My neck hurts. The closer I get to being 30, the easier it seems to be, to hurt myself, without even understanding how. I have no idea how I hurt my neck. I spent most of last night tossing and turning, trying to find a position that didn't send shooting pain, up into my brain, and down my back. As a result, I'm home, taking a sick day, to enjoy the headache and radiating pain, in the privacy of my own home.
Getting older is lame. When your a kid, all you want to do is be an adult. what's the appeal? You can eat cookies whenever you want to, stay up as late as you want, and buy alcohol. But nobody tells you that your metabolism kicks out around 25, and your body rejects being awake after 10:30pm, shortly after that.
So now your in your 30's. Enjoying a michelob ultra (watching those carbs now), at 9pm before starting a 45 minute skin care routine. You fall into your bed exhausted because now you wake up at 6:30 every day, like some barn yard animal.
Half your friends have trades, so they work on shifts. 5 days on, 5 days off, etc. You and more of your friends work a regular 9-5. Others are still in school, because none of us really know what we wanted to be when we grew up.
So you can't coordinate your schedules or any disposable income to socialize, or see each other. For a lot of us, the appeal of drinking is gone once you can do it freely and legally. If your a petite body type like myself, you may realize that your really bad at alcohol, and opt to not really drink all that often. So that avenue of socializing is out.
Even if you could get everyone on the same page, everyone is so tired and plagued by social anxieties and other mental health issues that nobody wants to leave their house anyway.
Don't misunderstand me. I hated being a teenager. High school was a nightmare, and I'm very satisfied living on my own terms, in my own lifestyle. But with friends you can't see, Money you can't spend and time you can't waste, it's a sad state of affairs that is only slightly better than living in your parent's basement.
When you consider having someone else do your laundry, cooking your meals, and do your grocery shopping, it's a small wonder that any of us ever left at all. How old is too old to move back in with your parents?
Showing posts with label Home. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Home. Show all posts
Tuesday, 8 September 2015
Thursday, 27 February 2014
Speaking Greek
I've failed on the blog front pretty bad. Boyfriend is out of the province and I promised myself I would make use of the time alone to change some things that I want to. I've put a lot of time into work and its really paying off. I've been eating really well, and getting a mild amount of exercise and as a result, I am feeling pretty great too.
I guess I find it easier to writing, when I'm unhappy. Complaining comes more naturally to me I guess.
Not that, that makes me any different, I'm sure it's a general humanity kind of thing.
I'm thinking of trying to learn Greek with Rosetta Stone. I work in a Greek restaurant for Greek people. If that weren't enough of a reason to learn a new language, Boyfriend and I are planning a trip to Greece in the near future. Just seems like something that will make my life easier in the future.
I guess I find it easier to writing, when I'm unhappy. Complaining comes more naturally to me I guess.
Not that, that makes me any different, I'm sure it's a general humanity kind of thing.
I'm thinking of trying to learn Greek with Rosetta Stone. I work in a Greek restaurant for Greek people. If that weren't enough of a reason to learn a new language, Boyfriend and I are planning a trip to Greece in the near future. Just seems like something that will make my life easier in the future.
Wednesday, 29 January 2014
Job Prospects
So I'm newly handling the social media for the restaurant where I work. They're interacting and sharing on Twitter as @mamasoulasnl and can be reached via email at mamasoulasnl@gmail.com. admittedly a little grass roots but it's a start, and that is generally the most complicated and difficult step. I've been passively promoting them via my own personal Facebook and Twitter accounts since before Christmas and have noticed a considerable difference in consistency.
It was very nice to present my ideas with some minor results to back it up. I don't have a fancy Media Manager title just yet but I'm realizing how lucrative it is to be a little ambitious when you see an opportunity. Maybe I'll work up the nerve to ask for that after I have a few months worth of positive results to show for my efforts.
If you're on Twitter follow Mama Soula's and myself (@obviouslyADL) to keep up to date, and share info with your friends and followers. You're St. John's Friends will thank you :)
It was very nice to present my ideas with some minor results to back it up. I don't have a fancy Media Manager title just yet but I'm realizing how lucrative it is to be a little ambitious when you see an opportunity. Maybe I'll work up the nerve to ask for that after I have a few months worth of positive results to show for my efforts.
If you're on Twitter follow Mama Soula's and myself (@obviouslyADL) to keep up to date, and share info with your friends and followers. You're St. John's Friends will thank you :)
Sunday, 15 December 2013
The Questions keep coming :)
All anons this week! Keep the questions and shares coming! I love it!
how do you handle creative blocks? what do you recommend to someone who feels stifled in their creative endeavors but wishes to overcome these?
I think the first thing to decide is what is stifling you in the first place. What is it that you want to say, and why can't you just say it. Everyone needs an outlet for self expression and creativity, but it's up to you to find your means of expressing yourself, in a way that makes you happy without interfering with other people. I personally don't put pressure on myself to create at all. When something inspires me to write, I express what I have to say about the topic. If someone asks me a question I will respond in the best way that I know how. You cannot force creativity. it must come from an organic desire to express oneself. Find what inspires you and express it, as long as you're not interfering with, or abusing other people in the process. Nobody's happiness is worth the suffering of another person, your personal feelings are irrelevantIf you had to live the rest of your life in a movie which one would you pick?
How do you deal with liars?
The funny thing about liars is often they are not smart enough to not get caught. So they get caught and have to lie in the bed they made for themselvesTuesday, 16 July 2013
The littlest birds sing the prettiest songs
That was a super lame attempt at a clever title.
I was writing a post about my twitter and how you guys should follow me. But the danger with smoking pot is what it does to your attention span. and appetite :s
But I digress (it's to be expected really) My focus shifted to the song I quoted in the Title. An absolutely perfect song by a band called The Be Good Tanyas.
The first time I heard it was in the opening credits of an artistically optimistic independent film. I Claudia was brought to my theatre class during our "One Man Show" studies. Self reliance and interacting only with an audience. It would have been more aptly titled as "you need to love yourself way too much for anyone else to matter to you at all"
But Charlie Thomlinson was a guest professor. A truly brilliant person that I have huge amounts of respect for. That was my third year of theatre school I believe. Easily the happiest time of my entire life. In hindsight I really feel as though I let him down. I wasn't committed to being an artist. I had no integrity. I'm favirly sure it was apparent to him back then. Wish he'd clued me in. He just kept trying to teach me. The one with no emotions or feelings at all. bahaha... theatre school. It's only now that I can look back on that part of my life with fond memories. It takes a really long time to get past your own mistakes something. Charlie has this amazing Dog named Luca. She was the smartest animal I've ever seen. I miss walking Luca.
Again with the digression. I told you to anticipate some of this, in all fairness. If I ever learn to do it right, I'll be able to get back on track without you even realizing I'd made the error in the first place. but not today.
The Littlest Birds by The Be Good Tanyas makes me feel the same way that I felt back when I found it. My third year at Grenfell, pursuing a. idealistic (read: disillusion) career path. But it's a truly lovely song so here it is. Click on that little picture to see the youtube video and look them up on iTunes 000Oh right...yeah, If you're on Twitter follow me @TheWonderWords
I was writing a post about my twitter and how you guys should follow me. But the danger with smoking pot is what it does to your attention span. and appetite :s
But I digress (it's to be expected really) My focus shifted to the song I quoted in the Title. An absolutely perfect song by a band called The Be Good Tanyas.
The first time I heard it was in the opening credits of an artistically optimistic independent film. I Claudia was brought to my theatre class during our "One Man Show" studies. Self reliance and interacting only with an audience. It would have been more aptly titled as "you need to love yourself way too much for anyone else to matter to you at all"
But Charlie Thomlinson was a guest professor. A truly brilliant person that I have huge amounts of respect for. That was my third year of theatre school I believe. Easily the happiest time of my entire life. In hindsight I really feel as though I let him down. I wasn't committed to being an artist. I had no integrity. I'm favirly sure it was apparent to him back then. Wish he'd clued me in. He just kept trying to teach me. The one with no emotions or feelings at all. bahaha... theatre school. It's only now that I can look back on that part of my life with fond memories. It takes a really long time to get past your own mistakes something. Charlie has this amazing Dog named Luca. She was the smartest animal I've ever seen. I miss walking Luca.
Again with the digression. I told you to anticipate some of this, in all fairness. If I ever learn to do it right, I'll be able to get back on track without you even realizing I'd made the error in the first place. but not today.
Friday, 17 May 2013
Ask.fm
This actually breaks my heart, but this is a real question sent to me via Ask.fm.
Why am I so ugly ?
I'm so sorry that you feel like you're ugly. I've only seen your display photo but you look like a beautiful girl. I also noticed all the hateful questions and insecure words left for you to "answer" as if you could?
I'm the last person to tell anyone to do anything. When that was a problem for me I handled it very poorly and let those people make me feel bad about myself. All you need to worry about is finding something that your good at and take pride in it. A hobby or an art form. Something that you can get really good at and you'll see that your confidence and happiness isn't affected by those people. You're the one in control of your happiness. So make your life what YOU want it to be and make the most of it.
I learned a very difficult lesson over the last few years. I realized that we're all broken. We're all insecure and hurt. and its very unfortunate that those other people think that making you feel bad will make them feel better, because it doesn't work that way
When I was in high school, I was awkward, and thin and pale. Boys thought I was weird, or someone that they could use at their own discretion Girls appeared to think I was some kind of psychological punching bag. and I didn't get what I had done. None of that has changed at all sadly. Except now I realize that I hadn't done anything. I was a proud and confident person. Outspoken and charismatic. and that intimidates people. We all resent the things that we can't have. Sadly I'm the furthest from that confident, happy person, that i have ever been in my life. But I'm getting back there. and If a mess of a human being like me can do it, I believe that anyone can
In my life right now, I'm moved into a suburb. and struggled with the idea of leaving my rustic* downtown St. John's life behind, but it is in every way an improvement. Now I completely resent this house across the street with beautiful renovations and a lovely deck/garden. I find myself standing in the window, enviously watching their hot tub get delivered, or as their new paved driveway gets finished. I think that moment made me realize I'm an adult now. Lamest.
*Rustic is a word that furniture stores use to describe, cheap, crappy or unfinished furniture.
*Read: ghetto
Why am I so ugly ?
I'm so sorry that you feel like you're ugly. I've only seen your display photo but you look like a beautiful girl. I also noticed all the hateful questions and insecure words left for you to "answer" as if you could?
I'm the last person to tell anyone to do anything. When that was a problem for me I handled it very poorly and let those people make me feel bad about myself. All you need to worry about is finding something that your good at and take pride in it. A hobby or an art form. Something that you can get really good at and you'll see that your confidence and happiness isn't affected by those people. You're the one in control of your happiness. So make your life what YOU want it to be and make the most of it.
I learned a very difficult lesson over the last few years. I realized that we're all broken. We're all insecure and hurt. and its very unfortunate that those other people think that making you feel bad will make them feel better, because it doesn't work that way
When I was in high school, I was awkward, and thin and pale. Boys thought I was weird, or someone that they could use at their own discretion Girls appeared to think I was some kind of psychological punching bag. and I didn't get what I had done. None of that has changed at all sadly. Except now I realize that I hadn't done anything. I was a proud and confident person. Outspoken and charismatic. and that intimidates people. We all resent the things that we can't have. Sadly I'm the furthest from that confident, happy person, that i have ever been in my life. But I'm getting back there. and If a mess of a human being like me can do it, I believe that anyone can
In my life right now, I'm moved into a suburb. and struggled with the idea of leaving my rustic* downtown St. John's life behind, but it is in every way an improvement. Now I completely resent this house across the street with beautiful renovations and a lovely deck/garden. I find myself standing in the window, enviously watching their hot tub get delivered, or as their new paved driveway gets finished. I think that moment made me realize I'm an adult now. Lamest.
*Rustic is a word that furniture stores use to describe, cheap, crappy or unfinished furniture.
*Read: ghetto
Sunday, 21 April 2013
Shopping tips for Cars, Shopping online and buying in St. John's!
I've been distracted. I bought a new car this week. Buying a new car takes a surprising amount of time, and hustling. I'm so street that it wasn't an issue but here are some tips for buying a new car
1. Don't commit to anything.
2. Be honest. Don't try to play games or have a bidding war. thats just stupid
3. When you find a car that you like, Get a print out of your estimate.
4. Do not commit to anything. Tell your salesmen that you have some research to do and you need time to think about it
5. Show your estimate to EVERYONE. I brought mine to my dad, my boyfriend and a friend who's dad is a car salesmen. All people who knew far more about buying new cars than me.
6. Tell your salesmen the truth. For me it went a lot like this. But I'm an actor and over dramatic so it was practically work-shopped first...
"Well i brought my estimate to some people who were more knowledgeable than i am, and they seemed to think it was really high. I have a problem now because I really love this car, but knowing there are more affordable ones out there, that would budget better, puts me in a tough place"
The car started out being 27, 000 paid over 7 years at 2% financing.. I paid 24, 008, over 5 years with 0% financing by the time I drove my new car home. but like I said. I'm a hustler
I also got $500 off the actual car price, and a $500 gas card from North Atlantic/Petrol Canada.
More Shopping tips! Buying online is nothing to be scared of. but no matter where you buy, big or expensive purchases can be very intimidating. Here are some general tips I've learned along the way
1. THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS KNOWING YOU DO NOT KNOW EVERYTHING!!!
The internet is an amazingly powerful tool. WHEN BUYING ANYTHING you should research the hell out of it. Use Google, use Ask.com, and any other site that has a search bar!
2. Look for Consumer reviews. Websites like Angie's List and Amazon Canada has a lot of customer reviews. If there is anywhere that passive aggressive hate will be shared. it's usually pretty clear in reviews to pick up on trends.
HOWEVER
One person complaining or giving something a bad rating doesn't mean its bad. It means that person wasn't satisfied. If you've ever worked customer service in your life you know what idiots leave a store, and go home to rant like a big man, on the internet. If you see a lot of people complaining about an issue, it may be a problem.
3. Compare brands and read labels. DO YOUR HOMEWORK.
Marketing is designed to be deceiving in some cases, for companies to remain competitive, and salespeople are paid via commission. they are working for you, so don't let them bully you. Be direct and don't be rushed into buying anything. It's their job to get you excited about your product so you cant say no. It's your job to get them excited about the sale, so they can't say no. Their time is an investment they have to make. This is coming from a salesperson. I sell life insurance and I do very well. But there are people who do a lot better, by being a lot less honest. I'm happy to take the pay cut and have integrity.
the last thing I have to share is that this salesperson, who sold me my vehicle was very very good. His name is Tom, at Hickman Motors on Kenmount Road on St. John's NL. He put me in a beautiful new Chevy Sonic with all the features I wanted and I left with a great price, for a great term and a very satisfying experience. I also have $100 Chevrolet gift cards available for anyone in the market for a new car, that you plan on buying at Hickman. Great service and amazing customer attention. I'm easy to contact, but I think I only have 3-5 tags for the giftcard!
1. Don't commit to anything.
2. Be honest. Don't try to play games or have a bidding war. thats just stupid
3. When you find a car that you like, Get a print out of your estimate.
4. Do not commit to anything. Tell your salesmen that you have some research to do and you need time to think about it
5. Show your estimate to EVERYONE. I brought mine to my dad, my boyfriend and a friend who's dad is a car salesmen. All people who knew far more about buying new cars than me.
6. Tell your salesmen the truth. For me it went a lot like this. But I'm an actor and over dramatic so it was practically work-shopped first...
"Well i brought my estimate to some people who were more knowledgeable than i am, and they seemed to think it was really high. I have a problem now because I really love this car, but knowing there are more affordable ones out there, that would budget better, puts me in a tough place"
The car started out being 27, 000 paid over 7 years at 2% financing.. I paid 24, 008, over 5 years with 0% financing by the time I drove my new car home. but like I said. I'm a hustler
I also got $500 off the actual car price, and a $500 gas card from North Atlantic/Petrol Canada.
More Shopping tips! Buying online is nothing to be scared of. but no matter where you buy, big or expensive purchases can be very intimidating. Here are some general tips I've learned along the way
1. THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS KNOWING YOU DO NOT KNOW EVERYTHING!!!
The internet is an amazingly powerful tool. WHEN BUYING ANYTHING you should research the hell out of it. Use Google, use Ask.com, and any other site that has a search bar!
2. Look for Consumer reviews. Websites like Angie's List and Amazon Canada has a lot of customer reviews. If there is anywhere that passive aggressive hate will be shared. it's usually pretty clear in reviews to pick up on trends.
HOWEVER
One person complaining or giving something a bad rating doesn't mean its bad. It means that person wasn't satisfied. If you've ever worked customer service in your life you know what idiots leave a store, and go home to rant like a big man, on the internet. If you see a lot of people complaining about an issue, it may be a problem.
3. Compare brands and read labels. DO YOUR HOMEWORK.
Marketing is designed to be deceiving in some cases, for companies to remain competitive, and salespeople are paid via commission. they are working for you, so don't let them bully you. Be direct and don't be rushed into buying anything. It's their job to get you excited about your product so you cant say no. It's your job to get them excited about the sale, so they can't say no. Their time is an investment they have to make. This is coming from a salesperson. I sell life insurance and I do very well. But there are people who do a lot better, by being a lot less honest. I'm happy to take the pay cut and have integrity.
the last thing I have to share is that this salesperson, who sold me my vehicle was very very good. His name is Tom, at Hickman Motors on Kenmount Road on St. John's NL. He put me in a beautiful new Chevy Sonic with all the features I wanted and I left with a great price, for a great term and a very satisfying experience. I also have $100 Chevrolet gift cards available for anyone in the market for a new car, that you plan on buying at Hickman. Great service and amazing customer attention. I'm easy to contact, but I think I only have 3-5 tags for the giftcard!
Tuesday, 9 April 2013
Dirty Little Secrets
So I have a confession to make. I have to admit this is very difficult for me to share, but here goes. I love romance and gestures of affection. I don't like that I do. I'm relatively feeling-less otherwise. I often fear that on some level I'm a psychopath because I honestly have very little emotional attachment to 90% of the people around me. But when it comes to the people I do care about, I cannot do enough to show them how I feel.
I talk to my family (mom, dad and brothers) at least 3 times a week. Unfortunately I live in a different city from all of them so It's really hard to see them more often than I do.
I also constantly try to go over and above to show boyfriends/partners what they mean to me. gifts, dates, cooking meals, back rubs, voicing my own feelings so they know what they mean to me.
Despite being mostly stone faced I fall very hard for people. I can usually tell in the first couple of months, If I love someone, or if I'm wasting their/my time. I guess that is part of coldness that I can appreciate. I can cut ties and be over it, fairly quickly when it becomes apparent to me that, that is, in fact, the best option.
I cry a lot. like a lot. I think that it's because I keep all my feelings hidden from the general population. I don't trust most people. So because I only share my feelings/emotions with a few select people that I do trust, they all come flooding out and it's hard to control. Like flood gates I suppose. Or trying to close a fire door, to escape when like 15 Zombies are pushing on the other side and have their stupid zombie arms are all jammed in the slightly open door. stressful to say the least.
But there is nothing that makes me happier than gestures of affection. Physical contact, words spoken, cards and simple gifts that don't cost money. Something real that I can see.
I think maybe my trust issues go deeper than I realize.
Maybe I don't even trust myself, or I just can't trust believing. I have to see it, and hear it proven, to know its not going anywhere. Which is kind of funny because I'm one of the few people I know in my age group that still hold a strong connection to my christian faith, and God. I just can't believe in people I suppose, but that shouldn't be very surprising for anyone. Humanity becomes less deserving of our faith and trust, every single day we're on the planet.
That was a bit of a rant. I had a very humbling meeting at my office today and it's causing me to reflect a lot. Now that the pity party is over, I will get back to work and stop feeling bad about myself.
Everyone needs to vent sometimes after all. If you ever need to vent, feel free to do it here. On your left. That little Ask.fm box?
<----right there!
you can tell me anything. Ask me any question you want or share any story that you think will help someone else. While I do stand by my statement that I don't have any feelings, I do have a great deal of concern for the moral fiber of our society these days, For teen girls, and everyone who has the unfortunate task of going against the grain and standing out. People who should be supported, and taught and loved. Not shunned for their individualism. Again, my personal baggage comes out here ha ha thank god growing up in a shithole with terrible people systematically killed all the feelings I had. What a mess I would be now. ha ha
Make Love and Cookies. Not War and Segregation.
<3 april
I talk to my family (mom, dad and brothers) at least 3 times a week. Unfortunately I live in a different city from all of them so It's really hard to see them more often than I do.
I also constantly try to go over and above to show boyfriends/partners what they mean to me. gifts, dates, cooking meals, back rubs, voicing my own feelings so they know what they mean to me.
Despite being mostly stone faced I fall very hard for people. I can usually tell in the first couple of months, If I love someone, or if I'm wasting their/my time. I guess that is part of coldness that I can appreciate. I can cut ties and be over it, fairly quickly when it becomes apparent to me that, that is, in fact, the best option.
I cry a lot. like a lot. I think that it's because I keep all my feelings hidden from the general population. I don't trust most people. So because I only share my feelings/emotions with a few select people that I do trust, they all come flooding out and it's hard to control. Like flood gates I suppose. Or trying to close a fire door, to escape when like 15 Zombies are pushing on the other side and have their stupid zombie arms are all jammed in the slightly open door. stressful to say the least.
But there is nothing that makes me happier than gestures of affection. Physical contact, words spoken, cards and simple gifts that don't cost money. Something real that I can see.
I think maybe my trust issues go deeper than I realize.
Maybe I don't even trust myself, or I just can't trust believing. I have to see it, and hear it proven, to know its not going anywhere. Which is kind of funny because I'm one of the few people I know in my age group that still hold a strong connection to my christian faith, and God. I just can't believe in people I suppose, but that shouldn't be very surprising for anyone. Humanity becomes less deserving of our faith and trust, every single day we're on the planet.
That was a bit of a rant. I had a very humbling meeting at my office today and it's causing me to reflect a lot. Now that the pity party is over, I will get back to work and stop feeling bad about myself.
Everyone needs to vent sometimes after all. If you ever need to vent, feel free to do it here. On your left. That little Ask.fm box?
<----right there!
you can tell me anything. Ask me any question you want or share any story that you think will help someone else. While I do stand by my statement that I don't have any feelings, I do have a great deal of concern for the moral fiber of our society these days, For teen girls, and everyone who has the unfortunate task of going against the grain and standing out. People who should be supported, and taught and loved. Not shunned for their individualism. Again, my personal baggage comes out here ha ha thank god growing up in a shithole with terrible people systematically killed all the feelings I had. What a mess I would be now. ha ha
Make Love and Cookies. Not War and Segregation.
<3 april
Sunday, 7 April 2013
knock it off!
I have a problem with people who tell their kids or other kids that they have it easy. You have no idea what that child is going through. You're an adult, and they have to trust you.
By fantasizing a childhood full of hopscotch and chalk drawings in the middle of the street, you're telling that child that they are not strong enough. That what they have going on doesn't matter. You devalue them. And when their self worth is decreased, the bar they set for themselves is lowered.
They aren't stupid.
Treat them like they are people. People that need your protection and support to grow up healthy and secure, and they just might surprise you. I'm not saying you should let them do what they want. Kids need boundaries and rules. But they need to feel good too. Violent Games and Adult television shows are not for kids. It's your job to protect them from those things. You're their parent, not their friend. Kids will be exposed to a million things that are far too mature for them to process or experience properly. Don't add to that pile of potential reasons your kid gets screwed up.
By fantasizing a childhood full of hopscotch and chalk drawings in the middle of the street, you're telling that child that they are not strong enough. That what they have going on doesn't matter. You devalue them. And when their self worth is decreased, the bar they set for themselves is lowered.
They aren't stupid.
Treat them like they are people. People that need your protection and support to grow up healthy and secure, and they just might surprise you. I'm not saying you should let them do what they want. Kids need boundaries and rules. But they need to feel good too. Violent Games and Adult television shows are not for kids. It's your job to protect them from those things. You're their parent, not their friend. Kids will be exposed to a million things that are far too mature for them to process or experience properly. Don't add to that pile of potential reasons your kid gets screwed up.
Sunday, 24 March 2013
Family
The reason that I have 2 brothers is entirely too complicated. Well one just came from the regular way. that shouldn't be too difficult to get your head around. He's 3 years younger than I am and he's awesome. It has to be related to DNA or something.
It doesn't make sense to a lot of people, but my family are very warm, community oriented people. They don't value things, but people. and the value they add to your life, for having them there. If it isn't already obvious, I was raised by hardworking but idealistic hippies. I'm so grateful for that, you really have no idea.
When I was 10, New neighbors moved in next door. An adorable young couple, expecting their first baby in 7 or 8 months. (a fetus that would become one of the two loves of my life).
He made friends with my dad. Doing dad things, fishing, going to the cabin, and the like. I would go over and hang out with her. Help her with the baby. He was beautiful. right from the first moment everyone saw him.
She and my mom got along but were not really on the same level. She was a little younger than my mom. A passionate and lovely native Woman. My mother being a fearless, strong Newfoundland woman, I think she was just a little too emotional or dramatic for my mother to really relate to her. But they were both so sweet and lovely that they always remained friends.
So after years of this family friendship. The kids growing, New Years spent watching fireworks, Bbq's in the back yard. Funny memories made that are still shared today, my phone rings at 9 am. The young dad was suddenly faced with his time to leave this world. By that time, I had come to realize that the young boy who grew up in my back yard, relied on me for a lot of things. I found myself so proud of the young man he was growing into. Smart, and Careful. Quickly becoming an inspiration for a whole group of people, and giving them a voice. He was a member of my family and I had a hand in the values that he had, and how he viewed himself. So when people are who he is, this beautiful, tall native boy, standing next to pale kid me, I tell them he is my little brother. Sometimes I'll feature pieces by him. He's a fantastic, opinionated writer and he stirs the pot quite nicely. My family and friends are everything to me. If you disrespect them, we probably wont have much interaction. the most important people in that group are my brothers.
It doesn't make sense to a lot of people, but my family are very warm, community oriented people. They don't value things, but people. and the value they add to your life, for having them there. If it isn't already obvious, I was raised by hardworking but idealistic hippies. I'm so grateful for that, you really have no idea.
When I was 10, New neighbors moved in next door. An adorable young couple, expecting their first baby in 7 or 8 months. (a fetus that would become one of the two loves of my life).
He made friends with my dad. Doing dad things, fishing, going to the cabin, and the like. I would go over and hang out with her. Help her with the baby. He was beautiful. right from the first moment everyone saw him.
She and my mom got along but were not really on the same level. She was a little younger than my mom. A passionate and lovely native Woman. My mother being a fearless, strong Newfoundland woman, I think she was just a little too emotional or dramatic for my mother to really relate to her. But they were both so sweet and lovely that they always remained friends.
So after years of this family friendship. The kids growing, New Years spent watching fireworks, Bbq's in the back yard. Funny memories made that are still shared today, my phone rings at 9 am. The young dad was suddenly faced with his time to leave this world. By that time, I had come to realize that the young boy who grew up in my back yard, relied on me for a lot of things. I found myself so proud of the young man he was growing into. Smart, and Careful. Quickly becoming an inspiration for a whole group of people, and giving them a voice. He was a member of my family and I had a hand in the values that he had, and how he viewed himself. So when people are who he is, this beautiful, tall native boy, standing next to pale kid me, I tell them he is my little brother. Sometimes I'll feature pieces by him. He's a fantastic, opinionated writer and he stirs the pot quite nicely. My family and friends are everything to me. If you disrespect them, we probably wont have much interaction. the most important people in that group are my brothers.
Thursday, 14 March 2013
video killed the industry
So I have made a couple of significant changes this week. A lot is happening. My apologies for not being around.
I began my career on Monday Morning. I'm now an Independent Insurance Agent working for AIL. Selling Life, accident and Cancer insurance, among other kinds. I'm working with people to find ways to meet their needs and provide for themselves and it feels amazing. Selling Insurance doesn't sound like it woulds be very exciting. But it sort of is. My Co Workers are amazing. My office is here in town, I work whenever I want and I have an extensive, very generous benefits program. I have picked out one of the policies that my company offers, for myself and I'm providing for my whole life, at a very affordable cost because I'm so young.
It's a very exciting position to be in, but it was in no way easy. My education began with a 21 day online program. Paid for by my employer. Which ended with a multiple choice evaluation, of 140 questions. I'm not trying to slight this exam at all. It costs $100 to do. My company also paid that for the first one, and that exam was so horrifying that I left the exam room feeling violated. I scored 54% on the $100 Free Exam. I needed 60%. I wanted to cry, but I didn't. I just went and booked the second one. paid the $100 myself, and wrote it again in two weeks.
2 days later I was at the Confederation Building having my licence processed and given to me. Tuesday and Wednesday, After some training, Jenn took me out in the field with her. We drove to Old Shop and New Harbour, meeting clients and helping them find solutions to their concerns.
People are always so relieved and relaxed after they take care of this stuff. Nobody wants to think about getting older. it's depressing, when you have so much left that you want to do. But making some arrangements now so you (or your family) don't have to in the future is one of the most affordable, important, generous things you can do for your family and loved ones.
So many people lay awake at night, with a seriously ill parent, and worries about their parents, and their own families being in this unfortunate, devastating position.
That's what it comes down to for me. I've never slept well. I can't fall asleep well, i don't stay asleep, and when I wake up I have a hard time getting back to sleep. My mind races. It's mainly the fault of an onset anxiety disorder that I possess. Jealous right?
But there are other people who go to sleep a little easier because of the work I do. Because i care and and I'm a sensitive person so I can't help but attach myself to my work a little. Maybe that is wrong. or stupid. But maybe it means that i actually care, and I have a conscience and that will make me really really good at it.
I've worked in a lot of industries that were much too rough for me. Partially because I used to think that at some point I felt I had to. That it was everyone's duty to do something that was difficult for someone other than yourself. That was being a human being, and finding another human being to love.. I still believe people owe it to the world to be kind to each other and to strive for peace and harmony. that will never change. but I didn't have to do it, like I thought I did. I think I just had to prove to myself that I could do all those things. I had to prove to myself that while I wanted a comfortable life, I didn't need one to be happy. But my goodness it helps.
Nobody ever put more pressure on me than I put on myself. In every aspect of my life. That is a flaw I will be working to fix, probably for the rest of my life. Thank God I have an amazing insurance package*.
My ideal job is based on morals, and acting in good conscience, and talking with people. It's connecting with people and adding to the value of their life. It's a lot easier to fall asleep at night knowing you made it easier for a few other people around the city to fall asleep that night. if you look hard enough. You will always find what you are looking for. You just have to make sure your looking for the right things.
*PROTIP: buy insurance when you're young. it costs pennies on the dollar (literally) and you'll never lose it. Invest in yourself, and others will too.
I began my career on Monday Morning. I'm now an Independent Insurance Agent working for AIL. Selling Life, accident and Cancer insurance, among other kinds. I'm working with people to find ways to meet their needs and provide for themselves and it feels amazing. Selling Insurance doesn't sound like it woulds be very exciting. But it sort of is. My Co Workers are amazing. My office is here in town, I work whenever I want and I have an extensive, very generous benefits program. I have picked out one of the policies that my company offers, for myself and I'm providing for my whole life, at a very affordable cost because I'm so young.
It's a very exciting position to be in, but it was in no way easy. My education began with a 21 day online program. Paid for by my employer. Which ended with a multiple choice evaluation, of 140 questions. I'm not trying to slight this exam at all. It costs $100 to do. My company also paid that for the first one, and that exam was so horrifying that I left the exam room feeling violated. I scored 54% on the $100 Free Exam. I needed 60%. I wanted to cry, but I didn't. I just went and booked the second one. paid the $100 myself, and wrote it again in two weeks.
2 days later I was at the Confederation Building having my licence processed and given to me. Tuesday and Wednesday, After some training, Jenn took me out in the field with her. We drove to Old Shop and New Harbour, meeting clients and helping them find solutions to their concerns.
People are always so relieved and relaxed after they take care of this stuff. Nobody wants to think about getting older. it's depressing, when you have so much left that you want to do. But making some arrangements now so you (or your family) don't have to in the future is one of the most affordable, important, generous things you can do for your family and loved ones.
So many people lay awake at night, with a seriously ill parent, and worries about their parents, and their own families being in this unfortunate, devastating position.
That's what it comes down to for me. I've never slept well. I can't fall asleep well, i don't stay asleep, and when I wake up I have a hard time getting back to sleep. My mind races. It's mainly the fault of an onset anxiety disorder that I possess. Jealous right?
But there are other people who go to sleep a little easier because of the work I do. Because i care and and I'm a sensitive person so I can't help but attach myself to my work a little. Maybe that is wrong. or stupid. But maybe it means that i actually care, and I have a conscience and that will make me really really good at it.
I've worked in a lot of industries that were much too rough for me. Partially because I used to think that at some point I felt I had to. That it was everyone's duty to do something that was difficult for someone other than yourself. That was being a human being, and finding another human being to love.. I still believe people owe it to the world to be kind to each other and to strive for peace and harmony. that will never change. but I didn't have to do it, like I thought I did. I think I just had to prove to myself that I could do all those things. I had to prove to myself that while I wanted a comfortable life, I didn't need one to be happy. But my goodness it helps.
Nobody ever put more pressure on me than I put on myself. In every aspect of my life. That is a flaw I will be working to fix, probably for the rest of my life. Thank God I have an amazing insurance package*.
My ideal job is based on morals, and acting in good conscience, and talking with people. It's connecting with people and adding to the value of their life. It's a lot easier to fall asleep at night knowing you made it easier for a few other people around the city to fall asleep that night. if you look hard enough. You will always find what you are looking for. You just have to make sure your looking for the right things.
*PROTIP: buy insurance when you're young. it costs pennies on the dollar (literally) and you'll never lose it. Invest in yourself, and others will too.
Wednesday, 6 March 2013
Formspring Question #11
Formspring asks: What's the bravest thing you've ever done?
I usually have a hard time deciding if the things I'm doing are brave or just really stupid.
I guess the thing that comes to mind is staying in St. John's and living on my own after my ex and I broke up.
We had been together for 3 years. I moved to the city not knowing anyone, to live with him and be with him. naturally it all fell apart. But I stayed. I had to prove to myself that i could do it on my own.
For a long time i had 2 jobs. at times 3. But for the last 5 years I've lived on my own. in my own apartment. My bills are in my name, and i'm responsible for myself. Nobody can take that away from me. Bad things happen to everyone. Too many people think it justifies them to be bitter, and dwell on things. You can't depend on anyone in this world to pick you up. it's not their job. It's yours. Everyone is responsible for their own happiness. People who dwell on bad things, and fill themselves with hate, and insecurity, never learn to trust again, and that is nobodies fault but their own. Writing this post is another one of those things, that i can't decide between Brave or Stupid on. Thank you for your question, Please keep the conversation going at HundredThousandMistakes
The only part that still irks me is he got the Wii. We bought it together and I took the bed, so all's fair. I was just really close to finishing Paper Mario Wii when shit hit the fan...
<3HundredThousand
Always Cherish The Cabin! (Formspring Question #12)
Formspring Asked: What's a secret skill that you have?
I grew up in a small town where dad and my male (and female) family members are hunters and outdoors people. I'm small and frail, and thus not built for such things. But i have been taught to shoot both guns and bows. I'm actually a pretty good shot. although it's been a few years since I've been around them.
My dad taught me to respect the large, potentially dangerous animals, that frequent our cabin property and the tools we use to hunt them. I used to be very afraid of guns. Now i understand that because I possess the knowledge to use them safely, I can view them as tools, not weapons. That being said, I grew up with hunting rifles and a standard fiberglass bow and arrow set. Dad also dulled my arrows until i was able to actually aim/hit a target. Far cry from the semiautomatic weapons that I agree should not be legal for private ownership.
Also, and this is completely not your questions, but rather where my train of thought took me, my dad is converting his cabin, to be completely light/wind powered. It's just a project for him. He's an old hippie who possesses a fascination for science and technology. I just see a self-sufficient cabin, kept safe by an iron gate, with an artisan well and food stocks for months. When the Zombie Apocalypse hits. You can find me there.
I grew up in a small town where dad and my male (and female) family members are hunters and outdoors people. I'm small and frail, and thus not built for such things. But i have been taught to shoot both guns and bows. I'm actually a pretty good shot. although it's been a few years since I've been around them.
My dad taught me to respect the large, potentially dangerous animals, that frequent our cabin property and the tools we use to hunt them. I used to be very afraid of guns. Now i understand that because I possess the knowledge to use them safely, I can view them as tools, not weapons. That being said, I grew up with hunting rifles and a standard fiberglass bow and arrow set. Dad also dulled my arrows until i was able to actually aim/hit a target. Far cry from the semiautomatic weapons that I agree should not be legal for private ownership.
Also, and this is completely not your questions, but rather where my train of thought took me, my dad is converting his cabin, to be completely light/wind powered. It's just a project for him. He's an old hippie who possesses a fascination for science and technology. I just see a self-sufficient cabin, kept safe by an iron gate, with an artisan well and food stocks for months. When the Zombie Apocalypse hits. You can find me there.
Sunday, 3 March 2013
Papa Don't Preach
My dad and I are too much alike, to ever get along properly, like normal human beings. My dad is an old hippe. I'm a reborn hippie. So we always connect on things like music and (sure I'll say it) my deep affection for Mary Jane.
In a lot of ways we are kindred spirits, with the same hopes for the world. except everything he says (through no personal fault of his own), comes through a slightly homophobic, uneducated filter, that you can only really blame on his era in time. the way he grew up and the time he grew up in
but naturally, him being overly conservative and me being overly liberal and supportive of any and every alternative form of a happy lifestyle, causes us to butt heads a lot.
While he is a free thinking person, who believe in the power of love and music, he is very set in his ways. He is from a time when homophobia and racist jokes were not taboo. Born and raised in a community that profits on control and influence regularly, Social pressure is a vicious thing to answer too in a small community.
The things I realize these days is that I'm just like my dad. Insecure, threatened, and I believe, for my own part anyway, damaged by small town mentality, and plain ignorance, manipulating a fragile soul.
My hometown is a beautiful place that has the unfortunate luck ofbeing run filled with very unhappy, insecure people. So threatened by everyone around them, and secretive of their lives. Nobody wants anyone to know anything about them, but that is not necessarily wrong because everyone is in each others business, in as judgmental of a way as they can possible manage. I get it. I do. It just seems so very sad. That is why people like we do the 18 years they were sentenced and get the fuck out of dodge at our earliest convenience It's a shame really. the potential that location could have were it to shed its ignorance and insecurity and attempt to move forward with the rest of humanity.
In a lot of ways we are kindred spirits, with the same hopes for the world. except everything he says (through no personal fault of his own), comes through a slightly homophobic, uneducated filter, that you can only really blame on his era in time. the way he grew up and the time he grew up in
but naturally, him being overly conservative and me being overly liberal and supportive of any and every alternative form of a happy lifestyle, causes us to butt heads a lot.
While he is a free thinking person, who believe in the power of love and music, he is very set in his ways. He is from a time when homophobia and racist jokes were not taboo. Born and raised in a community that profits on control and influence regularly, Social pressure is a vicious thing to answer too in a small community.
The things I realize these days is that I'm just like my dad. Insecure, threatened, and I believe, for my own part anyway, damaged by small town mentality, and plain ignorance, manipulating a fragile soul.
My hometown is a beautiful place that has the unfortunate luck of
Formspring Question #8
Formspring asked:
Has your behaviour with the opposite sex led to situations which make you anxious?
No. but the behaviour of certain people (of both sexes) has certainly done its part to make me an anxious person. Lies, Deceit, and Mistreat all leave permanent scars on people. even if you cant see them. When you leave any kind of a scar on someone they never forget you. but not in a good way. The better someone gets to know you, the better they see you. It's up to you what kind of person you want to be. Nobody can hide who they really are for very long.
Has your behaviour with the opposite sex led to situations which make you anxious?
No. but the behaviour of certain people (of both sexes) has certainly done its part to make me an anxious person. Lies, Deceit, and Mistreat all leave permanent scars on people. even if you cant see them. When you leave any kind of a scar on someone they never forget you. but not in a good way. The better someone gets to know you, the better they see you. It's up to you what kind of person you want to be. Nobody can hide who they really are for very long.
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