Bully

This needs to be said.
1. Someone who is direct and honest is not a bully. Just grow up.
Someone who says something you do not want to hear, or does the right thing, even if it isn't in your best interest, is not a bully. Nobody has to say anything you want to hear at any time. You can't control what anyone else does in their life, so worry about living your life right. Not who is going to call you on it, if you chose to be an idiot or a jerk. If you are a jerk. Your actions, and words, and malicious behavior will have repercussions, but that isn't someone bullying you. that is someone not letting you bully them. Stop playing the victim. your not.
It's a naive, childish thing to call anyone who opposes you a bully. Most people will realize this when they reach actual adulthood, and stop being a child who just thinks they're all grown up (often doesn't happen until we reach our late 20's, early 30's, and sometimes it doesn't ever happen at all, sadly)
Maybe we all need to be a little more self-aware and take responsibility for our own selfish, delusional, attention starved actions before condemning the person who cares enough to put us in our place.

2. The world is mean. it isn't anyone's job to hold your hand, or make you happy, or be there for you or any of those things. If someone wants to be there, you should cherish them, not burden them with your baggage. It's your job to work out your issues and contribute to society like a normal healthy person so take responsibility for yourself.

3. Actual bullies are worthless. I recently came across a young man on Facebook. He only went to my high school in Grand Falls-Windsor for a short time and I don't even think he would remember me, while he was a friend, of a friend. This past week, this young man, was robbed and beaten within an inch of his life. A friend found him bleeding and luckily got him to medical professionals in time, actually saving his life.
The wounds sustained are horrifying. Troubled vision and movement. constant pain and so much blood loss  that he required a transfusion, upon arriving at the emergency room.
In our small city of St. John's, Newfoundland, I never thought anyone could be capable of such hatred and malicious violence.
The overkill inflicted by this beating shows a shocking amount of anger and aggression that I can't imagine feeling toward another living thing. The fact that a person with so many friends and now a facebook full of hope and kind words, could be the victim of such violence breaks my heart for our society.
Last week, in the United States, an Australian man was visiting his in-laws and was heartlessly gunned down, by 3 teenage boys. For no other reason than a remorseless and terrifying "we were bored"
Nobody should ever have to be concerned about physical violence. Only the slowest, most pathetic people, use violence as a tool, because its the only thing they understand.
They don't understand negotiating, or conversation, or anything that makes the world run properly. Lord knows they can't possibly understand taking the highroad or being the bigger person. I think that these people generally feel inadequate in some area. Maybe something going on at home, or in their relationship. A lot of bullies, are actually bullied. I can honestly say that I have never understood making someone else feel terrible, with the same actions that make you feel awful at the hand of someone else. It just doesn't make sense to me to do something that you know makes you feel like less of a person. I'm going to go out on a bit of a limb and say that they probably don't understand their own feelings. I learned while working with abused and troubled children (I worked directly in the field and received every certification available to me for 2 years) that the most important part of my job was helping people understand their own feelings and actions. Asking most children why they do anything will generally be met with
"...I don't know"

the kid isn't being a jerk. he doesn't know. he's not mature enough yet. he hasn't learned enough to understand feelings or emotional reactions. Whether it's a child in provincial care, or a grown man or woman, I'm confident in saying that they have no idea why they do the thoughtless, immature, and downright stupid things that they do.

It's such a shame that education has taken such a back burner in North America. You can almost watch our younger generations get dumber, fatter and less aware of the world every few months. Recently I watched a television judge state that he would much rather have work outsourced, out of the US, because other countries put more importance on education and qualifying their youth for proper job placement and that he trusts them to handle serious technical issues more so than his own country. Call him a bully if you want to. Say he hates America and condemn him on your precious social media. But he is not wrong.

Bookmark Added.

I just came upon what I think is a fascinating discovery. In very broad terms, this is what happens in every single fight I've ever had with the opposite sex.

I'm pissed off. and even though I'm an intelligent human being who is fully aware that I'm being insecure and am probably blatantly wrong, I don't want the blame right away.
At the moment, that I am mad, I want to feel like it is not my fault. and that everyone sucks except me. It doesn't matter what the issue is. Shut up, I know that was a yield sign. I already feel stupid. I know my friend will be my friend again in an hour. Right now it will make me feel better to hear someone else confirming that She's wrong and I'm right.

I think I realized that we don't need you to fix it. You want to fix it because in your boy brain, that seems to be the best thing to do. As far as instincts go, I personally think it's endearing to want to save or or fix something. But, in reality, when you do try to fix it, it makes us feel like we can't do it ourselves and some of us don't like that, so we get defensive, but you can't figure out why because you're just trying to help.
In our own languages, we both know whats wrong, we just have different ways of helping each other.

Now if only I understood men, this whole puzzle will be a little easier...

Chris Rock know's what I'm talking about

Social Calls

I can't decide if I'm behind in the times or if our society has yet to develop social expectations for new behavior. I was out with a number of friends a few nights ago. (8-10 people I would estimate) and I found it very difficult to carry out a conversation. Most people talking were limited to jokes and one liners about something on the television, or commenting on others statements. Nobody was asking anyone else questions, or making any effort to converse with each other. I'm awkward enough on my own, so I often rely on asking questions to get other people talking, while I obsess about what to say, without looking weird or silly. Social Anxiety is a real treat, let me tell you.

On this particular occasion, I noticed a great deal of something that I find to be very offensive. Everyone there was on their cellphone.
A couple people were actually taking part in the same conversation on Facebook with other people. and commenting to one another about THAT conversation, and not even talking to anyone who made an effort to be the in the same room as them.

Several people spent the entire gathering texting, to make plans with other people and actually left to go spend time with THAT person, and other people were checking Facebook, Twitter, or looking at photos. Things I do to occupy myself while bored in the doctors office or when commercials interrupt a favored television show.

Am I the only one who finds this unbelievably offensive? I would have been perfectly content to stay at home and play Skyrim all evening. It was a gathering for a Pay Per View UFC event, which I have little interest in, but I went to socialize with my friends which we rarely get to do anymore. I found myself feeling very hurt that most people there would rather be having conversations with other people who DIDN'T even make he effort to spend that time with them. I even volunteered to be the designated driver, even though I had beverages sitting in the fridge, from the night before, and drove two other people there.
I found myself sitting alone, watching a barbaric sport that I have little interest in, making comments and trying to be observant, and start a conversation, to no avail.
"the little guy really seems to have the technical advantage there"
nothing. Asking questions about sponsorship and what an MMA Fighter makes were also met with dead air more often than not.
I talked more with strangers that I wasn't even introduced to, and introduced myself. They at least asked questions and seemed to want to make small talk with me.. I would have thought that kind of appalling social etiquette would be considered taboo.
More often than not, I can look around a social group I thought I was a part of, to see everyone on their cellphones. For a long time everyone with an iPhone played games together on their phones, while sitting in the same room. I have a Blackberry and don't play games on my phone, ESPECIALLY when I'm in a room and attempting to spend time with other people. I cannot comprehend any way that this kind of thing is not thought to be rude, or disrespectful.
A friend told me that I should have left and gone to do something that was fun for me, although I know this would still have resulted in judgement upon ME, and a complete lack of consideration of their own behavior. I even went so far as to say
"Guys, there are people in this room, who made the effort to spend time with you"
multiple times, and was completely ignored. Is this just another aspect of our technological society for me to be bitter about, or poor manners?
I was told about a party where the host placed a basket by her front door for people to put their cellphones in when they enter her home. I know full well that anyone who walks into my house will ignore that, even though I would love to give it a try in the future.
I want as many opinions as possible on this. I need to understand it, even if it is me that needs to get over it and accept that this is how our society works now. What do you think?

Naturally Katie

So I had a conversation with my good friend Naturally Katie recently that developed a few good points. I'm going to be posting more conversations like this with other writers about a variety of topics so give me suggestions of topics you want to see discussed, or if your a writer with an option you want to share!

Like and Share with your friends!

My conversation with Naturally Katie begins as a good friend, checking in on me, on a day that was trying the last of my patience.

NK: It sounds like they gave absolutely no signs that they were going to let you go. I can't believe it.

A: they didn't. I was at a total loss. and she emailed me to tell me. So passive and confusing.

NK: You should have at least been given a phone call. It’s basic respect. When I worked at [company], I thought I was doing great. I worked there for two years, then suddenly I was completely off the schedule; didn't even bother to tell me. People can be so rude. It’s common courtesy to speak to someone face to face.

A: people are just so passive, I think. I don't know if you've noticed in the last few months I've developed quite a large list of things I hate about our society and what its turning into...to send an email. or not put you on a schedule. really? You cant have a direct, grown up conversation. You don't have the backbone or mental coherence for that, and you made it to manage or own something. bain of the retail industry. Pathetic, power starved, middle management with god complexes.

NK: Every job has their fair share of people with an awful attitude. You can’t get away from them.

A: yes their a necessary evil but why are we letting them advance. It's just embarrassing, we should be advancing past them but if you have integrity and intelligence you still get passed over for someone else's relative or friend. it's not fair, the things that idiots are allowed to accomplish....see. that's the hate on coming out again. Sorry, I'm over it haha

NK: Absolutely. But it’s their way with people that lets them get to the top. They know how to get what they want and will use any method possible to advance.

A: Yeah, fake bullshit and passive aggressive behavior is the best way to advance in our society. it's that just the most depressing thing. Like when I sold insurance. they were passive aggressive bullies. They started telling me that the best angle was to go in there. make them feel like shit for not having insurance and burdening their children/families.
they bully people and guilt them and make them feel bad, then tell them they NEED insurance. I thought being a good person was the way to advance. but they wanted me to be like them

NS: I would hate if someone came into my home and did something like that. You should be able to sell without guilting people into it. Our society is all about how to make more money, and fast. It's sickening.

A: its so true! every lame industry has its own reality show....Canadian Pickers. I'm sorry. you're professional yard salers....Your doing something stupid and menial, to avoid getting a real job that takes work. Storage wars?! are you kidding me?! You're buying garbage! worse than that, they're overpaying for a garbage bidding war?
Remember when it was embarrassing for your mom to go to a yard sale? I used to be so embarrassed as a kid because my mom would go to them EVERY Saturday and I was so embarrassed to be seen there with her.

NK:I know! I hated going to yard sales as a child. They make particular jobs seem more glamorous by showing it on television. It's not a job. It's not improving or benefiting society in any way. People should be doing something positive with their time and energy besides just shopping for second hand shit. Shopping doesn't count as a career!

A: but why would anyone in their right mind put 10 years into a medical career, when they can take their top off on the Internet and make that money in a year?
it's pathetic. I think it all comes down to a lack of self respect. Maybe we were better off when everyone thought they were entitled to be snobby and better than everyone. At least we all set the bar higher

NK: It's less time consuming to earn money the easy way. If I wanted to strip, I am sure I would be making more money than at my current job. It's the same with many (not all) people on the welfare system. [Note: Some people make use of the welfare system that need it, due to disabilities and other commitments. I do not blame those people who do require assistance.] They get money for sitting around in their pajamas all day! They have their kids raised for them.
I like to think what keeps me trying this hard is self respect. I want a respectable job. When introduced to people I don't want to say that I have some demeaning job.
It's how I was raised. I feel like maybe children aren't raised the same anymore. Education seems underrated, especially since you can make just as much money without an education.


A: I feel the same way! I have pride in getting up in the morning and going to a job. and having bad days and all that stuff. If nobody had bad days, then nobody would have good ones either really. I believe that as a society we're all so scared of being hurt that we never bother to try. We take the easy road because we see no value in the road less traveled. That's so depressing to me. It's like we're losing our integrity our society sees no value in self respect or integrity. they're so willing to trade it for superficial things like money and fame (which really is just attention) we're such an insecure, attention starved generation.

NK: Sure, I'd love to be swimming in money. I think anyone would. But we sometimes have to choose between something that we find meaningful and something that will give a big fat paycheck. Personally, I’m dying to spend a year working in Africa once my education is finished. Chances are I will make very little to no money, but it's a sacrifice I want to make. I feel as though I'm one of few people these days who cares more about people than the money I'll make.

A: when you think about every other generation, you think about wars, or advances in human rights, and milestones that they saw in their time. and thinking about our generation is going to be downright embarrassing 50 years from now. Our grandparents were charged with sharing their stories because they were proud of the lives they lived. We're not going to have anything to irritate our grand children with.
What do we have to show for our generation? The hottest topic in the news lately is celebrity train wrecks. When did we become so focused on what other people do?

NK: Because we live in a generation that wants things now. Why do you think we have so much takeout and microwave dinners? We don't like waiting.

A: I guess it's just easier to live vicariously through those who have the things we want, instead of working for them ourselves. Envying their life just makes you feel shitty about your own. making you more insecure, and more likely to value yourself lower. when you don't value yourself you don't feel that you deserve any better. We should all want the best for our selves. why settle unless you didn't think you deserved the best

For more Naturally Katie check out her blog! naturallykatie.wordpress.com