What's in the Fridge?

So I've done pretty well with the Junk Food Detox. I'm all whole grained, and fruit filled and low cholesterol. I even found a caffeine-free diet Pepsi, that is surprisingly good. I skeptically referred to it as, "likely Club Soda poured into a glad that had previously held Pepsi"
I was very happy to be wrong. Pepsi is definitely one of the worst 3 things that I put into my body (in embarrassingly massive quantities) Usually I'm pretty good with eating really healthy, so it's mostly guiltless. But still, a bonus is a bonus.
My food habits were really the change I had the least amount of faith in. I've recently noticed that I've become a comfort eater. When I'm lonely or unhappy I've started to snack more than I like. I don't feel good about doing it. But in that moment, Food brings me some kind of comfort I guess. Something that I do actually have a lot of confidence in is cooking ability.  I'm not much of a baker but I'm a pretty awesome cook. Maybe I just associate food with that confidence and security, and feeling good about myself. I just have to be really smart about eating healthy food. I personally love Special K Everything! The Cereal, The Bars, I'll basically eat whatever The woman in the Red Dress tells me too, and if you haven't tried any of there stuff you should give it a shot.
A lot of healthy food is really tasty now. Even frozen dinners have lots of veggies and pretty tasty low calorie meals.
I have never been a picky eater. The only thing I don't enjoy often is Fish*
I've just always loved every vegetable, all fruit (except Mango due to some poor decisions involving alcohol in University), Always been eager to try every kind of food and style of cooking.
People give me crap for what I eat, no matter what I eat. If I order a burger, friends or coworkers have said that I'm lucky to be so skinny, and be able to eat it. If I order a salad the same (and different) people have said "Jesus, you're so tiny, Have a burger"
I fully understand this. People are self conscious about lots of things and project those feelings onto others constantly. I just realized a long time ago that I'm not lucky to be thin. I'm lucky to have a healthy lifestyle and diet, because that's the part that I can control. It seems that I don't really have much else to be proud of I guess. My body is the only thing I have control of, to improve, and make a difference to. so I may as well treat it like gold, right?

*except deep-fried and with fries, gravy and dressing. You can imagine how challenging it is to maintain a healthy diet that included "a feed of Newfoundland Fee & Chee"

Artistic Process

I thought I missed acting.
So I decided to audition for a play. I got the part I wanted. Nothing too serious. not too much pressure. but still quite challenging for me personally.
I love the play. I love my part, but rehearsal becomes tedious at the end of the week. Actors are often very insecure people. They need a lot of praise and attention and take "creative feedback" in weird and unpredictable ways. It's unbelievably tedious to be in a room full of people so much like myself.
In a lot of ways I'm freaking awesome. But I have a lot of flaws that I don't realize, until they irritate me about somebody else. I feel as though this probably makes me an awful person but I am who I am and I can't change that. Being in a room with with a few different things you hate about yourself for 3 hours at a time is daunting. Being the target of obnoxious, ignorant ego makes it kind of worse.

I still like the play a lot. and it's nice to see some friends that I used to work with when I was involved with a lot of this stuff. But after working a long day on my feet, making few tips on $13 Breakfasts Specials*, I don't want to go to a room where I know there will be an insecure, obnoxious, attention-starved, really, really sad person. It's not an environment I would choose to be in, if not for the obligation. But I can't stop acting because of the people in that whole social deal. It's just such a shame that it's such a small scene in our city that the same people will always be around.

I feel as though I was going somewhere with all of this. Or maybe I just had to vent the frustration of a good day that got better then ending in a crappy way. It's disappointing really.

Also, non of them are fans of Seinfeld. They don't get a single hilariously well times Seinfeld reference that I make. I don't have any other really strong ways of communicating with people. So my hands are a little tied here. How can I exist in their world? Being an actor for me is like when the paralyzed soldier in Avatar, gets in the tube to be a blue thing and have a different life. Probably more like an Animorph actually. Where if I stay as an actor for too long I have to stay that way. Also if you don't know what the Animorph's are you have a lot of reading to do.

* This is not to say that I have an issue with the tippers, or the breakfast crowd. Some of my favorite regulars are brunch on Saturday and Sunday. It's just not as expensive as other meals. Most people tip on a percentage of 10%-20% of their bill. So obviously if the bill is less the tip is less.

Progress?

So the novelty of having the free time haas worn off even quicker than I thought it would. Last night I started to worry about not having a job, and the direct result was a stress headache that kept me in bed for most of the day. The worst part of all of this is the job i interviewed for (that I want, a lot) has a tonn of interviews. The manager was lovely and a lot like myself and I really do feel asthough we'd really get along and I could learn a lot from her. But now I have at least a week to wonder how the other interviews are going, and if any of those people are better than I am for that job. There are two opening available, and I'm going to be a ball of nerves until I find out. I'm planning a casual drop by for wednesday or thursday to do a little shopping and try to get a feel for the staff there. hopefully if they like me, i'll have a little better chance.