You're lucky to have them.

"Life is only as good as the memories we make"

Make Way for Queen Bambi!

So I wanted to take a few minutes to talk about a new business in St. John's/online. A friend of mine has started Queen Bambi Boutique. This shop is essentially me in a nutshell. Pretty flower and cute animal accessories and Zombie Apocalypse goodness. I've reserved my copy of The Rise Of The General, A fantastic addition to The Walking Dead comic book series, for those who are fans of the comics or television show.
Queen Bambi is a modern day collage of things. I love these kind of shops because you simply never know what you are going to find there. Original pieces that your friends will covet, and you will love showing off.
The other thing I love about Queen Bambi, is the tons of gift ideas. If I see something and I don't immediately want it for myself, it;s because i know it will make an amazing gift to perfectly suit a friend or lovde ones personality or individual style. Serious Check out this shop! and Like them on Facebook today!

CHECK OUT QUEEN BAMBI BOUTIQUE RIGHT NOW!! 
quantities are limited and this is your opportunity to score original pieces your friends (and strangers) will wish they found first!!

Mine! but if you hurry you can secure a copy too!!

Lots of really awesome things for lots of different people. Ahh diversity. what a beautiful thing :)

Deciding where to build your own ceiling

I realized recently that I want to build and design my own home. really really badly. In an earlier post I talked about wanting money and security and all of those things, and I think what really happened is that I grew up a little bit recently. I've gotten better at loving myself, and thus I decided on goals that will give me the level of comfort in my life that I deserve. At some point, that I simply cannot put my finger on, I matured, and wanted to be an adult. I stopped being scared that I was missing everything. I wanted the world for myself, and felt motivation to improve my life for nothing other than my own happiness. The hardest step you will ever have to take in any endeavor is the first one. Nothing will ever be more difficult than that. So at some point we all just have to (wo)man up and view the world (as well as ourselves), through the more life experienced adults we all become. There is no point in being upset about getting older. We all do. Want to stay looking young. Smoking and Stress are the two most common causes of aged skin. So relax. Respect everyone. Especially yourself. Be healthy and decide which path you want to be on, then just live and let live. It's the easiest way to stay young forever.

Also Ask me anything at HundredThousandMistakes and Like hindsight. on Facebook

Jersey Bore

Entertainment has become too foolish, for me to not write about it.
Maybe it can be attributed to our love of pushing boundaries and progressing, on some level, but we lost the wheels on that excuse 20 years ago.
I am sure someone wants to quote some stupid newspaper about Elvis being risque, and how we progress as a species, but we've allowed shows like Jersey Shore and Honey Boo Boo to get on television and experience wild success. That's not progress, and we should be ashamed of ourselves. This is the only post that makes me want to curse. Thinking about this gets me all "fired up" as a dbag on Big Brother Canada would say

I don't get what his problem is. Settle down Alberta. guys like you always leave BB half way through. They run out of steam and blow up on some mom/sensitive person. Fucks their whole game. So chill. it's not about ratings, Alberta.

This has to be said (and shared hint!hint!)

Jersey Shore
If you actually enjoy this show, you may have brain damage. If you relate to the characters, or the situations, or anything that anyone says on this "program", you may qualify as mentally retarded. Whats worse is people who enjoyed watching those poor, useless puppets, in a way that they think is ironic and clever.
Newsflash ya douche bag.
If you weren't threatened by people in your life, you wouldn't be so insecure to need to compare yourself to anyone else. You're dumber and worse off that the morons that enjoy the program. Because if you were as smart as you believe you are, you wouldn't have any need to look down your nose at anyone. So (Wo)man up and make the improvements that you need to be happy in your own life, you're not better than anyone and that attitude make you a loser.

Always Cherish The Cabin! (Formspring Question #12)

Formspring Asked: What's a secret skill that you have?

I grew up in a small town where dad and my male (and female) family members are hunters and outdoors people. I'm small and frail, and thus not built for such things. But i have been taught to shoot both guns and bows. I'm actually a pretty good shot. although it's been a few years since I've been around them.
My dad taught me to respect the large, potentially dangerous animals, that frequent our cabin property and the tools we use to hunt them. I used to be very afraid of guns. Now i understand that because I possess the knowledge to use them safely, I can view them as tools, not weapons. That being said, I grew up with hunting rifles and a standard fiberglass bow and arrow set. Dad also dulled my arrows until i was able to actually aim/hit a target. Far cry from the semiautomatic weapons that I agree should not be legal for private ownership.
Also, and this is completely not your questions, but rather where my train of thought took me, my dad is converting his cabin, to be completely light/wind powered. It's just a project for him. He's an old hippie who possesses a fascination for science and technology. I just see a self-sufficient cabin, kept safe by an iron gate, with an artisan well and food stocks for months. When the Zombie Apocalypse hits. You can find me there.

Formspring Question #8

Formspring asked:
Has your behaviour with the opposite sex led to situations which make you anxious?

No. but the behaviour of certain people (of both sexes) has certainly done its part to make me an anxious person. Lies, Deceit, and Mistreat all leave permanent scars on people. even if you cant see them. When you leave any kind of a scar on someone they never forget you. but not in a good way. The better someone gets to know you, the better they see you. It's up to you what kind of person you want to be. Nobody can hide who they really are for very long.

Here Comes The Sun

So I went for a little adventure on Sunday, to visit some friends. I took some pictures with my Blackberry

My dream house. If this place had a two car driveway I would be hounding the owners to sell it to me.

 The camera is not the greatest but with lots of natural, strong light around it takes some pretty nice photos.

Check out the whole photo set on Facebook and Like the Hindsight Facebook Page today!

Gower Street. 

<3 April

Stitches (Pt.1)

Pierce.
He cheated on me with my friend after she had spent a couple weeks flirting with him behind my back. In later years, I learned that he had said some awful things about deflowering me. He never ever got the opportunity, just for the record. He did get the chance to do some gardening with my friend though. But that is a sad story, really. and I'm getting off topic...
My point is. I still think about that. I have a will to mistrust, and look for evidence now, and im realizing with my chatting with Annie, that event in my life was something that Was never ever confronted. Nobody ever apologized, or explained. The worst part of it all is 90% of my friends, just all starting hanging out with them. I was the only excluded from the whole thing. That is a feeling, that I, to this day would not wish on my worst enemy.
A feeling of being devalued, and humiliated. My hometown is a small place. one high school. everyone in town, in my age group, knew him. and by proxy, I suppose, they thought they knew me. I'm not trying to say they owe me anything. A few years back he messaged me on facebook and apologized for it all*. But scars are scars. lots of them leave a mark on you for a long time. A few never leave you, and you're forced to have them forever. Sometimes they are an accident. A lesson learned. Sometimes they are self inflicted.
I realized something that I had lost sight of. Today I was finally ready to let go of some things, and to be happy, and to trust. I think everyone goes through a mourning period
sometimes for a loved one who is no longer with us.
Some for the relationship that you want to work so badly but it just won't.
Some for the loss of trust, and security that comes from an infidelity, by a partner or friend.
I think that, the mourning period is different for everyone, and maybe even every situation. This is perhaps why relationships are so much work.

Live for the Weekend

My partner has an 8:30am-4pm office job, that I am so unbelievably jealous of. I'm not sure if he's aware of that or not. Don't you remember as a child how you went to school Monday to Friday and you enjoyed your weekend a million times more? Life doesn't lose it's magic as we get older. We just stop appreciating it I think, and I think it's because the rules were different. bedtimes were pushed back, You got to watch television  with the grown ups, or stay up while friends got together for drinks and kitchen parties filled with jokes and songs and neighborhood gossip. and Mondays were filled with stories of your weekend, not grief at getting up early.
Somewhere along the way Friday lost it's excitement. With the majority of my generation choosing to socialize in establishments that serve alcohol , and the introduction of the weekday bar specials, the weekend now takes place whenever we have a  day off, not on the once coveted Friday and Saturday nights. The weekend is no longer special. A partial factor has got to be a generational thing. I believe that a lot less of my generation (mid to late 20's) value, what is considered a "9 to 5 Job".I think most of us get to a certain age where it becomes a desire. I know I (at age 26) am currently working my ass off to achieve a job at which I make my own schedule and hours. Working all week is made that much sweeter by those two days of celebration. There is never anything new, exciting or unusual to do anymore because we do whatever we want, whenever we want to do it. Maybe we're just lacking the discipline of our parents generation. That makes sense as they, lack the discipline of their parents. So they started it. We just need to stop.

Home for the Holidays

Tonight began with a discussion about how crazy my grandma is and possible solutions where she would be happy with people of similar lunacy. That, however, is a topic for my book deal in ten years, after I spiral out of control and live exclusively on Hoof Prints, and go into rehab. You can go to rehab for anything now. Did you know that?
So we were talking about how old my Grandma and Grandpa were when they got married, and my dad told me that my Grandmother and her sisters all came to Windsor to work in their early 20's.

I guess that is what you did then. Like how everyone moves to St. John's to bartend and wait tables, with theatre degrees and folkfore B.A's hanging on our parents walls as if they were real and being utilized. But they aren't because we took far more from the experiences of that time, rather than the curriculum we paid for. An entire generation of 20somethings who were told they had no future without a college education, only to be told 5 years later, to Go Back to the Start, with our mountains of debt, and get a trade, if we wanted a career. Does that seem like really brilliant and underhanded advertising to anyone else? I don't know if this is necessarily the less travelled path. I'd hazzard to guess it is far more traveled than that the road that leads you to becoming an engineer or medical professional. I think maybe Im trying to say that, everyone has their own path, and nobody else can tell you where to go. you have to do it yourself or it won't make you happy.

Anyway he realized at that moment that he has no idea how my grandparents met.

I do love Hoof Prints. I wouldn't be staging it like the shit we watch now.