The solution to idiots

I believe that Anger is really just fear, or a lack of understanding manifested in the most basic way.
The least complicated way of showing emotion in the whole world is Violence. If you want to fight to prove your point and  go live in the woods, surviving off of the land like all the other primates.
I would trade Celebrity Boxing to watch THAT in a heartbeat. That's legit. Bring back gladiator hardware.
I really wanna see how tough these guys are, against Lions, Tigers and Bears. Oh my, wouldn't that be something
For the love of Evolution, Try to educate and advance yourself to the best of your ability. If you aren't working on being a good/better person, you're probably a source of grief for someone else. Probably the most foolish, to me, are people who have issues with others being gay.
People who openly, proudly admit to being homophobic aren't even complex or intelligent enough to realize they are telling you they're scared of people who are gay.
Forgive me if I'm wrong but if you cannot manage to twist your small, inflexible mind around an admittedly simple train of thought, wouldn't it just stand to reason that your small, inflexible mind may have some issues. not the whole world outside of your door?

Formspring Question #9

Formspring Asked:
Is your room messy?

Yes. All of the time.

The Motivation Proclamation

I'm on the cusp of completely improving my life, and I lack any and all motivation. What's wrong with me? Why doesn't how important it is, and how much I worry about it, force me to prepare for risk better. Ironic really. What are some ways that you find helpful for retaining information?

It's been a long time since I studied. Embarrassingly long. Writing this blog right now is more procrastination, and now I'm watching that Good Charlottle Video. My goodness I had a crush on Benji back then...when he was a skinny little nerd. I do love my Abed's.

Remember the pink hair? Oh! The Swooning...

"Always, cherish the cabin"

We had this cabin when I was a kid. It was on an island. (A small one, no bigger than a city block, but an island none the less!) That island was our paradise. My brother and I and our cousins and friends were in love with that place. I had just read Island Of The Blue Dolphins by Scott O'Dell so this was very very exciting to me.
The part of the trip I always hated was the drive there. 90 minutes, and It broke away from the main road after about half an hour and turned into a road that I feel was designed to make me vomit. I got sick every single time I went to that cabin, and I would cry and say I didn't want to go, because of it.
In hindsight, some of my most amazing memories and stories I love to tell people, happened on that island. I shot my first Bow & Arrow there, and later my first gun. (I'm a really really good shot. the result of hippie parents in Newfoundland. Unlike regular hippies, they had come to terms with killing things as a food source.) I like to think I've grown up a little as of late.
I went through a period of time where I had to deal with things far above my maturity level. For a really long time. I feel older than I am and so I have a great deal of trouble placing where I "should be" in life. This issue also caused me a  lot of grief and stress, but I've learned that there isn't one path that we're all suppose to be on. We all need to find our own path. This can be very difficult, without someone going ahead of us to make the trail a little smoother for us.

I'm headed right back to that island at the first signs of a Zombie Apocalypse. My Go Bag is packed.

Scars

For anyone who is not aware, I am completely obsessed with a handful of things. 
Zombies
Bad Movies (Netflix is a great haven for lost and forgotten, Straight to DVD "films". My favorite kind.), Nintendo
Batman
Seinfeld, 
Community, 
and the top of the list is, naturally, Dinosaurs..naturally..

While watching Walking With Beasts (Once again on Netflix, they also have an amazing selection of educational material and documentaries that I enjoy frequently) I catch boyfriend, watching me and smiling. I ask why, but I know its because he thinks it's adorable how excited I am, to watch my favorite docu-drama series. I was lying in bed this morning (My attempts to start getting up early in the morning, have thus far been an astounding failure) I was thinking about how happy he looked, watching me the night before, and how at ease it made me. 
All I was doing was what made me happy. I was in the mood to watch Dinosaurs so I did, and me being happy, made boyfriend happy. 

Maybe worrying about yourself isn't as selfish as I think it is. I think that the only way we can make anyone else happy. or be happy being with someone else, is if we are happy with ourselves first. That is not to say that we should put others out to make ourselves happy. 

The again, there is nothing more unattractive to me than a guy who feels the need to state, "I'm going to do whatever I want to, regardless" It's ignorant and childish, on top of inconsiderate and a little demeaning. It is foolish to assume that someone who cares about you doesn't want you to be happy. Why are you with them, in that case? It's also giving the impression that you don't value the person you're saying it to, or any of their needs. Someone who opened up to you in such a personal way, probably had a tough time doing it. It likely took hours of thinking about it and worrying about what to say so the message was clear and not misunderstood. This small selfish action will change how that person looks at you for a very long time. If they ever forget it at all.
I once approached a guy I was dating about something that he was doing that made me really uncomfortable. I said I wanted to talk about it because it made me worry and made me really uncomfortable. He responded by saying "I'm going to do whatever I want", without even looking away from the television. I was completely crushed. 
Saying this, or something similar to this to a "loved one" will change how she/he looks at you. It will affect every conversation you have after that, because that person now knows the level of regard you have for their feelings. You'll mostly likely see the level at which they hold you're feelings and happiness lower to meet yours. making you both less happy, and that person's view of you to be a little less than what it was..

People Pleaser

An issue that I struggle with is people pleasing. I want to make everyone happy. not through any demands of others, I just put a lot of pressure on myself to make people feel welcome and at ease. I guess maybe that is because that is the treatment I would like others to show me. (Concern, Care and Manners, Ludicrous I know..) I guess in a lot of ways I'm a fairly old fashioned person. I like having friends over for drinks or for meals. I like entertaining and being a host. I love Food and Wine and sharing those things with people I care about. There is (at least) one flaws with this personality type.
Being a Type A person causes you to clash greatly with other Type A people. Let me refer to us as Hosts (viewing our personality type as the virus. think Zombie Infection) for the sake of a small, overly imaginative girl, and her flair for the dramat argument. Unlike Zombies who are apparently unaware of each other, Type A Hosts directly interact (for the most part unsuccessfully.) Being aware of this issue allows some of us to realize we need to take a back seat sometimes, and Let someone else play host. For the most part, it merely forces host's to speak over each other, cut each other off in conversations, and perform other less than courteous gestures that leave other Hosts with a negative impression of them. 
But Knowledge is power!
If you're out at a party and you feel like you're talking too much, or being too loud, you probably are. Take a step back and listen to what other people have to say for awhile. This is not to say that you cannot take part in the conversation, simply that it's only fair to keep everything in moderation. I firmly believe that if we all try to be more self aware that world would be a much better place.

Made me what I am today.

The little gestures in life are so important. 
Compliments, appreciation, good manners and etiquette mean so much to so many people. 
I don't know anyone who can't help smiling when the lady checking you in, at the mall compliments a piece of clothing or jewelry that you're wearing. Suddenly this t-shirt that you only wear on laundry day, becomes you're new favorite. You pair it with cute jewelry and you enjoy the little boost of confidence that we get.
As issue that I struggle with a lot is people being in my space. I don't like when people get too close to me. it's nothing personal. Affection makes me feel uncomfortable. In private, with a loved one, I'm a very different person but I don't share that side of myself with anyone else.
Once after working a shift at The Levee I was at the bar restocking the coolers when I got a text from a friend. He wanted to know if there was some money at the bar for his band, as they had played for Halloween. I told him that a band member had already text me and that I was going to bring it over to his show, at another bar, and he never text me back. I got to the show and stopped to talk to a friend at the merch table where I gave my friend his money and bought a t-shirt. A t-shirt that I left on the bar, at the venue.

The next night I was at headquarters...working, pissed off, I had worked really hard to promote a show and a ton of people I knew were at another bar drinking, and didn't want to come to the event I had planned because they didn't want to pay cover. And in walks Troy. with the t-shirt that I hadn't even noticed I'd forgotten yet.

He saw that there wasn't many people there and he stayed for a drink or two. To support someone who was trying to create a good thing. The smallest gestures, either positive or negative say the most about us. Suffice to say those friends at the other bar aren't my friends anymore. Troy is, to this day, someone very dear to me. also...

Guys, I'm Throwing You A Huge

Right Now!

Not only is it one of the easiest things to do, but (and women will back me up on this) it is also the sexiest goddamn thing a man can possibly aspire to be. A Gentlemen. It is actually probably* the closest thing to a sure thing when trying to get a lady you have a crush on to notice you. Shit, if you're just trying to get laid, even. It's got to be at least 85%* effective...

In closing, be nice to each other. pay attention, give compliments, and behave with some class and dignity. My how to on being a person. Also who doesn't love a good ol' Nintendo reference!

*I estimate, clearly. I doubt there is a way to poll all women..that seems like it would take a lot of my time.

Cause and Affections

While I will never understand why people betray the people that they say they love, I can keep in perspective the fact that this specific event was nothing more than a teen boy working on his best angle at getting laid. I'm a very firm believer that we must always ask why. Understanding is the only way we grow or learn at all. and everything has a cause and an effect. The best part is she never had sex with him until like 4 years later, after they broke up. That is just Karma, plain and simple

When I was in high school I had a best friend and a boyfriend. After a couple weeks of us dating, they quickly decided that they would much rather spend their time alone together. without me. She was an (initially) close friend who was a very insecure, attention starve girl. It was such a sad thing. A beautiful, optimistic, smart girl. Well behaved and respectful. Her parents didn't want to be parents anymore, She had a brother who was 10 years older than her, and when he went off to college, they decided they were moving, having stayed for the brother to graduate with his class, and uprooting Brita after the 10th grade and allowing her to couch surf between their friends houses in my hometown, often being in the house all by herself for days at a time, While they moved a few towns over to some out-port town a few hours away. This was an event that always stuck with me. But it occurs to me now that if I was the kind of person who he wanted to be with, then he wouldn't have ended it. 
He was an older, underachieving type. Failing out of high school due in large part to absentee parents and too much free time. What is it about a plain and simple loser that we find so appealing? As if he's more legit because he doesn't treat me well. ugh...women...what is the matter with us?

Brita was someone that had a tragic lack of morals, paired with the time and ability to chase him around and be impressed with every little comment he made. And he loved the attention, So it worked out for both of them.When we broke up a friend of mine came forward to admit that (lets call him Subway Guy. it's more fitting than you even know.) had made comments, that week before about knowing I was a virgin and telling people he was going to be my first. I was so adorably clueless. That's what is so funny to me. All I cared about back then was my friends, and music, and hanging out. 
I had no interest in sex. the thought hadn't even entered my mind, and he'd already dumped me. Saved me a fair amount of grief more than likely. But as hindsight is always 20/20, The here and now through the eyes of a teenage girl is emotional and dramatic at the very best. I realize now that for girls the ages 13-17 are just to be fucking crazy. Completely out of your mind emotional and a total monster to any loved ones in your vicinity. I believe its a natural phase that we all have to go through. 

Let me take this opportunity to state, for the record, that I have never cheated on anyone. I can't express how disgusting and just plain unclassy that is. It's probably the only thing I legitimately hate in the world. Disloyalty is a character trait that doesn't go away or get changed. Someone who lies or betrays you're trust once, will probably do it again. There is no excuse for cheating. if someone isn't making you happy. that's your problem, so grow a pair and end it. Don't try to line up another girl before you break up. You're leaving baggage with both of those girls. So the next guy already hates you (If kids are involved, you'll probably be seeing him around.) and your newest prize knows she can't trust you cause if you cheated WITH HER, and she didn't care that you had a partner, neither of you can trust each other either. 

Also back to the kids thing...what is wrong with people? how are this many people having unprotected sex and getting pregnant "by mistake"? Read a book. Google it, whatever you have to do just be smarter!

Formspring Question #4!

Formspring asked: Do you like to dress glamorous?

A: If I have a reason to. I like having an excuse to wear makeup and do my hair and all that stuff. but 9 times out of tn you will see me out at a live show in jeans and a t-shirt. I'd rather be comfortable, over stylish almost any day.
When I'm uncomfortable I'm distracted and when I'm distracted I don't seem to make a very good impression on people. When I'm comfortable and relaxed, I'm happy and funny and make new friends very easily.So my first priority is always comfort.

Now all that being said I own over 60 pairs of shoes, an at least 3 pairs are covered in glitter. I think I have a very unique sense of style. I don't like to look "hot" I like to look classy and pretty. If I can do that in a t-shirt and jeans then I'm thrilled. If not? I think I clean up ok?

My Country for a Cat Meme

Baha! I just found this on Facebook. Gave me a giggle :) Share my blog with your friends!!